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      "title": "Question answered on Musing.io",
      "body": "<a href=\"https://musing.io/q/timsol1990/fkjeh63pq\">View this answer on Musing.io</a>",
      "json_metadata": "{\"app\":\"musing/1.1\",\"appTags\":[\"Question\",\"\"],\"appCategory\":\"Question\",\"appTitle\":\"What types of bad parenting do kids usually never recover from?\",\"appBody\":\"<p>At the point when my dear companion, Troy, was in center school, he once got into a battle. </p><p>His family had moved to a provincial town and he wasn't fitting into the new school. Not exclusively was he the new child, he was additionally a geek. </p><p>His folks were strict and required Troy and his kin to get straight A's. The standard in his home was \\\"straight An's or no Christmas.\\\" </p><p>His folks additionally had a strict standard about not getting into battles. This implies paying little mind to how different children prodded him or what they did, he could never guard himself. </p><p>Troy was tormented perseveringly. </p><p>In spite of the fact that Troy for the most part remained non-contentious, that day, a cohort had made a remark about his sister. He could keep a top on his indignation and dissatisfaction as long as it was coordinated at him. Be that as it may, when his cohort focused on his sister, he couldn't contain himself. </p><p>Troy punched the child and stirred something up. </p><p>At the point when all was said and done, Troy got the child quite great. In any case, he didn't leave away sound. </p><p>Amid the battle, the child figured out how to punch Troy in the face sufficiently hard that one of his teeth experienced his mouth. </p><p>So Troy was sitting in the important's office and he was steaming distraught. He was distraught that the other child didn't go for his stomach. Or then again anyplace else. Anyplace else however his face. </p><p>In the event that the other child had punched him elsewhere, at that point possibly he wouldn't drain. Furthermore, wow Louise, since he was dying, he was going to miss the math test that they were having right then and there. </p><p>While Troy was stressing over missing his math test, an instructor came and revealed to him that they had called his folks to come and get him. </p><p>Troy burst into tears. </p><p>The instructor support Troy, feeling that he was crying from the agony he was in. That would bode well, since he was staying there with blood pouring from a slice that went clear through his face. </p><p>Be that as it may, Troy was not in any manner disturbed about his injury. Truth be told, he hadn't generally seen the agony. He was crying since they had called his folks, he would get stuck in an unfortunate situation with his folks for battling. </p><p>In this midwestern town, kids got into battles all the time in school. They didn't for the most part call the guardians except if it was not kidding. Troy hadn't seen himself in the mirror and truly hadn't enlisted how terrible his injury was. He figured he would return to class after he got tidied up. </p><p>Troy's folks were strict to the point that his thirteen-year-old personality could just concentrate on their standards while he was draining everywhere with a one inch slice through his face. </p><p>Everything he could consider was the test he missed, until it was supplanted by the greater stress that his folks would be incensed that he got into a battle. </p><p>Troy wound up getting join and the slice in his face in the end recuperated, leaving a scar. Be that as it may, the obvious scar failed to measure up with the enthusiastic scar Troy's folks had left. </p><p>As it were, his folks achieved what they needed. He was a hotshot understudy. He got straight An's and proceeded to graduate with double degrees from a best college. </p><p>However, Troy was broken in manners nobody never foreseen. </p><p>As a grown-up, Troy got himself powerless to state no to his managers. He turned into a compulsive worker, exorbitantly anxious to please. He would whip himself if his supervisor was under 110% glad. He saw any kind of remarks or evaluate viewing his work as disappointment. </p><p>Troy had conveyed his parent's tenets into adulthood, into a reality where the guidelines don't work. </p><p>In reality, supervisors will dependably have remarks or demand changes. In this present reality where things are regularly a consistent, moving focus, there's no such thing as 100%, An, or additional credit. </p><p>Despite the fact that Troy deliberately comprehends this, Troy can't change his instinctive responses. Decades later, the programming he got from terrible child rearing is as yet running solid in his intuitive. It's straight An's or no Christmas.</p>\",\"appDepth\":2,\"appParentPermlink\":\"fkjeh63pq\",\"appParentAuthor\":\"timsol1990\",\"musingAppId\":\"aU2p3C3a8N\",\"musingAppVersion\":\"1.1\",\"musingPostType\":\"answer\"}"
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    {
      "parent_author": "timsol1990",
      "parent_permlink": "f34ydrkfw",
      "author": "akaola",
      "permlink": "fkdhkukfq",
      "title": "Question answered on Musing.io",
      "body": "<a href=\"https://musing.io/q/timsol1990/f34ydrkfw\">View this answer on Musing.io</a>",
      "json_metadata": "{\"app\":\"musing/1.1\",\"appTags\":[\"Question\",\"\"],\"appCategory\":\"Question\",\"appTitle\":\"Do fathers really need to be in the delivery room during the birth of their children? Is there really any need for them to do so? Is it okay to choose not to witness it?\",\"appBody\":\"<p>YES.</p><p>I'm going to tell you something about my life and I hope you read this. I hope you remember this. And I hope it means something to you.</p><p>I am not married. I do not have children. I am a daughter. And I am a sister.</p><p>I will tell you why I believe I may be a little bit qualified to answer this question and you may decide otherwise but I hope you listen first.</p><p>When I was eleven years old my parents told me and my younger brother and sister that they were pregnant with a fourth child. First of all, we all thought this was hilarious. I was eleven, my brother was 8 and my sister was 5. My mom was 40 and my dad was 41. This was NOT a planned pregnancy. My parents were the biggest pranksters on the planet and we flat out did not believe them. It took them two weeks to convince us they weren't joking around.</p><p>I was a very emotionally mature child. I have been told by more people than I can ever count that I am \\\"an old soul\\\" for various different reasons depending on what that means to them. I was fascinated by babies from birth. When my first brother was born when I was three I was obsessed with him. I didn't let him out of my sight and wanted to be near him all the time. I changed my sister's diapers when I was six. SIX! I wanted to be around babies all the time. I was very shy as a child but if smaller children were around I would drop everything and want to be near them and take care of them.</p><p>At the time my mother was a high school phys Ed teacher (and therefore sex Ed) and math teacher and my father was the director of a men's home for recovering addicts. To be frank I think they were terrified they were raising a potential teen pregnancy case despite my crippling shyness.</p><p>Their solution?? I was to witness my youngest brother being born.</p><p>INSTANT BIRTH CONTROL!!</p><p>To be fair, I highly doubt they would have done this with any other child. Like I said, I was a very mature child. I had also skipped a grade in school and would be entering high school a year early. They were afraid of many things.</p><p>Let the experience begin.</p><p>As my mom's pregnancy progressed I learned about everything that was happening with her body and went to many doctor's appointments and ultrasounds. I watched birthing videos ad nauseum and chose one of my mom's closest girlfriends to accompany me into the birthing room in case I were to vomit or pass out etc. The last thing anyone needed was to worry about me when they should be taking care of my mom. And dad's attention needed to be with my mom too.</p><p>My little brother was born on my 12th birthday. My sister's birthday is the next day. Those are the two best birthday presents I have ever received.</p><p>I was in the delivery room the entire time and it was hands down the most profound, beautiful, miraculous experience of my entire life. It was also the first time I ever heard my mom swear. It was one of the few times I ever saw my dad cry. Seeing my mom's vagina I could have done without but here we are. I was the first one to see my brother's face - it sounds so weird considering what I had to be looking at but I think I was a pretty unique kid and I was honestly so lost in the astonishing miracle that is birth that I totally forgot everything else.</p><p>MY MOM IS MY FUCKING HERO!!!</p><p>To know that she did that not once, but FOUR times blows my mind to this day. And to see the love and pride in my father's eyes as he looked back and forth from her to me is something I will never EVER forget in my whole entire life.</p><p>I held my hand over my dad's and we cut the umbilical cord together. He cried like the baby in his arms and I have never been so happy in my whole life.</p><p>You NEED to share that moment with your wife. With your child. It will change you forever. It will change you for the better.</p><p>My brother is twelve years younger than me. We should have nothing in common. We live in different cities for most of the year. We text and talk almost every day. I attribute that in large part to the fact that I witnessed him coming into this world. I felt that bond intensely.</p><p>You created that child. You need to be there to welcome that child into the world and let them know they are safe and that you will always be there for them.</p><p>You need to be there for your wife and let her know that you will always be there for her.</p><p>My dad died exactly three years later. Two weeks to the day after my fifteenth birthday. I was holding his hand when he died. I told him it was okay. That I would be okay. That we would be okay. That he did a good job. That he did such a good job that we would be just fine and he could let go. He was allowed. He had been there for us and now we were there for him. He never missed any of our birthdays. He never missed any of our events. He coached our sports. He came to our assemblies and our school shows. He never missed anything in our lives.</p><p>He waited until after our birthdays before he would go. Once again, he was there.</p>\",\"appDepth\":2,\"appParentPermlink\":\"f34ydrkfw\",\"appParentAuthor\":\"timsol1990\",\"musingAppId\":\"aU2p3C3a8N\",\"musingAppVersion\":\"1.1\",\"musingPostType\":\"answer\"}"
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      "parent_permlink": "pk4wdrkfw",
      "author": "akaola",
      "permlink": "fk9s3u3pq",
      "title": "Question answered on Musing.io",
      "body": "<a href=\"https://musing.io/q/timsol1990/pk4wdrkfw\">View this answer on Musing.io</a>",
      "json_metadata": "{\"app\":\"musing/1.1\",\"appTags\":[\"Question\",\"\"],\"appCategory\":\"Question\",\"appTitle\":\"How did you feel when you discovered your child was disabled?\",\"appBody\":\"<p>Furious. Liable. Alarmed. </p><p>I went through 16+ hours attempting to drive this child out. She wasn't having it and begun to hint at pain, so they completed a crisis C-segment. She was at long last conceived at 2am. Her father and I knew promptly something was off. She cried, however it was definitely not a hearty cry that you would expect with an APGAR score of 9– 10. When she was conveyed to us, you could see that she was just utilizing her left arm for anything. When she drank from a container, all the equation came spilling out the correct side of her mouth. We were informed that it was \\\"in-utero\\\" situating… .essentially they were proposing that she was situated on her correct side in the belly and thusly was not used to using that side of her body and that it would address itself throughout a couple of days. We just knew better… gut intuition, EMT preparing (a little learning is a hazardous thing), whatever it was, we simply were sure there was more to it. </p><p>The specialists passed us over and said we were blowing up. The medical caretakers endeavored to comfort us, yet guaranteed us that they would watch out when they took her from the room (she was conceived before the times of living in). Amid move change (when nursing staff changes) while they were giving notes about her, when all of a sudden she began seizing. All things considered, unmistakably that wasn't typical. They paged the accessible as needs be specialist, who promptly required a CT check. In the interim, the attendants came in to reveal to me what was happening and gave personal time to rapidly call her father and have him returned to the clinic. It was most likely about 11pm around evening time. He landed inside 20 minutes and not long after they gave us a fast opportunity to see her before they took her up for the CT filter. From that point she was moved to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). In what appeared hours, yet in actuality was just around 30 minutes, we were visited by the available to come back to work specialist who had the unsavory assignment of disclosing to us that our little girl had included a huge stroke inside the previous day or somewhere in the vicinity. </p><p>I was so frantic at all the specialists. They had everything except called us weirdos. This was over 20 years prior and they were no genuine accord on how she would passage. The obstetrician that had been treating me in High Risk Clinic was brought in when they found the stroke. His clarified that we ought to take a gander at setting her some place on the grounds that with the seriousness of the stroke she had, she could never have the capacity to walk, talk or have any sort of important life. He additionally included that doing this rapidly would be ideal, so we wouldn't get joined to her. That person I'm sure was very much cheerful to have the neonatologist assume responsibility after, in my despondency, I raged, raved, and shouted at him to … \\\"get his 'swearword loaded' ass out of my room and to never return\\\". The shouting I did was no uncertainty heard everywhere throughout the floor where resting new mothers were no uncertainty stirred from the last rest they would get in the following 18 years. </p><p>From that point I felt only blame. I ought to have pushed the specialists to abandon the vaginal conveyance. I ought to have realize something was turning out badly. It was on the grounds that I was asthmatic and had denied her of oxygen. I wore the wrong shading to the medical clinic. It was completely the entirety of my blame. I had fizzled her and she wasn't even two days old. While I don't feel that dimension of blame any longer, it has never entirely left. </p><p>Frightened soaked in after we had recent days in the NICU. I had a really smart thought what this was costing us. We had protection yet there was a top on the arrangement and I was sure we were going to make it inside two or three years and afterward what? We were at that point battling monetarily for the nuts and bolts - lease, sustenance, and so forth. The sort of hospital expenses that would have been accumulated dealing with a youngster with these necessities was going to far surpass what we could bear. Each time she had another seizure or her breathing impeded or her oxygen level achieved unsuitable dimensions, I thought without a doubt she wasn't going to make it. There were wires and sounds and huge amounts of startling things in that place. I couldn't hold her for the initial couple of days. I needed to leave the medical clinic without her. It was desolation. </p><p>We've been to damnation and back a few hundred times over with her, however she stayed at home until she was 21. She presently lives in a gathering home barely a hour from me. She strolls, talks (as often as possible to an extreme degree excessively), sustains herself and fortunately had a ton of specialists, advisors, family and companions who never abandoned this child. Her life has been definitely not unspoiled, yet she's here and all things considered a glad young woman who needs to be much the same as you and me. For the record - now and then despite everything she scares me :)</p>\",\"appDepth\":2,\"appParentPermlink\":\"pk4wdrkfw\",\"appParentAuthor\":\"timsol1990\",\"musingAppId\":\"aU2p3C3a8N\",\"musingAppVersion\":\"1.1\",\"musingPostType\":\"answer\"}"
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      "parent_author": "timsol1990",
      "parent_permlink": "fke8dr3fw",
      "author": "akaola",
      "permlink": "fkpunrkfq",
      "title": "Question answered on Musing.io",
      "body": "<a href=\"https://musing.io/q/timsol1990/fke8dr3fw\">View this answer on Musing.io</a>",
      "json_metadata": "{\"app\":\"musing/1.1\",\"appTags\":[\"Question\",\"\"],\"appCategory\":\"Question\",\"appTitle\":\"In parenting, how strict is too strict?\",\"appBody\":\"<p>We should tally a portion of the ways: </p><p>When you decline to give your tyke a solitary particle of protection, showing them rather to be subtle and ceaselessly suspicious, you are excessively strict. </p><p>Our home was not permitted to have any locks. There were times my dad would abruptly jump into my room amidst the night, tear separated my assets searching for arbitrary implicating proof, and after that storm off leaving the room in chaos. </p><p>My PCs and cellphones had key-lumberjacks on them to screen the majority of my passwords and correspondence with the outside world. </p><p>I since quite a while ago presumed he had caretaker cams in the house because of the reality he would simply know things he should not be knowing (and that I hadn't composed.) </p><p>When you screen each and every media thing your tyke expends inspired by a paranoid fear of hostile to religious promulgation or dynamic contemplations, you are excessively strict. </p><p>The majority of the music I tuned in to and books I purchased must be pre-affirmed, and most sources without a Christian message were generally dismissed. I wasn't permitted to peruse Harry Potter nor Lord of the Rings since \\\"enchantment that didn't originate from God should along these lines originate from Satan.\\\" </p><p>[Edit to add] They appropriated my Pokemon Red, Blue, and Yellow diversions for Gameboy Color path once upon a time in the wake of getting some answers concerning the \\\"Clairvoyant\\\" Pokemon and expecting they were Satanic, regardless of my dissents. I covertly purchased more duplicates on two separate events previously having those taken as well. </p><p>At the point when deferentially contradicting conclusions and innocent missteps are taken as an individual assault and additionally proof of your kid's center good failings, you are too entirely smothering their entitlement to basic idea and the opportunity to be vindicated. </p><p>Regardless of how cautiously I endeavored to state a contradiction, I was closed down with allegations of \\\"affront\\\" because of \\\"scrutinizing his position.\\\" Whenever my sentiment varied from his, I was named as \\\"arguing\\\" and alloted corrective outcomes. </p><p>Any bombing on my part, be it enormous or little, for example, neglecting to complete an errand—was met with a quick, violently acidic tirade with the supposition that my deficiency was purposeful and preemptively intended to show disdain toward him. He supported individual assaults utilizing anticipated character defects; \\\"tricky\\\" and \\\"manipulative bitch\\\" were specific top choices, yet I've been called each name in any event once. </p><p>When you uphold a check in time without sensible special cases and your youngster is 18 or more seasoned, you are too strict viewing their opportunity as an equivalent grown-up under the law. </p><p>At 22, when I went out for a motion picture that finished a couple of minutes after my 11pm check in time—notwithstanding approaching my mother for authorization previously, however looking back it shows up they didn't impart—he called the cops on me, and a while later, debilitated my cellphone administration as discipline. </p><p>At the point when the discipline is 5x more regrettable than the wrongdoing, you are excessively strict. </p><p>When I set out to \\\"humiliate him\\\" by asking his quack \\\"specialist\\\" (who'd really had her restorative permit disavowed) for friend explored hotspots for her silly cases constant Lyme Disease was the \\\"concealed\\\" reason for each other infirmity and transmissible through human contact and mist concentrates—which means most people alive would have it—my father showed me out of the vehicle onto the shoulder of the turnpike in a state we don't live in, abandoning me to stroll for a considerable length of time in the Nevada desert heat. </p><p>The key thing about strictness and dictatorship is that they very effectively revert into straight-up psychological mistreatment. </p><p>While there is certifiably not an unmistakable line, I'm genuinely sure my dad abandoned it miles in the back view reflect. </p><p>I additionally think that its interesting how these strategies formed me into the definite inverse individual he needed me to be—an excessively suspicious, well-perused, rationalist basic mastermind who thoroughly enjoys disrupting strange norms and dismissing all maltreatment of power.</p>\",\"appDepth\":2,\"appParentPermlink\":\"fke8dr3fw\",\"appParentAuthor\":\"timsol1990\",\"musingAppId\":\"aU2p3C3a8N\",\"musingAppVersion\":\"1.1\",\"musingPostType\":\"answer\"}"
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      "parent_author": "timsol1990",
      "parent_permlink": "fk5wlrkpq",
      "author": "akaola",
      "permlink": "pk3s26kfq",
      "title": "Question answered on Musing.io",
      "body": "<a href=\"https://musing.io/q/timsol1990/fk5wlrkpq\">View this answer on Musing.io</a>",
      "json_metadata": "{\"app\":\"musing/1.1\",\"appTags\":[\"Question\",\"\"],\"appCategory\":\"Question\",\"appTitle\":\"Is it true that even if genius people only have kids with other genius people, their children will still regress to mean intelligence?\",\"appBody\":\"<p>Give me a chance to disclose to you a story. </p><p>An and E were both extremely savvy individuals. A had an IQ of 153, and 2 PhDs, one in human science and one in brain research. E was an author and craftsman with an IQ of 146, and she composed numerous papers and articles on business technique. </p><p>In September 2000, An and E had a little girl. </p><p>Their little girl, named J, was shrewd. Like her mom, she adored composition and won numerous honors. When she was 15, she previously had 2 of her books distributed. She began perusing at a wonderfully early age (2 years of age - most kids begin perusing at 6 or 7). She had an IQ of 149 and was an imaginative vidertuoso and always made aesthetic and scholarly artful culminations. </p><p>In March 2003, An and E had a child. </p><p>Their child was additionally named J, however how about we call him Jay for the good of convenience. Jay was a numerical virtuoso and more intelligent than even his sister and his folks, having an IQ of 165. At 8 years old, he beat the national chess champion in 4 minutes and 36 seconds. Because of his photographic memory, he effectively scored a 100 (and now and again progressively because of additional credit) on each test and test easily. He never purchased a number cruncher to class since he could work out the totals considerably quicker than the mini-computer could. </p><p>Floated by the enjoyment of their two virtuoso kids, An and E chose to have another kid. In June 2005, they had a girl named L. Since their first kid had been a scholarly virtuoso and their second a numerical virtuoso, perhaps their third would be a logical virtuoso and proceed to win a Nobel Prize. </p><p>In any case, L was not brilliant. An and E had L go for an IQ test, where she scored a measly 107. She advanced at a boringly normal pace, figuring out how to peruse at the normal age (7) figuring out how to compose at the normal age (8) and figuring out how to do math at the normal age (6). </p><p>Regardless of how hard she attempted in class, she would never get a 100 on her tests like Jay. Regardless of how hard she attempted to learn, she would never make excellent illustrations like J. </p><p>L did her best to make up for her absence of insightfulness, considering hard and going up against the same number of after-school activites as she could. An and E supported her, disclosing to her that it didn't make a difference in the event that she was awful at math and couldn't comprehend the inward operations of language, however she read reality in their faces: It would at present be better on the off chance that you were savvy. </p><p>J and Jay cherished their younger sibling, yet L could recognize the pity easily at whatever point she attempted to finish homework or compose an article. Once, when L couldn't complete an undertaking in view of all her after-school activites and surrendered herself to missing the due date, J snuck into her room while she was sleeping and wrapped up the paper for her in ten minutes. At the point when L discovered, she didn't address J for seven days. </p><p>L experienced for her entire life the nosy inquiries of instructors and companions asking why she wasn't as shrewd as whatever remains of her family. She never talked up amid the philosphical and logical discussions her family had during supper since she couldn't comprehend what they were discussing. L felt a profound disgrace at whatever point she saw one of her kin easily finish something she had worried over. She could feel the peaceful dissatisfaction of her folks at whatever point she fizzled a test one of her kin had taken ten minutes to think about for. </p><p>L turned out to be extremely focused and worn ragged. She had no companions since she invested all her energy contemplating or at after-school exercises. She didn't have any leisure activities since she never at any point considered having something many refer to as available time. </p><p>I was L. I'm still L, and my life has dependably been similar to this since I was unfortunate enough to have the brilliant quality avoid an age in me. So to answer your inquiry, truly, in some cases savvy individuals have inept children, and that is only the manner in which it is.</p>\",\"appDepth\":2,\"appParentPermlink\":\"fk5wlrkpq\",\"appParentAuthor\":\"timsol1990\",\"musingAppId\":\"aU2p3C3a8N\",\"musingAppVersion\":\"1.1\",\"musingPostType\":\"answer\"}"
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