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      "author": "steem.history",
      "body": "Hello welcome to Steemit world! \n I'm @steem.history, who is steem witness. \n This is a recommended post for you.[Newcomers Guide](https://steemitdev.com/guide/@steemitblog/steemit-a-guide-for-newcomers) and [The Complete Steemit Etiquette Guide (Revision 2.0)](https://steemit.com/steem/@steem.history/the-complete-steemit-etiquette-guide-revision-20-homage-1598425779) and, recommended community [Newcomers Community](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-172186) \n I wish you luck to your steemit activities.<center> \n \n \n https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXHwdcNs5VPcBft1iSosPdHLpBNBfjuG84g3ffWhMw5JQ/image.png \n <sub>(The bots avatar has been created using https://robohash.org/)</sub> \n @steem.history \n \n ### My witness activity \n - [My aspiration for STEEM witness](https://steemit.com/hive-185836/@steem.history/my-aspiration-for-steem-witness-1601280729) \n - Provides information on Steem.  \n [Reference](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-130095) \n - Supporting the Steem project. \n [SPUD4STEEM project](https://steemit.com/trending/spud4steem) \n - Supporting the community. \n [Newcomers Community](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-172186),[Steem Sri Lanka](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-133716) ,[WORLD OF XPILAR](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-185836), [GLOBAL STEEM](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-145160), [Scouts](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-181136), [Latino Community](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-188619) \n \n ### My featured posts \n - [The Complete Steemit Etiquette Guide (Revision 2.0) -Homage](https://steemit.com/steem/@steem.history/the-complete-steemit-etiquette-guide-revision-20-homage-1598425779) \n \n [![image.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmd7of2TpLGqvckkrReWahnkxMWH6eMg5upXesfsujDCnW/image.png)](https://steemlogin.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steem.history&amp;approve=1) \n <sub>please click it!</sub> \n \n ![image.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWDnFh7Kcgj2gdPc5RgG9Cezc4Bapq8sQQJvrkxR8rx5z/image.png) \n <sub>(Go to https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type fbslo at the bottom of the page)</sub> \n \n </center>",
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      "body": "1. \"Sir, I'll interview you on the spot. How many years have you been doing morning exercise?\"\n\"Girl, get out of the way! I'm in a hurry!\"\n\n2. \"What do you do?\"\n\"Oh. My job is to kill zombies.\"\n\"Hmm? But there are no zombies in this world!\"\n\"How do you think they don't have them?\"\n3. I went shopping at noon. I didn't feel very fresh.\nBoss: they just arrived in the morning. They are all fresh.\nMe: this dish looks wilting?!\nBoss: from the morning till now, it thinks no one wants it. Isn't it depressed!\nI...\n4. I asked him: why didn't you go to work today?\nCousin: the boss with big tongue said that when he asked me to go to work, he brought me ten yuan of \"sandpaper\" on the way. As a result, I heard it as \"burning paper\"\nMe: that won't fire you\nThe cousin said: the boss saw that I bought it wrong and asked me to take it out and throw it away. I told him to keep it in case I use it again?\n5. On weekends, I took the subway with my boyfriend and my best friend. There were a lot of people,\nI was behind my boyfriend and my best friend was in front of him. I was out of my mind and pinched my best friend's hip,\nMy best friend looked back at my boyfriend with affection, and then came closer to him!\nBest friend, you...\n\n![panda.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRXcBjdqCcRk8GthdEX8UnH6H6sthhFLLnGz5LvmFZNct/panda.png)",
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