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      "body": "Congratulations @maxjcarter! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@maxjcarter/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@maxjcarter) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=maxjcarter)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "Congratulations @maxjcarter! You have received a personal award!\n\n[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@maxjcarter/birthday2.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@maxjcarter)  2 Years on Steemit\n<sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub>\n\n\n> Do you like [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)? Then **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!",
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      "body": "Source: https://thechurchofrocknroll.org/2016/08/22/behavioral-manipulation-101/\nNot citing sources of copied works is plagiarism and frowned upon by the community.  \n\nShare content and add value by:\n- Using a few sentences from your source in “quotes.” Use HTML tags or Markdown. \n- Linking to your source\n- Include your own original thoughts and ideas on what you have shared.\n\nRepeated plagiarized posts are considered spam. Spam is discouraged by the community, and may result in action from the [cheetah bot](https://steemit.com/steemitabuse/@cheetah/cheetah-bot-explained).\n\nIf you're an original author could you, please, verify yourself? \nVerification can be as simple as posting to your website or blog. If you use twitter or facebook, you can also create a tweet or post there. For our easily recognizable Steemians, a photo with you holding a piece of paper with the time & date will suffice.  \n\nThanks.\n\n@steemcleaners",
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      "body": "Source: https://thechurchofrocknroll.org/2016/09/19/sexual-healing/\nNot citing sources of copied works is plagiarism and frowned upon by the community.  \n\nShare content and add value by:\n- Using a few sentences from your source in “quotes.” Use HTML tags or Markdown. \n- Linking to your source\n- Include your own original thoughts and ideas on what you have shared.\n\nRepeated plagiarized posts are considered spam. Spam is discouraged by the community, and may result in action from the [cheetah bot](https://steemit.com/steemitabuse/@cheetah/cheetah-bot-explained).\n\n@steemcleaners",
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      "body": "I’m not talking about Marvin Gaye here, I’m talking about healing deep rooted sexual trauma.\n\nThere is a horrifying statistic that exists out there. A woman is more likely to be sexually assaulted than not in this day and age.\n\nA study showed 2 out of 3 college age males admit if they thought they could get away with it they would rape a woman.\n\nHouston we have a major fuckin’ problem here.\n\nHow do we fix such a horrifying reality?\n\nFor survivors of sexual trauma it is often that the nature of the event becomes a sexual imprint for the type of sex that is preferred as if to somehow take the power back by making it wanted. It’s the only way the mind can rationalize the body reacting and orgasming though the sex was unwanted. This can happen to men as well as women and has scarred too many people.\n\nThe best way for these people to find the pleasure in sex without the the nightmare attached is through sexual surrogacy. It’s a way to relearn how to make love and have the experience be about the open connection and blending of souls that can be a beautiful experience as much as it can be fun to fuck like animals.\n\nDeeply connected love making has nothing to do with monogamy.\n\nIt has nothing to with promiscuity.\n\nIt has a little to with lust and a lot to do with love.\n\nIt has a lot to do with patience and surrender.\n\nIt has everything to do with respect that starts with self and is given to others.\n\nHere’s a little science that trumps any mortality anyone might think I might thrown down. You exchange a piece of your soul with everyone you have sex with.\n\nScience has even done research to prove this as a fact and not a debatable idea or superstition or whatever someone might try to use to avoid accepting this simple truth.\n\nCurrently in the United States if someone is paying you for sex, unless there is a camera and distribution involved it’s called prostitution and is considered to be illegal.  In ancient times the role of the whore was a sacred calling of a spiritual nature that served the community in teaching how to have sex be the pleasure and bond strengthening experience it was designed to be while allowing for any kink that gets you off within limits that are healthy for the human psyche.\n\nI look back at my own first sex and realize how fortunate I was. I was in love and made love. Not a lot of people have that in their past as the first time they had sex and too many have a memory that is an endless nightmare of sexual assault.\n\nOne of my causes is working to have sexual surrogacy become legal and to reintroduce the sacred whore to our culture. In my mind had I known at 18 that I could go to a woman to learn to be a proficient lover, I would have worried a lot less about sex. In life anytime I am not wondering about where sex will show up in my life I am a much more relaxed and chilled out man.\n\nI might be a Shaman, but I am am still a human male with a healthy sex drive. While I might not always be monogamous I am very picky when it comes to who I am going to share a piece of my soul with.\n\nOver the course of my life I have always had at least 6 women I am a surrogate boyfriend to. If I don’t have these women in my life I go look for them. I give them everything they need in a companion without the sex or romance. Romance in this day and age has become about possession.\n\n“My boy friend/girl friend.”\n\n“My husband/wife.”\n\n“My girl/guy.”\n\nPossession.\n\nNo one owns anyone.\n\nWe live in an age where women have been made into sex objects to a degree that too many never feel as though they are heard by any man. I often have found in life that the guidance I need and I am often seeking is how to a better father and a better man in general. I’ve often found I have received the best guidance in that area from the women in my life.\n\nRegardless of how natural homosexuality is we are designed to couple off and create more generally speaking.  Other than dolphins we are the only species on the planet that has sex for fun as well as procreation.\n\nI’m a humanist, not a moralist. I live by one rule.\n\nDon’t go to jail, if you like it, do it again, if not, don’t.\n\nWhen it comes to sex I look at why it is I want sex beyond the fact I get horny. I look at my past and where sex has led me when patience and discernment were not exercised. I am not proud of some of the things I have done. So what, we all have that shit and it’s called learning through experience. If I didn’t like what happened that one time, do something different next time.\n\nBruce Lee said the that simplicity is the key to brilliance.\n\nAt this stage of my life at age 42 after being married 3 times, number 4 sounds less and less attractive all the time. It’s not that I would never live with a woman again, I merely do not need a piece of paper that tells us we own each other. It’s not that I am simply looking for someone to bump uglies with on a permanent and exclusive basis.\n\nIn mastering the art of Tantra my personal views changed quite a bit. I am not going to preach them to you, not my style. However there is an aspect of life that is not for everyone that takes a true understanding of what love is and how to live in it.\n\nI have often said I fall in love with damn near every woman I meet. I can never pick one. In the past I felt guilty about this thing I can’t turn off that sees the beauty  and potential in every woman. What makes that falling in love so unique with each is the unique rose they are. Each with their thorns from the past that created the beauty of their bloom upon our first meeting.\n\nIt’s due to this I have often said I never pick women up. Like a rose a woman is to be appreciated where she blooms best and if a replanting is needed take care of the roots that fed her and made her bloom the way she did when you met.\n\nWhat is simple in statement is never so easy in living. Simple and easy rarely match up.\n\nThe human is a savage creature of instinct and emotion. Sure we have evolved and can override those base instincts and learn to manage our emotional states, however the fact that  it is a fight to tame a beast shows how much of the beast still resides within each of us.\n\nHaving an occupation of spiritual sexual teacher is one that teaches students to tame that beast so that maybe we can reduce those numbers of sexual assaults and save future generations from the horror stories I have heard too many times from too many women and men alike.\n\nIt’s not a bout religion and it’s not about morality. It’s about being responsible with your flesh to be responsible with your soul to keep yourself in the best mental, physical and spiritual health regardless of your other spiritual practices. Sexual healing starts with preventative care. It starts with understanding there is nothing wrong with you and exploring who are sexually is as important as any other aspect of your being and needs to be done in a safe and supportive environment in order to ensure your own well being as well as the well being of your partners.\n\nA lot of the charity I work I do is in assisting those with sexual trauma heal themselves. The one thing that so many of them still need is that physical lesson of what love making can be so they can perform with confidence with future partners and know what it is they are looking for when it comes to healthy sex in a healthy relationship.\n\nDon’t go to jail.\n\nThere is a need for these kinds of teachers and healers in our world and in our country right now the need is great. This is why I am and always will be a supporter of the legalization of prostitution. I want the door open for people to get the true education they need to have the best chance at living without the horrors too many already have had to survive to reveal the strength within them. I want those who have lived through those horrors to have a better chance of healing and experiencing the beauty that connected love making can be as well as the fun of other sexual play.",
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      "body": "nope, i agree, words don't hurt people. in fact see here :\nhttp://www.businessinsider.com/study-swearing-is-healthy-2014-5\nswearing is actually good for you. it lowers anxiety.\nthere is also Stella Grizont, she has a masters in applied positive psychology from U Penn. and uses an ice cream truck that people get inside and scream their head off for corporate team building exercises. see here :\nhttps://www.bulletproofexec.com/91-hacking-happiness-with-stella-grizont-podcast/",
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      "body": "@@ -2310,16 +2310,17 @@\n is bad.%0A\n+%0A\n Create a\n@@ -2361,16 +2361,17 @@\n e word.%0A\n+%0A\n Be consi\n@@ -2436,16 +2436,17 @@\n lators.%0A\n+%0A\n Use an e\n@@ -2501,16 +2501,17 @@\n comply.%0A\n+%0A\n Make tho\n@@ -2548,16 +2548,17 @@\n ferior.%0A\n+%0A\n Use reli\n@@ -2625,16 +2625,17 @@\n essage.%0A\n+%0A\n Use form\n@@ -2676,16 +2676,17 @@\n e idea.%0A\n+%0A\n Repeat w\n@@ -2799,16 +2799,17 @@\n nguage.%0A\n+%0A\n  Fuck ov\n@@ -2891,16 +2891,17 @@\n comply.%0A\n+%0A\n Repeat c\n@@ -2990,16 +2990,17 @@\n masses.%0A\n+%0A\n This is \n",
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      "body": "Fuck\nIf seeing that word bothers you it is due to you being mentally ill. Here’s why.\n\nIn psychological terms you have become delusional and inflict harm on yourself and others due to a delusion based on brainwashing or programming or propaganda or marketing. They are all ways to describe manipulating people to do what you want.\n\nIf fuck bothers you, every reason you give for why is invalid. Here’s why.\n\nIt never bothered you until someone told you it should.\n\nIf millions of people believe the same lie, it’s still a lie and their stupid for thinking numbers make them right.\n\nLanguage is our thoughts expressed, it’s how we attempt to define ourselves and set ourselves apart as individuals or as part of a social gathering of living situation.\n\nIf you ever want to have control over people the first thing you do is change their language. It is crucial to control and limit how they express themselves to create a standard to judge people as being deserving of belonging or judged as unworthy and cast aside. If people don’t comply with your language demands they are punished until they do comply. The punishment is often exclusion with the emotional intent of devaluing them as human beings due to noncompliance with your structure of controlling a mass of people.\n\nIn simplest terms we use language to say do it our way or else. You will bow to the authority we have given ourselves to tell you how to think and what to think we will fuck your world up if you don’t.\n\nI have no problem with hearing a child say fuck as there is nothing obscene about the word unless you want to use it to judge people and see them as inferior so you can feel superior to them. I said fuck as a child not to be obscene, I said it because it fit. Even as a child it made no sense that there were words we weren’t supposed to say, yet most used them anyway.\n\nI was chastised by a CEO on Linkedin for my use of Fuck. What makes her a fucking hypocrite was as she attempted to admonish me she made the mistake of saying fuck to me and admitting her use of it on a regular basis in different settings. If it’s not OK everywhere it’s not OK. If its OK anywhere it’s OK everywhere. If you don’t speak up they won’t know who I’m talking about.\n\nWhat does it take to convince the masses a word is obscene?\n\nTell them the word is bad.\nCreate a system of punishment for using the word.\nBe consistent in repeating your message and your punishment of violators.\nUse an emotional punishment that will encourage them to comply.\nMake those who don’t comply seen as inferior.\nUse religion and government and the education system to spread the message.\nUse forms of entertainment to reinforce the idea.\nRepeat with consistency over time to achieve systematic societal change creating inferior and superior based on language.\n Fuck over any and everyone to set examples publicly to show why the masses should comply.\nRepeat cycle and never give up the lie. The lie being that your not trying to control the masses.\nThis is the magical 10 steps to brainwashing a populace.\n\nAnyone think I am wrong?\n\nIf you do, please speak up and let’s fuckin’ talk it out.",
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      "body": "<p>I am not trying to sell myself, I am being myself. </p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>There is no cookie cutter approach to doing that right. </p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>The greatest thing any of has to sell is who we are and our personal stories. There is no cookie cutter to telling your own tale. There are no key words or buzz words or trigger words that are who you are and are the stories of your life. Your history tells them why they should be listening to you now when the question comes up. It’s why we have resumes.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>I have been blogging since MySpace first introduced the feature back in 2006 or 2007. People connect to a personal story. People are tricked into thinking you are being personal by using key words like “tips or tricks to be successful” and it the worst kind of emotional abuse there is.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>These tips and guides are teaching you to exclude and how to exclude and they are making up reasons as to why you should exclude and programming you to think their way so they can make a living off of your ignorance.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>Sad but true.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>A great song by Metallica that when a friend tagged me on it when she posed the video on Linkedin, I didn’t realize that was my Rock God message for the tone of my day and the message I had to share with the world in the interest of soul healing.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>Then I had a phone conversation with someone who does what I do. One of things that came up was me admitting that all emotional healing is self healing and that as a healer I simply guide and direct you in how to heal yourself. If you never follow the guidance the change your view and make the changes in your expression of self the pain comes back and I am just removing it for a while to give you the chance to figure your shit out.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>It’s all most Reiki practitioners do. Temporary relief until you fix yourself and if they never tell you that they can keep you coming back and you become the junkie to their drug dealer.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>Sad but true.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>Part of what I do is drop the veil and hurt you with the truth that has you looking at your life with new eyes that has you judging yourself.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>Of course no one wants to go through that even though they need it to actually heal.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>If you never judge you, then you never forgive you and you will go on punishing you when it is not needed. Simply make better choices to avoid life’s punishing lessons of what not to do. Facing that mirror of truth is not something you go looking for and often will try to run away from when it shows up in your life.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>Sad but true.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>What writing and tip guides for social networking platforms do is kill creativity and kill the individual expression as much as they think they are giving it form to grow. Individual expression has no form except that which feels like an honest expression of self. No rules and the only tip is to figure out on your own who you are and then express it your way and if they can’t hang let them miss out on the work of art you are.</p>\n<p><br /></p>\n<p>Sad but true.</p>",
      "title": "A Shaman’s view on Social Network writing tips and guides",
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      "body": "Thank you.",
      "title": "",
      "author": "maxjcarter",
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      "body": "Hi! This post has a <a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flesch%E2%80%93Kincaid_readability_tests\">Flesch-Kincaid</a> grade level of 5.4 and reading ease of 85%. This puts the writing level on par with Jane Austen and JK Rowling.",
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      "body": "<p>If I do not feel like you care about me, I am going to give you my bare minimum and nothing else. </p>\n<p>If I do not feel like you want to know anything about me, I am going to be completely apathetic towards you and anything you want. </p>\n<p>If I do not feel valued by you, I will not value anything you have to offer me. </p>\n<p>We all do this. We all feel this way and if you want to lead it has to start with you and it has to start with you caring about them and letting that show.  You have to show them you care about them to your own detriment. You have to show them you will sacrifice your wants and your needs to make sure they are taken care of. </p>\n<p>You have to actually care about them more than you care about you. If you cannot do that, you cannot lead a rock. People will do what you say because of your title, but you will never actually lead them because there is a huge difference between compliance and following a leader. </p>\n<p>Remember in the story, the king serves his subjects. To best serve your direct reports you have to know what they need as an individual human being to perform better. Each of us is different and it takes different motivations. For some people just hearing thank you on occasion is all they need. Some people need someone to dump on and vent their work frustrations to. Having that person around makes the job easier, does it not?</p>\n<p>The point here is that you need to figure out how to be what they need when they need it and that is not an easy thing to do. It gets easier the better you know your people. It becomes easier to anticipate their reactions and gage your message based on how you have seen them receive like messages. Your experience with them will be your greatest teacher in how to inspire and motivate them. </p>\n<p>Pay attention when they think you are not. You will be surprised at what you learn. Ask them questions about themselves and the stuff they keep on their desk. Listen to what they say and if need be make notes when you get back to your desk. </p>\n<p>You will only be as good as you prepare to be. </p>\n<p>This means that before every interaction with a direct report you need to prepare for it by reviewing everything you know and thinking about what you want this interaction to be. Remember you have the responsibility of exemplifying the standard of what this interaction should be. You cannot break. You have to be prepared for anything. </p>\n<p>What do you know about what is going in Bob’s life right now?</p>\n<p>What message do I want to convey to Bob?</p>\n<p>How does Bob respond to this type of discussion?</p>\n<p>What questions is Bob likely to ask?</p>\n<p>How am I going to answer those questions?</p>\n<p>These are all things that should be a part of your mental checklist every time you stop by to chat with someone. </p>\n<p>What will surprise you is when you start doing this to your spouse and your friends after doing at work all day for a while. This approach changed the way I interact with people and I would say based on my experience it has made me a better father, a better friend and a better leader in whatever I choose to do. </p>\n<p><br /></p>",
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      "body": "Hi! This post has a <a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flesch%E2%80%93Kincaid_readability_tests\">Flesch-Kincaid</a> grade level of 6.2 and reading ease of 82%. This puts the writing level on par with Stephen King and Dan Brown.",
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      "body": "<p>There is a profound difference between having a title that makes you the boss and being a leader who just happens to have a title. People will tolerate the former and want to follow the latter eagerly.</p>\n<p>The last place anyone should ever find out about a bad year is at the end. I recommend monthly one on one meeting specifically for performance and career review. There should be an agenda for this meeting that gets forwarded to your direct reports. The agenda should include a section for your direct reports concerns so you can prepare for them and not be caught off guard face to face. </p>\n<p>If they see you crack, they know they have you and it takes time to build their confidence in you again.</p>\n<p>These meetings are also your opportunity to check in on longstanding personal issues you may know they are dealing with. It gives you the privacy to let them talk. Always be wary of Human Resources’ guidelines for material discussed during these meetings and never let yourself forget you are a professional who will not lose their demeanor. </p>\n<p>I hate to say it, but sometimes your direct reports will try to bait you into saying something in private they can use against you later. This also goes for running into them outside of the office. </p>\n<p>Let me give you my personal experience. I was at the bar and had a few and some of my direct reports were there and I made the mistake of telling one of the women and I quote “If we didn’t work together, you would be someone I consider dating, but since we do, oh well.” </p>\n<p>I never made any other mention to her again. I never asked her out and never even looked at her cross eyed. She was a strong performer. Her performance began to slip a year later and I nearly lost my job. I never drink around my direct reports and I never engage in social activities with them unless it is company sponsored. Even then I keep my professional mask on. </p>\n<p>Never allow yourself to put into a position where they even feel the need to question your character. Once they start, they will never stop questioning it. In that same year, I had another direct report being overheard saying she was going to have my job. </p>\n<p>When given the choice, I kept her. A year later she was singing my praises to my boss. It can be done, but notice I said “a year later” I forgot to mention all the hard work it took to repair that relationship. When I left the company, that woman was one of my star performers and we left on good terms. </p>\n<p>Here is the point. If you screw up, own it and fix it, no matter what it takes. It just could create a better leader in you and a new leader to replace you if you leave. </p>\n<p>Team meetings can be what makes or breaks their perception of you as a leader. </p>\n<p>Is there an agenda?</p>\n<p>Did they get that agenda the day of the meeting or a couple days before?</p>\n<p>Have you rehearsed your delivery? </p>\n<p>This is your chance to shine in front of them and continue to earn their respect. Every team I ever managed had one rebellious soul. This person is also what I like to call the “Mob Boss.”</p>\n<p>Let me put it this way, is there one person that you know will be the first to stir the pot and raise as much descent as possible?</p>\n<p>Here is how you beat them. Tailor your delivery to them. Prepare everything to answer the questions you know you don’t want to hear. Be prepared to not even blink and have the answer that will make the Mob Boss shut up and listen. </p>\n<p>When the rest of them see you have their unofficial leader eating out of your hands, you win. They now have more respect for you and are now listening to you and not just waiting to see what the Mob Boss is going to say. I know it seems like a lot of work, but to be a leader takes a lot of work. </p>\n<p>Also, think of it this way, by the time you implement everything in this guide and have it running for six weeks, I guarantee you will not be working half as hard as you are now to keep up and you will be leading the way. If it helps, remember I do this kind of thing for a living and I like to live well. </p>\n<p>That brings up another good point. Do not be afraid to let them know what your qualifications are, but do not flaunt it. Here is some of the highlights from my resume. </p>\n<p>Improved sales by eighty-percent creating an additional twenty million dollars in monthly sales revenue for the client.</p>\n<p>Designed the operating model for the department.</p>\n<p>Rewrote portions of Air Force technical manuals. </p>\n<p>Managed three-hundred and fifty customer service and sales representatives and a team of twelve supervisors</p>\n<p>I could go on, but I think you get the point. I have the experience being a leader and now as a consultant I train leaders. I know what I am talking about. It’s why this material comes across with the attitude it does. You see I have already paid my dues and proven myself repeatedly and now I am trying to help you avoid some of the mistakes I did make and make it further then I did. </p>\n<p>I told you to tell them your own story, well, let me tell a little bit more of mine. </p>\n<p>At age seventeen I went to basic training for the United States Air Force. I was trained to be an Electronics Communications Technician. I was trained to be a leader at the same time. To give you an idea of my character, let us go back to basic training. </p>\n<p>I had been hospitalized for strep throat and had to be moved to a new group of guys due to being in the hospital for too long. Well long story short, my mom got worried and was calling the base. My TI’s pulled me in the office and told me to go call her. My response.</p>\n<p>“Sargent Anonymous, are the rest of the guys going down too?”</p>\n<p>“No.”</p>\n<p>“Then why should I get to go?”</p>\n<p>That was the first time I showed what a leader is by simply being a leader. I saw no reason for any special privilege and they ended up making me go call my mom. </p>\n<p>When I was stationed in Oklahoma, I was the technical order supervisor and the office files clerk. I was also the lead trainer as I was two levels ahead of my rank in completed training tasks.</p>\n<p>When they sent a team to judge us on how we did our jobs, my four man crew was recognized as the outstanding performers out of over a thousand. My shop, was the outstanding work center out of five squadrons. My flight was the outstanding flight. My squadron was the outstanding squadron and these are the people I learned from and with.</p>\n<p>The team that judged us, told us they had to rewrite the criteria because we blew it out of the water. We rewrote sections of technical manuals that changed the way our business got done.</p>\n<p>We made the Air Force change the way our business got done by our performance and tireless dedication to being the best at what we did.</p>\n<p>When I worked at my first call center I was in trouble for something there was no training for or no documentation for. I responded by creating a training manual and the first Standard Operating Procedures the company had seen. I later went on to rewrite three sales scripts with client approval that boosted sales eighty-percent.</p>\n<p>I modeled a redesign of a customer service call center operating model and took the worst performing team in the office with the lowest morale and turned them around with sustained performance. I helped to create a behavioral interview guide. I designed a reward and recognition program. I am leaving out a ton of stuff. Also realize there were many seventy-plus hour weeks during those years as I was developing this.</p>\n<p>The point is this, I know my shit because I have worked it and seen it work. </p>\n<p>It is my experience that gives me the confidence to speak very directly with you on this topic. I am direct because I want to make sure you understand the concepts that I’m taking time away from being to share with you. </p>\n<p>Now, let me be the first to knock me off my high horse by telling you about some of my failures. </p>\n<p>I failed a group of people once. I failed them by not having the strength to stand by my convictions. In the end there were about forty people who got screwed because I did not stand and fight for them. </p>\n<p>I failed a couple hundred people during the summer when I sent them home early every day without pay so I could make my numbers. </p>\n<p>I failed a guy once by overloading him and then had to fire him because of it. </p>\n<p>The point is this, you will fail at times, but you cannot let those failures be what drives you. Simply take the lessons from those failures so you do not repeat the same mistakes again. </p>\n<p>My high school principal told me once “I will give you a million second chances, but I will never give a third for the same thing. You are going to make mistakes but if you do not learn your lesson and make the same mistakes over again, I cannot help you, because you are not trying to help yourself.”</p>\n<p>Wise man, I still refuse to call him by his first name to this day. I respect him too much. He earned that respect by knowing and caring about every single one of his students. That is the attitude a leader takes to any job. You care about the people around you and you know them as well as you can. </p>\n<p><br /></p>",
      "title": "The Road to Leadership: Part 6",
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      "body": "<p>I have two stories I want to share with you that will become tools you can use with your direct reports and in many other areas of your life as well. We deal with human beings with human issues and sometimes a simple story can help put them at ease. When one of your direct reports is having a bad day or a rough time in life, try this one. </p>\n<blockquote><em>A king one called his wise men to him and asked “Wise men, I want you to give me something that will make me happy when I am sad and make me sad when I am happy.” </em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>“King, why would want such a thing?”</em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>“Well, as king I can never allow myself to be too happy or too sad in front of the people. I want something that will help remind me that my people may not be as happy or as sad as I am.”</em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>“We shall do our best sire.” The wise men went away and came back some weeks later. </em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>“Oh good King we have done as you have asked and brought you something that will make you happy when you are sad and make you sad when you are happy.” They handed the king a ring.</em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>“What is this, how will this ring make me happy when I am sad and sad when I am happy?”</em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>“Look at the inscription sire.”</em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>It read this. “This too shall pass.”</em></blockquote>\n<p>Life is a series of ups and downs and no matter how down it seems right now, this too shall pass. </p>\n<p>You would be surprised how effective a good story can be at the right time. Use your personal history and don’t be afraid to tell your story to help your people have a better day. This next story is to illustrate what leadership can really be.</p>\n<blockquote><em>The term landlord comes from the term Lord of the Land and the Lord cared for the people who cared for the land and saw to their needs. The Lord of the Lords or the King cared for the Lords as he cared for the people. Most people don’t realize that the true king never sits on a thrown nor does he where a crown. </em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>He is wandering his kingdom and finding those who have a need he can fulfill. As he helps these people, he gets to know them and he gets to see how it is they came to have this need. The king is a wise man and as he gets the full story he can see if these people live by the king’s law. If the king found these to be good people, then something wonderful would happen after he left. If these people were in foul of the king’s law, something horrible would happen after he left. Either way no one ever really knew who the king was and that was his power. </em></blockquote>\n<blockquote><em>If you knew you were in the presence of the king you would put your best foot forward and make sure you were doing everything right, but that is not a fair look for the king.</em> </blockquote>\n<p>There are two points to this story. The first is to always be doing what you know you should, because you never know who is walking by and second, the king’s subjects do not serve the king, the king serves his subjects. </p>\n<p>Listening to your people is your greatest tool. They are on the front the lines doing the dirty work, so why not ask their opinion and make adjustments based on those opinions. Let’s face it, no one likes being told how to do their job by someone who has not or cannot do the job they do.</p>\n<p>In my side work as a consultant and life coach it is essential that I listen to my clients and hear the needs they are telling me and see the needs they are showing me. Convincing people of the needs you see, but they do not is what being a true leader is all about. </p>\n<p>It can take time to lead someone to the needs they do not see, but in your job you have the tools to help show them the right path to the best performance. If you do not have performance and career action plans for each of your direct reports, start writing because you are failing as a leader already.</p>\n<p>Hard truth and I’m not here to wipe your nose, I’m here to make a leader out of you if you can do the work.</p>\n<p><br /></p>",
      "title": "The Road to Leadership: Part 5",
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