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      "body": "站在对方的立场想象，往往可以了解如何解决问题。\n当我因为工作忙得分身乏术时，通常都会拒绝新客户。因为我真的没有时间，我相信不光是我，很多忙碌的人几乎都一样。这种时候，大部分委托者都会说：“太遗憾了，希望下次有机会合作。”双方的交谈便画下了句点。但每当我看到一度遭到拒绝就放弃的人，都会感到不解，纳闷他们“为什么这样就放弃了”。\n我自己拒绝别人，却有这样的想法，似乎有点矛盾，可能有人觉得我很矫情。但遇到这种情况时，我往往会很沮丧，觉得“原来对方并不是那种想和我合作的人”。因为，如果我拜托别人，即使被拒绝一两次，也不会认为自己“被拒绝了”。无论是以前还是现在，我都认为“拒绝才是一切的开始”。\n我很乐意听到别人说“no”。当对方严词拒绝时，我会觉得“现在、这里才是真正的起点”。真正的沟通最好从“no”开始。假设一分钟前我对认识的女生说：“我喜欢你，请你和我交往。”当她皱起眉头，用不悦的声音说“no”，我就有机会说接下来的这句话：“请你先了解我，再决定要不要和我交往。我们来聊一聊吧。”这才是我真正想要说的话。因为我觉得对方了解我之后，再和我交往比较理想。\n如果有奇迹发生，那个女孩子一口答应：“好啊，我也想和你交往。”双方之后的交往很可能变得表面而肤浅。我只是内心被她的想象所吸引，她也只是内心被我产生的幻想所吸引，这种关系固然浪漫，但就像细腻的甜点般容易变质。男女关系往往有例外，但如果是工作的场合，我可以断言，“‘no’是一切沟通的起点”。\n我相信你工作的职场，蔓延着没有“no”的顺畅沟通。假设主管和上司建议了一个和之前不同的方法，“希望这次按这种方式执行”，不喜欢变化是人之常情，遇到这种情况时，通常会觉得“真麻烦”。但是，大部分人都在自己的皮包里藏着顺畅沟通的“成年人工具”，所以十之八九都会回答“yes”。即使不太理解也会回答“yes”；即使意兴阑珊也会回答“yes”；即使内心觉得上司的建议简直莫名其妙，也会回答“yes”；如果对方是上司或前辈，更会毫不犹豫地说“yes”。\n但是，这种表面肤浅的沟通能够让双方成长吗？真的能够一起攻克难关吗？如果立刻说“yes”，等于剥夺了不同意见者说明、表达自己心意的机会，很可能在一知半解的状况下执行企划，最后很容易搞砸。这种结局未免太悲哀，太令人难过了。既然这样，干脆抛开所谓的“成年人的工具”。\n向对方提出建议是，如果对方说“no”，不妨认为是机会，彻底说明白自己的心意。和对方深入交谈，直到对方认同你的意见。遭到拒绝时，不要轻言放弃，只要在提案前做好“no才是起点”的心理准备，内心就会涌现勇气。相反的，如果对方提出不符合你期待的提议，或是莫名其妙的指示时，千万不要表面上很干脆地回答“yes”却在背地里抱怨，必须改正这种坏习惯。当然，也不能像小孩子一样一个劲儿地说“no”，必须同时具备倾听的雅量，“no”才能打开深入沟通的大门。![u=595998414,2966324889&fm=27&gp=0.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmP53XesuWfyw8ovXxZXEm3JqBnamVpLNRSPdJyowXr3hp/u%3D595998414%2C2966324889%26fm%3D27%26gp%3D0.jpg)",
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