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      "body": "Congratulations @laneesh! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@laneesh/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@laneesh) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=laneesh)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "@@ -420,16 +420,211 @@\n orce. %0A%0A\n+I grew up with parents who were (and still are) madly in love. I always scoffed at divorcees because - really? You couldn't make it work?%0A%0ABeyond the cognitive dissonance I've been experiencing, \n I've bee\n@@ -892,60 +892,9 @@\n et a\n-nd instead of talking about my ex-boyfriend, I'll be\n+s\n  an \n@@ -1574,155 +1574,8 @@\n k.%0A%0A\n-All of the love our family and friends witnessed at our wedding was real %E2%80%93 it was mutual, deep, strong. The only problem is that it was misguided. \n We o\n@@ -2110,16 +2110,41 @@\n  regret.\n+ Because of this divorce,\n  I'll mo\n@@ -2324,16 +2324,18 @@\n  almost \n+2 \n years (t\n@@ -2674,233 +2674,66 @@\n . %0A%0A\n-I just feel so bad for him and how hard this will be on him when he realizes there was so much he could've done to change things, yet this is the way it was supposed to be... We were never supposed to be.%0A%0ANow, understand tha\n+Now, understand that neither of us are awful people. I jus\n t I \n@@ -2737,16 +2737,19 @@\n  I could\n+n't\n  go on b\n@@ -2896,118 +2896,8 @@\n ppy.\n- When in a situation he doesn't know how to handle, he's incapable of working really hard, or possibly at all.\n  He \n@@ -3187,201 +3187,15 @@\n ts. \n-Doesn't the truth hurt for everyone sometimes? He's never been one to handle the truth very well, especially when it's a hard truth that makes him realize his own flaws and mistakes. I think he\n+He also\n  lie\n@@ -4120,35 +4120,35 @@\n ld: \n-He's\n+We're\n  not \n-a \n bad pe\n-rson, he's\n+ople, we're\n  jus\n@@ -4157,25 +4157,28 @@\n not \n-the person for me\n+right for each other\n . An\n@@ -4351,57 +4351,10 @@\n er. \n-See, none of us come out of these things clean. W\n+On\n e ca\n@@ -4370,18 +4370,20 @@\n pe that \n-we\n+they\n  realize\n@@ -4383,18 +4383,20 @@\n realize \n-ou\n+thei\n r own mi\n@@ -4412,18 +4412,20 @@\n d where \n-we\n+they\n  could'v\n@@ -4469,18 +4469,20 @@\n that to \n-ou\n+thei\n r future\n@@ -4485,19 +4485,17 @@\n ture sel\n-ves\n+f\n . %0A%0AWe d\n@@ -4843,19 +4843,22 @@\n  we \n-really knew\n+truly realized\n  lif\n",
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      "body": "@@ -873,35 +873,31 @@\n because \n-I feel like a fraud\n+of my situation\n . My fri\n@@ -2251,17 +2251,14 @@\n for \n-two whole\n+almost\n  yea\n@@ -2389,16 +2389,18 @@\n filled. \n+%0A%0A\n I feel f\n@@ -2829,30 +2829,42 @@\n hat \n-the last straw was how\n+I could go on because of how often\n  he \n@@ -2989,27 +2989,9 @@\n py. \n-He has found that w\n+W\n hen \n@@ -3882,663 +3882,27 @@\n . I \n-watched him go from someone who aspired to be a mechanical engineer, creating new goals and working towards having children (which he never wanted to ever before in his life) to a guy who has now completely dropped out of school, dropped his jobs, can't make his half of the bills (only $777 a month) for over 7 months, someone who lies to people about everything he's doing for some strange reason. He's going to produce music, he says. He's still in school, just changed his degree, he says. He's working Uber and Lyft and at a pet shop, he says. That's pretty much all a lie, or in the job case just half the truth. That's not OK. I realize now that he\n+realize now that it\n  was\n@@ -3984,18 +3984,18 @@\n  get me \n-a\n t\n+o\n  the alt\n@@ -4369,19 +4369,8 @@\n at a\n- misguided,\n  tot\n@@ -4383,175 +4383,62 @@\n ost \n-person needs to succeed. %0A%0ABut I really did try to support him as much as I could. Then the lies just got deeper and deeper and I didn't want to support that anymore. \n+and non-confident person like him needs to succeed. %0A%0A\n That\n@@ -4641,21 +4641,16 @@\n ing the \n-real \n woman I \n@@ -4735,142 +4735,8 @@\n her.\n- It will feel really good to no longer live a lie, his lies and mine. I lied to everyone about my happiness, our marriage, our future.\n  See\n@@ -5239,20 +5239,22 @@\n  before \n-shit\n+things\n  got rea\n@@ -5318,506 +5318,8 @@\n . %0A%0A\n-That's what makes fucking up okay. That's what makes divorce okay. That's why it's okay to lie... if you own up to it some day, it's okay.%0A%0AI can't wait to be appreciated even if it's by no one because I'll appreciate myself for finally living the truth. Oh, to be on the market again - yes, dammit - because I like dating and meeting new men and touching new people and I'm not ashamed of that fact. I have so much love to give, I can't wait to find out what new adventures I'll have getting it.%0A%0A\n To e\n",
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      "body": "You focus a lot on him. I was once married to an ambitious woman and I was someone with no 'drive'. We divorced but I have felt feel from the pressure of being a home provider ever since and love every minute of my life. Maybe he was an unhappy person and lied because you were wrong for each other. Now you are both free, maybe he is happy again, or will be when it all blows over and are able to move on. If you don't have high expectations of someone you won't be disappointed!",
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      "author": "laneesh",
      "permlink": "why-big-break-ups-and-divorce-are-okay-in-my-book-and-why-lying-is-overrated",
      "title": "Why big break-ups and divorce are okay in my book, and why lying is overrated.",
      "body": "So I'm getting a divorce and it's both our fault. Adam and I met, fell in love, and eloped within 4 months. The wedding came 6 months after that. It's now been almost two years. Coming from a career driven woman in her late 20's, this is just crazy! But love is blind, I've been told. It's okay.\n\nI've been so embarrassed to get a divorce because I know there's a shitload of \"I told you so\"'s coming my way. I'm embarrassed I brought together my family and friends and married someone who's not right for me. I'm embarrassed that I'll  have to go on the dating market and instead of talking about my ex-boyfriend, I'll be an ex-wife. I can't put \"Never Married\" on my Match.com profile. Damn. I want to lie, but that's what got us here. Now I've been messing up at work, being negative AF because I feel like a fraud. My friends and family and colleagues have all noticed it. I feel so damn bad. I feel like a fraud.... it's killing me (Smalls)!\n\nAll of the love our family and friends witnessed at our wedding was not a fraud – it was real, deep, strong. The only problem is that it was misguided. We often like to think of ourselves as these know-it-all beings when actually we're just humans in progress all the time, constantly learning and shaping our future through many successes and failures. We often find that love is one of those failures, but never one to be regretted. There is an endless supply of get-out-of-jail free cards for people who are blinded by the power of love. What a force to be reckoned with, love. \n\nI am only writing this because I now realize there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to regret. I'll move forward in life knowing what love truly means to me and what I value in a mate. Through not being able to experience a deep and meaningful partnership with my husband for two whole years (the entire marriage), I now know how important partnership is to me and how to recognize when that need is not being fulfilled. I feel fortunate that I was able to learn it in such a short period of time, and without having home ownership or children to separate under the guidance of a lawyer. I consider myself ridiculously lucky. \n\nI just feel so bad for him and how hard this will be on him when he realizes there was so much he could've done to change things, yet this is the way it was supposed to be... We were never supposed to be.\n\nNow, understand that the last straw was how he lies. He lies all the time. About everything. But he doesn't lie because he's a bad person; he lies because he's unhappy. He has found that when in a situation he doesn't know how to handle, he's incapable of working really hard, or possibly at all. He told me once that he \"wasn't like me\" because he has \"no drive to have a career.\" He only wants to do what he can to get by so he can do what he wants when he wants. \n\nI thought to myself, \"What a millennial!\" \n\nOh, wait, I'm a millennial, too.\n\nI think he lies because the truth hurts. Doesn't the truth hurt for everyone sometimes? He's never been one to handle the truth very well, especially when it's a hard truth that makes him realize his own flaws and mistakes. I think he lies because he just straight up doesn't like his life. That definitely means I am not the one for him – it's not just the other way around. I hope he realizes some day that I was not the right woman for him because if I was, he would be happy and fulfilling his dreams... not lying all the time. I watched him go from someone who aspired to be a mechanical engineer, creating new goals and working towards having children (which he never wanted to ever before in his life) to a guy who has now completely dropped out of school, dropped his jobs, can't make his half of the bills (only $777 a month) for over 7 months, someone who lies to people about everything he's doing for some strange reason. He's going to produce music, he says. He's still in school, just changed his degree, he says. He's working Uber and Lyft and at a pet shop, he says. That's pretty much all a lie, or in the job case just half the truth. That's not OK. I realize now that he was a lie from the beginning; he lied about what he wanted out of life just to get me at the altar. \n\nOf course, I'm an idiot because I married him after just knowing him for three months. There goes my credibility. When he started failing miserably at everything, I got really hard on him. I'm a \"person of reason\" I've been told, and when shit doesn't make sense, I can be a bitch. I nitpick and over analyze and try to solve his problems. That's not exactly what a misguided, totally lost person needs to succeed. \n\nBut I really did try to support him as much as I could. Then the lies just got deeper and deeper and I didn't want to support that anymore. That's why I'm writing here today. I need to proclaim it to the world: He's not a bad person, he's just not the person for me. And that's okay.\n\nThere's no need to pretend anymore. I can go back to being the real woman I was when we met, or possibly a much different and a more developed version of her. It will feel really good to no longer live a lie, his lies and mine. I lied to everyone about my happiness, our marriage, our future. See, none of us come out of these things clean. We can only hope that we realize our own mistakes and where we could've done something different and apply that to our future selves. \n\nWe definitely all go through this at some point in our life. I haven't found out quite yet, but maybe we have to go through this the entirety of our lives. We live a lie, get caught, fuck up, have to move on. Oh, to have the strength to move on! I think we'd be more comfortable, stronger, more capable of moving on before shit got real bad if we really knew life would get better as a result. \n\nThat's what makes fucking up okay. That's what makes divorce okay. That's why it's okay to lie... if you own up to it some day, it's okay.\n\nI can't wait to be appreciated even if it's by no one because I'll appreciate myself for finally living the truth. Oh, to be on the market again - yes, dammit - because I like dating and meeting new men and touching new people and I'm not ashamed of that fact. I have so much love to give, I can't wait to find out what new adventures I'll have getting it.\n\nTo everyone out there who is too embarrassed or scared to dump their partner or get a divorce or leave their job or admit they're wrong, just remember - it's okay. Now get out there and do something about it! Stop living the lie! If I can do it, you can, too.",
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