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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "permlink": "steemitboard-notify-amirr-20191008t204344000z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Congratulations @amirr! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@amirr/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@amirr) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=amirr)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-badge-is-ready\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRUkELn2Fd13pWFkmWU2wBMMx39EBX5V3cHBEZ2d7f3Ve/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-badge-is-ready\">The new SteemFest⁴  badge is ready</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "Mein gespeicherter Ort\n16:09 \nMoonlight, through the trees' branches, sings its songs of absolute silence on the wet leaves lying on the ground like years ago, million years ago. He comes with his stuff in his hands: Fruit wooden case, three cans of beer and a bottle of whisky. First he puts them down. Then he stares at the tree and weltered in themselves beauty, takes a photo of the beauty. Three words, an act of absolute art, a splendid knotted black-black noose, three beautiful petite flowerpots, orange, blue, green and he puts them delicately on the casket, then the prints of his insurance white and clean. Then and beside the prints, his passport, all the money he could draw from his accounts, his cards, the credit, und seine Studentenausweis, seine Studentenausweis, Studentenausweis, ausweis, ausweis… weis echoes wein, vein, clocks Quentin, clocks. But now, leaned back at the tree, that he has opened the seals of slumber, his tongue and lips go flaccid as his pints of bitter reach down his belly and his right hand moves to pick the bottle to his mouth and swill, neither any sign of his possible pasts or swigs, nor any picture of the possible trace of its future tracks. It's rushing for the end, it's rushing to its own roped-line end, Ende gut alles gut. It does end well, the tree's branch doesn't break and the green pot does bring the void beneath his feet and does roll over close to the pints. The reset phone with its only picture and its one saved number, rings and as rain starts pouring, sings its only piece of music, Symphony of Sorrowful Songs, Symphony of silence and death; so he called it. But the orchestra plays only for 45 seconds because that's how long it takes to leave a missed call. And so, the dangling body ignores the orchestra's forty-five-seconds of long slow crescendo all night long. He knows it's just about time for the audience to become all ears.",
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      "body": "With your big lips and your questions about everything I knew from the moment you came in. I knew you had come for my husband. For him. For the one you knew on facebook. For this doctor. This asshole translator. I've seen him working on Derrida. Like working on my face, my nose. You've come for him and now you're taking a photo with me and our son.Your next move is to put it on facebook. He says beauty is to be praised no matter who or what it is. You call him brother. But we all know. This moment you put it on facebook and from my look and your grin they'll know it. I'll make him lose me. I'm just waiting for my son to grow up. Two more years. He shouldn't know it. Now you start complimenting my gorgeous eyes but I see it on your lips, I see it in your trembling hands when you're taking the book out, signing it and giving it to me instead of him. I see it in your eyes when you know I'll make him feel he can't satisfy me anymore. When I tell him I'd been pretending all these years. When he gets up and goes to the living room and think of tomorrows and games he'd love to play on facebook. I see it in my voice when I say no I will no.",
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      "body": "Next word, next sentence. Is it an image? Seems to be a person, a man, standing in the light, not knowing what his next action must be. He looks out of the shed, it's horrible, he can't see nothing but the dark. Next thing he will do is sheer inertia. Walk and see the trees, ceiling the long alleys where time is a river flowing out of nowhere. Next action. See. He, who is an old tired bum, is getting drowned. The last man he is. Now he is out of the shed, in the dark. He is 7000 years old. He gets back to the shed where light is 20 minutes old. She is buried in the dark where darkness is 20 years older than them. I get out of time to see where they are. They’re in the void. Next action. Impossible. Next word possible. The trees are moving sideways. The river is flowing into nowhere.",
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      "body": "Hey man, how's things? Long time no speak!\n\nI'm finally getting back into steemit and making some attempt to make it pay... Found something that is relevant for you...\n\nhttps://steemit.com/poetrycontest/@terrycraft/steemit-poetry-contest-9-winners-of-8\n\nAlso, just search \"writing competition\" or \"poetry competition\" and see what that throws up...\n\nAnd, for some help getting upvotes, try following the instructions in this post, I did for my last post and got a decent upvote from it...\n\nhttps://steemit.com/minnowbooster/@ilyastarar/understanding-minnowbooster-how-to-use-minnowbooster-7-minnowbooster-services-you-should-know-about\n\nGood luck, man, keep in touch and keep writing :D",
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      "title": "I could not any longer...",
      "body": "It seems like yesterday. In the middle of the night, they freed me. What didn’t matter to me was where I was. It was Parkway though. All around me was dark. I heard the sound of water, peacefully passing by. I put my feet in the water. I thought this was life and all the rest was literally nothing. I sat at the stream bank and looked at water kink around my shin and thought I was finally free, free to sit there all night and free to walk home. I sat there till dawn and then I took a cab home. I had nothing with me except my underwear in a plastic bag which as sun rose I let the water took away. Then I stood up feeling old but with more energy than ever. I walked all the way down to Enghelab Street and watched the city wake up; get haunted with its own desires, tied in them, and when I finally got home it was eleven. Father opened the little green door. He hugged me and dragged me in the yard. We were silent. He told me to wait and ran into the kitchen. I never forget how mother’s eyes came out of darkness in the doorway but can’t remember the rest until after I entered what was once my room. It was no more my room. There was no book there. I could guess where they were, so I went to the yard. Mother said that they’re not there, that she had not buried them and that she had burned them. This was when I felt hopeless at once. For me, who never experienced love, her only picture, hidden in Akhavan’s Winter, was the only trophy, a trophy which was now burnt. \nThe days after, I spent as much time as I could with mother and father though all the while I thought about the streets and what went on there. And then one day as we were having breakfast mother asked me why I was worried? I’m not, I said. But she continued. Go out, see what people are doing. You won’t miss us more than when you were in prison. \nI went out that day. It was like I had never been away. I found out how much I had been preoccupied with them already that nothing was missed. So with two books I got back home. It was sundown and father was sitting in front of his aquarium staring at the fish mother was feeding. I tried to look at them from their eyes but instead, what I saw was the black hole of the mouth of the fish stuck to its glass walls. There she was; transformed as a fish. She was not the picture my interrogator showed me: naked with the trace of noose on her neck. She was done with god, done with power, with religion and with Moloch finally. It was me at last, gazing at life, facing the hours and the walls. These walls which now I am giving another birth to. \nWhen they died, in a short time after we had moved to Gisha, I started covering all the walls. Mother died because of a heart attack while she was asleep and father died out of heart attack two months later, staring at his aquarium. I had just opened the bookshop. It was summer 1988. Of my friends no one was left, they were either hanged, killed, murdered -whatever you may call it- or had fled to other fucking countries. I stood in the middle of the street one day and all I could see was myself standing somewhere on the deserted street. Gone was the soul of the world and gone was everyone. And I felt the teeth of that lion eating my body, starting from my hands. Words of Ginsberg’s Kaddish started eating my hand right from my fingers up to the wrist, up to my arm until my body was an empty corpse. I hardly understood what he said but there was the echo of Shostakovich’s eighth string quartet in the empty room I carried everywhere with me. That empty room once Kafka wrote about. I was broken, that I confessed while I sleepwalked back to my bookshop. Somebody had left a painting of a cellist. I took it out of the shelf, on the books and sat on my wooden stool. There was something about it, something unreal yet more real than the realistic paintings. 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And now Ulrike is staring at me, dissolving in the darkness behind her, sad-eyed, new companion. \nI could not; I could not any longer –\n the sound of the street, the sound of the birds,\n the sound of tennis balls being lost,\n the fleeing clamor of children, \nthe dance of kites, like bubbles of soap,\n climbing aloft at the tip of a stem of string,\n and the wind, the wind, as if panting at the bottom of love making’s deepest dark moments,\n pressed upon the walls\n of the silent citadel of my confidence\n and through the ancient fissures \ncalled my heart by name",
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