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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "Faith waste man\nBetween the snickerdoodle drop top of plans-- crammed\nI want to snatch, my urging act\n\n--\nI kissed the blue topaz stone embedded in the ring on my right hand ring finger and prayed, \"If there's any power to you in this ring, Grandpa, destroy that sperm inside of her. Destroy that sperm inside of her.\"\n\nHexagram 26, 'Controlled Power', Line 1 and 2. 2nd hexagram: 52, 'Keeping Still'. They read: be still, be still, be still. My mind jettisons like tricycle taxis-- constantly picking up and offloading, motors wailing, unsettled. \n\nThe day before, hexagram 52 'Keeping Still', lines 1 and 3. Line 3:\nForced rigidity on the loins will cause the heart to suffocate--the heart smokes, \"an anxious flame\" one said. In turn, I pulled off her wet panties, my common sense turned to a dim flicker.\n\n\"No-baby. I can't have a baby\" I tried to pull away, but she whispered \"yes-baby\", her grip ignited something tighter as she wrapped around me like the worst monster imaginable: one of Lilith, that can lull you deeper in wet funk, the oppressive dense slurping that devours you at the same time-- \n\nShe wants to trap me, I want to give her a pill.\nShe said sternly, \"No problem. My boss is doctor. I will talk.\" I didn't believe her, but there was relief on her word and I thought of her low fertility at this age.\n\"I'll pay for it.\"\n\nAnd I'd pay for it either way.\n\n--the SUV parked out front is named 'Escape'. How much longer do I stay? I've said too much, but promised nothing, my only deluge. She keeps telling me she'll wait for me always. I say, \"don't say that. I don't know if I'll ever be back. My life is unsettled.\" And we read each others eyes until she responds, \"I understand\", without a realization of sadness, but of one that belongs to sadness, she simply has to pull the anchor to float down the stream again. \"Bad trip\" she calls it, and often says, \"This is my life\" with the same sense of sighed belonging. I want to grab her by the waist.\nThese simple acts, our seemingly simple lives become so complicated when the trivial pursuits aren't met, these of our own--of longing, one to be free, one to be attached-- what scatters and settles like dust. The involving acts makes monsters of us before the long stretch of responsibility lay bare.\n\n\"You're bad for me\" she always says, smiling. \"I'm good bad, not bad bad\", I tell her, and she laughs and gives a gentle slap on my face-- a woman in her 40s and a 28 year old man-- our age discrepency is the glue to our misconduct. She showed me pictures of herself from high school. She was 'napintas', beautiful, and I wished I grew up with her-- I'd of married a shy lonely girl like her, running home to read and watch TV, comfortably, quietly to herself. I tell her so, and she smiles and blushes, and maybe that's my problem with sincerity 'in-the-now', my urging acts and flattery that can fall flat in an hour when I'm faced with it.\n-- 'I have to keep moving', or so I say--it's romanticized. I just can't make my life here. So I give sanpaku eyed monologues of my life unsettled, and why I can't make a promise that may not keep--won't keep-- \"there's things I need to do-- but\", my eyes still drooping, \"I do like it here-- maybe I'll be wrong for leaving\". She'll let me finish then start laughing and I'll laugh with her, both of us shaking in genuine laughter at the same thing: \"liar\" she says.\n\nIn this country, the act of stealing is okay, so long as you don't get caught, you're clever. To get caught, you're in denial. Lying is on the forebear.\n\nShe made the mistake of showing me her and her co-workers' employee licenses taped to a bulletin board. They were old by 5 years. Name, age, picture, other things-- she told me about some of her co workers, innocently scanning through the license papers arranged side by side. Then she pointed to her picture and said \"chaka\" (ugly), and underneath it, age 42. She realized it and started tearing the licenses and papers off the board in self-observed controlled mania, saying she needs to replace them. I sat back to seem unassumed. Her eyes glanced back at the license of hers to reassure the printed age, that silent reaffirmation and chest patter in the heart to start up again at dismantling the board. She still tells me her age is 40, born in 1976. I play dumb and smile.\n\n--\nI make 10% interest off loans I've given to her co-workers. She added an additional 10% for herself in secret that she collects directly from them. Her co-workers are in on the secret, and somehow I still feel like the fool. It's better to be unassumed, whose the better liar.\n\nHer widowed neice told me, \"don't trust anyone here, even the ones you know.\" \n\n--\n\"Did you have a good time, while it lasted\" Donnie and Joe Emerson sang as I had visions of this country before coming. \"Cos I know I didn't\"-- those words formed like excited concrete. \n\nShe taught me the word 'lipatan'--to forget. And we taunt each other to forget each other. \nA guest and the hotel manager: we act the parts, though it's the most valid relationship between us, our secret.\n\n--\nWhenever I move I leave things behind. When I lived in an old victorian house in downtown Sacramento, I left behind a huge 300 lb wurlizter organ piano--the landlord, Mrs. Fee Yee, a wonderful, beautiful, always friendly, Chinese woman, undeservingly left with the burden of my 300 lb excess. I still feel bad for that-- a younger careless me.\n--other places I would only leave smaller things, sometimes useful, sometimes just material excretion, my shed powers: A boombox, a giant portrait of a mountain lion full sprint, a drawer full of broken cameras, a caricaturized realistic drawing of an obese co-worker named Daissy, a porch, two wooden punching posts still planted in the ground, coffee packets that absorbed the smell of old cabinets, clothes, hidden books, hidden objects, anything worth saving that's worth tossing-- but here, in Ilocos Norte, a foreigner of my grandfather's birthplace and upbringing, my 'ancestral home', my choices are heavy but tapping with lightness, and what I leave behind wants me to come back, painlessly hopeful at a sincere strange 'love', albeit misunderstood and sloshy foamed in discreet intentions that only we can understand--short lived and unpromised, \"crazy\" and unembarrassed, an accident, an excited hopeful disinclined future.\n\nAnd she still tells me, \"I understand. But I will always wait, and wait, and wait\", without an ear for me to detest. True blue and napintas ado, we build on what lies.",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "@@ -4548,19 +4548,21 @@\n ic%22--%22I \n+*\n was\n+*\n  spooked\n@@ -5196,20 +5196,22 @@\n  didn't \n+*\n save\n+*\n  me, he \n@@ -5221,14 +5221,16 @@\n ost \n+*\n killed\n+*\n  me%22\n",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "I don't see heroes and I don't see revolution. I see glass towers with no foundation, shakey in the wind--bald men climbing ladders. What's so heroic about this need to push 'original content' in a popularity contest? I see pigs strutting their gut and cheeks wrapped in the pen. \n\nThe true question: What happens when mediocrity is flaunted with power (and governed in rewards, labels and brands)? \n\nThen again, maybe you're not making a medaphor and actually just talking about comic stuff-- \n;)\nDo what you do",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "The strange attraction between an old young man and a young old woman,\n\"Harmless and complicated\",\nThe age gap made friends.\nRelief at the tired tension,\nSqueezed at the fire's quenchin',\nMute and continue,\nI will.\n\nTo rob someone's dignity,\nTo hold back,\nTo shaft the tongues of pseudo-jacks,\nMute and continue,\nI'll try.\n\nI've just planned 6 months of fair's affinity,\nThe lax epitome,\nWhere easiness comes to a head.",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "I'm surprised too--is my comment below unworthy of your reply? I'm surprised that someone can write an article with hollow gestures and gain so much attention and praise in the form of 'money'-- maybe I shouldn't be surprised by now, modern movie/music aesthetics are very much the same--the 'jump' words glitz and dazzle like shiny nickels (Truth--Reality)--I simply want to know what you mean, is it an empty basis that beads golden sweat on the surface?--is the sweat painted gold!? You can take this as a prodding and not a jealous attack, as I only want to participate as a curious dismantler to this whole process of uncritical spew and the imposing nature of mediocrity's risen power. Ay, content pushers, where's Truth in time, tick-tick, push push! content demands, everything out the window--spelling, grammar, structure, semantics!\n\nYou said:\n\"Indeed, some people can't handle the truth. They avoid, deny, reject, ignore, dismiss and refuse to accept or look at much of reality honestly.\"\n\nBy all means, do what you do, but since we're in the topic of Truth...",
      "json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"philosophy\"]}",
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      "author": "sarahewaring",
      "body": "@@ -384,24 +384,29 @@\n hat \n-is being\n+a lot of people\n  writ\n-ten\n+e\n  and\n",
      "json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"steemit\"]}",
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      "author": "sarahewaring",
      "body": "Haha sorry i have a habit of replying fast...no good with procrastination or patience i'm afraid. I didn't take it as mean or sarcasticso no worries there. I get what you mean about rushing to blindly post about stuff without due care or knowledge. Yes i agree that doesn't allow Steemit to develop the better content and clogs up the system somewhat. I have no idea sometimes with what is being written and switch off very quickly at times. But i do like simple reading.",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "@@ -1319,10 +1319,8 @@\n ople\n-'l\n , be\n",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "@@ -1311,16 +1311,18 @@\n stic\n+'\n  people'\n+l\n , be\n",
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{
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "I understand the sentiment of stream of conscious writing as mistakes happen or words are accidently left out at gathering an idea or observation, whatever it is (I have plenty of chicken scratch papers that needed to be written in the moment--and some are better for it), but in this platform, in this article feeding context (and this is no attack on you) I don't understand why people don't just proofread after they write, then click post--how can it be a bad thing? Technology can delete and type at a whim-- I almost feel that some people are on the idea that it's rebellious to not spell correctly or use (at least) good grammar--to not play by the rules, but these rules are superficial at most--all the while, the principle by which they conduct their writing is still adherring to the rules of a system within boundaries and governed on rewards, and most importantly, left unquestioned, because as I was saying in my first comment, the intention is convoluted in money making and attention getting (what may have worked might have been the articles written fast and sloppy, \"the content matters most\", I agree-- but, the eyes gleam at 'punk' as a brand, which goes against the very idea of punk itself, lacking any so-called intrinsic substance. In the Philippines they understand the meaning of 'plastic people', because they see it on TV, the internet--they're outside of the bubble)--\nSome articles, I have no idea what they're even talking about, not only because of bad grammar and spelling or words missing, but because they seem to fixate solely on using words that create the image and facade of their attempted brand (philosopher, spiritually connected, anarchist, blah blah--) moreso than the message. \n\nAnd yes, my dear keep writing--I only deleted that portion of my comment earlier because my phone spazzed the 'post' button and I didn't want to come off mistakenly sarcastic or mean. You replied too fast,  :)",
      "json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"steemit\"]}",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "@@ -862,134 +862,4 @@\n ess.\n- %0AIf there's a passion for writing, please write my dear, forget the convulsion of reputation and success (my opinion, of course).\n",
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      "author": "sarahewaring",
      "body": "@@ -201,17 +201,18 @@\n edit qui\n-t\n+ck\n  enough.\n@@ -235,16 +235,17 @@\n ld never\n+,\n  ever wr\n",
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      "author": "sarahewaring",
      "body": "Thank you for your comments! Good discussion piece and yes i will continue to write. I am dyslexic and bad grammar, spelling, doesn't bother me when i see it on others, as i often slip up, but cannot edit quit enough. If i did, i would never ever write! Some of the most amazing pieces are ignored because of this i feel. I like to discuss things, have the debate, as posted above. Its great to learn and get other perspectives. Thank you.",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "@@ -486,12 +486,18 @@\n hat \n-mean\n+it see's a\n s su\n@@ -537,61 +537,29 @@\n  is \n-too encompassing, a free pass along the mediocre ride\n+no excuse for success\n )%0A%0AS\n@@ -836,22 +836,18 @@\n g boards\n- with \n+--\n the inte\n@@ -852,272 +852,144 @@\n tent\n-ion of\n+:\n  success\n- and not simply of creating something in a genuine approach of however \n+. %0AIf there's a passion for writing, please wr\n it\n+e\n  m\n-a\n y \n-manifes\n+dear, forge\n t \n-(\n the\n-re is no one way)--There's too many facets of this system that can convolute that word, succeed, especially if you say you just want to write--my dear, than write\n+ convulsion of reputation and success (my opinion, of course)\n .\n",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "I think there needs to be a critical look on the whole thing-- the inflated ego, in this context, is the very act of inflating mediocrity to importance--that's not to say that mediocrity is necessarily bad, just that the internet itself is the peoples platform--mediocrity is the point that everyone can paint, everyone can sing, and so on--but when it enters a system of reward and reputation, intent on reward and reputation, than what else can it do but conflate with the ego with what means success--(poor grammar and spelling is too encompassing, a free pass along the mediocre ride)\n\nSome people succeed, without the smear of inflated ego, because they are genuine in their approach-- How many have seen this genuine approach (or read an article explaining the keys to success) and attempted to emulate it--the term \"original content\" is now on the drawing boards with the intention of success and not simply of creating something in a genuine approach of however it may manifest (there is no one way)--There's too many facets of this system that can convolute that word, succeed, especially if you say you just want to write--my dear, than write.",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "Truth is silence, no words need be said. Truth is the idea of self imposed importance gleaming in purpose and money make intentions.\n I find it hard to see truth anywhere but sincerity. Where sincerity lacks, the self imposed importance fills, and sometimes they're both entangled and that's simply the truth of the matter (I see much of it on this platform, to sincerely value the self imposed importance--I'm very much anti but I scurry around quietly like an old rice farmer with a hunched back--or maybe I'm the cockroach). \n--what's truth in guise of a reward system, dogs know the same tricks.  \nTruth can be a pleasant man or woman who avoids asserting a blunt domineering Truth approach, \"because people are their own best teachers\" they might say--\nTruth is nothingness, devoid of meaning: two children in front of a TV, one child says hes watching a funny movie, the other child says hes looking at a screen.\n\n\nThe buddhists say the Four Noble Truths are: \n1) all life is suffering\n2) suffering comes with the attachment to desire\n3) cessation to suffering comes when cessation to desire comes\n4) liberation from suffering by practicing the Eightfold Path\n\nIn all of your post, I don't understand what the falsity is you speak of--the word truth seems very ambigious too.\nAre you discerning the true nature of phenomena? What is reality?--the children sing: \"merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream\"--",
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      "author": "funkpond",
      "body": "I like these words!",
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