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      "body": "![177020247.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmPhtdZ1Q7AAXuH5MfpjxXW4LWzKq3tNrapKx6Mg1MdDPC/177020247.jpg)\nOnce a Lawyer was travelling by train from Liverpool to Manchester. \n\nWhen the train started, He was traveling alone in the business class.\n\nSome time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite seat! \nThe Lawyer was pleasantly Happy🙂\n\nThe lady kept smiling at him...\nThis made him even Happier ☺☺\n\nThen she went and sat next to him.... \nhe was bubbling with Joy😊😍�\n\nShe then leant towards him and whispered in his ear...\n\n\"Hand over all your cash, cards and mobile phone to me , else I will shout loudly and tell everybody that you are  harassing and misbehaving with me\" \nThe Lawyer stared blankly at her 🙄\n\nHe took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote \" I am sorry, I can not hear or speak... Please write on this paper whatever you want to say\"\n\nThe lady wrote everything that she said earlier and gave it back to him! \n\nThe Lawyer took her note, kept it nicely in his pocket...\ngot up and told her in clear tones...\nNow shout & scream !!\n\nMoral of the story : \n\nDOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT😜\n\nLawyers are the best!",
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      "author": "elombah",
      "body": "![twins-in-the-womb.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXKLM5RMZpPgB8UsrTazmB3QAZVbJZUCCXcnwmXhG8zEp/twins-in-the-womb.jpg)\nIn a mother’s womb were two babies. \nOne baby asked the other: \n“Do you believe in life after delivery?”\nThe other replied, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.”\n“Nonsense” said the first. \n“There is no life after delivery. \nWhat kind of life would that be?”\nThe second said, “I don’t know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths. Maybe we will have other senses that we can’t understand now.”\nThe first replied, “That is absurd. \nWalking is impossible. And eating with our mouths? Ridiculous! The umbilical cord supplies nutrition and everything we need. But the umbilical cord is so short. Life after delivery is to be logically excluded.”\nThe second insisted, “Well I think there is something and maybe it’s different than it is here. Maybe we won’t need this physical cord anymore.”\nThe first replied, “Nonsense. And moreover if there is life, then why has no one ever come back from there? Delivery is the end of life, and in the after - delivery there is nothing but darkness and silence and oblivion. It takes us nowhere.”\n“Well, I don’t know,” said the second, “but certainly we will meet Mother and she will take care of us.”\nThe first replied “Mother? \nYou actually believe in Mother? \nThat’s laughable. If Mother exists then where is She now?”\nThe second said, “She is all around us. We are surrounded by her. We are of Her. It is in Her that we live. Without Her this world would not and could not exist.”\nSaid the first: “Well I don’t see Her, so it is only logical that She doesn’t exist.”\nTo which the second replied, “Sometimes, when you’re in silence and you focus and listen, you can perceive Her presence, and you can hear Her loving voice, calling down from above.”\nMay be this was one of the best explanations to the concept of God.",
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      "author": "elombah",
      "body": "Have youever listened to any Master of ceremony crack their usual jokes at wedding receptions?\n\nIt goes thus:..  \"who should pay bills or take care of the children? Who is to pay school fees of children? Who should toil to provide for the home? The whole audience shouts.... \"Daddy!\".\n\nWho should the child buy a car for after graduation? The women answer loudly... \"mother!!!\"\n\nWho should be invited to America if a child is rich and works abroad? ... \"Mother of course\", roared the women in the audience.\n\nWho should die first among the parents? \"Daddy!\"... all the women in the hall screamed....\n\nTruly, such is the fate of an African man.... Are we not born losers?\n\nWhen a lady is single and has four problems and her fiancee has six problems, immediately they get married, the man's problems become automatically ten (10) as the man immediately starts to carry the family problems.... \n\nMen are made to struggle to take care of family problems, children's education, home maintenance, and virtually all provisions of life....\n\nDue to these challenges and unending struggle, men tend to wear out faster and probably die early as a result of stress...\n\n...hence, it is important for men to ensure that they don't allow their wives to push them into unsustainable family commitments and expensive lifestyle that he knows he cannot afford or cope with in the long run...\n\n....if you do, you run the risk of stress and continuous family unrest.  Ensure you take right decisions at all times... do not kill yourself.\n\nIf you suddenly slump and die, surprisingly, life will continue... be wise and reasonable....\n\nMost men are worn out by the time their children graduate or retiring at same period... all the struggle would have already taken serious tolls on his health and life.... and dies prematurely, leaving Mama alone enjoying. Trust women, they quickly settle down while you are long gone...\n\nBe sensible, never allow your wife to goad you into embarking on long term stress and burden, you can least afford.....\n\nTake note:-\n\nWhen children grow into adulthood, women tend to shift more attention to them at your expense. Infact she is seeing a replacement of you in them...\n\nMen should take care of their health, live and eat well as you may go prematurely if you have been subjecting your life to excessive stress for too long.\n\nIt's even more terrible in marriages under storm. In Yoruba land, our mothers in fact call their male children... \"My husband\". (Oko mi.) So when your son grows to your height and size, with your shoes and clothes matching your son exactly.... your wife gladly starts to feel fulfilled....\n\nAs you get older in your marriage, be careful, and avoid creating rift in your home. Be at peace with your wife and children, if not you are endangering yourself, as you are hardly needed any longer.\n\nKnow that women wax stronger spiritually at old age while men become weaker at old age.\n\nMen should live a good life....... enjoy your life, eat the sweat of your labour when you are still strong....\n\nWhether you like it or not, your wife will outlive you, particularly if you are older than her (barring accident of life) She will be around to live to complete the unfinished  \"assignment\" and consume the balance of the \"dividends of parenthood\".\n\nSo while you are still agile, train your children, take care of your home, but enjoy yourself.... as late evening of life are always unfavourable for men.\n\nA word is enough for the wise!",
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      "author": "lawblake",
      "body": "very heartwarming",
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      "body": "![179707412.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmPMYDTW5bsevvbRxGkfy7ez5TGihJA2ErWbUknwM2Xfac/179707412.jpg)\nOne who loves till you close your eyes, is a Mother.\nOne who loves without an expression in the eyes, is a Father.\n__________\nMother - Introduces you to the world.\nFather - Introduces the world to you.\n_________\nMother : Gives you life\nFather   : Gives you living\n__________\nMother : Makes sure you are not starving.\nFather  : Makes sure you know the value of starving\n__________\nMother : Personifies Care\nFather: Personifies Responsibility\n__________\nMother : Protects you from a fall\nFather : Teaches you to get up from a fall.\n__________\nMother : Teaches you walking.\nFather : Teaches you walk of life\n__________\nMother : Teaches from her own experiences.\nFather : Teaches you to learn from your own experiences.\n__________\nMother :  Reflects Ideology\nFather :  Reflects Reality\n_________\nMother's love is known to you since birth.\nFather's love is known when you become a Father.\n_________\nEnjoy what your father says.\nKeep loving your mother.\n_________\nThis is natural division of labour",
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      "body": "![laugh_400x400.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSbWXNH34saW4B5oBbxJCrnfbuzEypj5mT7t5tgPpi4xv/laugh_400x400.jpg)\nThe Pastor seeing trouble, yelled back: “I am a pastor going to church not a thief”\nThe officer replied: “Please, leave that pastor thing out. Anyway, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car. Bring it.”\nThe Pastor speedily brought out his Bible to prove his honesty and to be freed.\n“Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me.” Said the police man.\nIncredulously, The Pastor opened the recommended text and it reads:\n“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny”\nThe perplexed man of God upon interpretation “QUIETLY” made an “offering” of N500 to his newly found “preacher. ”\nThe Officer collected his bribe and said to the pastor,\n“End of the matter. Go quickly in peace and never argue that policemen collect bribe. We only settle matters quickly and peacefully with all offenders instead of taking them to court to be thrown into prison. It's part of our job.\"\n 😂😂😂😂",
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      "author": "elombah",
      "body": "![jack-1.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRxgsXfhKvXMMAXujj444XkR12qUMEatKJJWbZ3okLoWz/jack-1.jpg)\nJack Ma: Before I founded Alibaba, I invited 24 friends to my house to discuss the business opportunity. \n\nAfter discussing for about two hours, they were still confused — I have to say that I may not have put myself across in a clear manner then. \n\nThe verdict: 23 out of the 24 people in the room told me to drop the idea, for a multitude of reasons, such as: ‘you do not know anything about the internet, and more prominently, you do not have the start-up capital for this’ etc etc.\n\nThere was only one friend (who was working in a bank then) who told me, “If you want to do it, just try it. If things don’t work out the way you expected it to, you can always revert back to what you were doing before.” \n\nI pondered upon this for one night, and by the next morning, I decided I would do it anyway, even if all of the 24 people opposed the idea.\n\nWhen I first started Alibaba, I was immediately met with strong opposition from family and friends. Looking back, I realized that the biggest driving force for me then was not my confidence in the Internet and the potential it held, but more of this: \n\n“No matter what one does, regardless of failure or success, the experience is a form of success in itself.” You have got to keep trying, and if it doesn’t work, you always can revert back to what you were doing before.\n\nAs with this quote by T.E. Lawrence – “All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream in the dark recesses of the night awake in the day to find all was vanity. But the dreamers of day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, and make it possible.”\n\nJack Ma: People lose out in life because:\n\n1. Being myopic to opportunity\n2. Looking down on opportunities\n3. Lacking understanding\n4. Failing to act quickly enough\nYou are poor, because you have no ambition.\n\nAmbition is living a life of great ideals; a magnificent goal in life that must be realised.\n\nIn this world, there are things that are deemed unfathomable, but there is nothing in this world that cannot be done. The depth of one’s ambition determines the potential of one’ future.",
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      "author": "timaj",
      "body": "Forgive me if i'm wrong, but is it not the case that the interest rate you receive from putting your money in a bank account is basically your share of the profit that they make from investing it?\n\nOther than that, i agree with the sentiment - if you have time and enough capital, invest it yourself. If not, put it in the bank and they'll invest it for you, and take some of the proceeds  - you'll get a smaller return but considering you did literally none of the work, seems like quite a good deal to me. :)",
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      "body": "![download (1).jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmS1NRJQCpKN2muHPPDUarm5yPHrAdJB56AvWjQtsGgrhH/download%20(1).jpg)\nYOU HAVE 2 OPTIONS.\nIt's either u store your money in the bank for safekeeping while the bank invest with your money and make profit unknown to you.\nOR\nYou invest some part of your money in business to make profit for yourself.\nDo you really think your money in your bank account is resting there doing NOTHING???? I guess most of you don't really know what is happening to your money behind close doors.\nThe bank is making serious profit with your money and guess what, they still won't share the profits with you because you are not even aware that they are investing with your money.\nDem say na eye wey see business dey get his own share.\nWhy don't you knowingly invest some part of your money into business and make profit for yourself instead of just keeping all in the bank.",
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      "author": "elombah",
      "body": "@@ -1216,26 +1216,4 @@\n etc.\n-%0A%C2%A9 Christian Onwugbolu\n",
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      "author": "elombah",
      "body": "![20229019_687594644770306_4946376573870042699_n.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXDzAEXAWxQKW4D5NKFL1zmtAHQkzsxpekjo3T6KAxQdi/20229019_687594644770306_4946376573870042699_n.jpg)\n![20155653_687594661436971_2879317892764465900_n.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmR9tANvCnaAV9xCQCYYs5E1SqAm64o74a8G5SKaKmNL3y/20155653_687594661436971_2879317892764465900_n.jpg)\n![20228968_687594711436966_3793333417279174713_n.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmaJA7NA7hHF5FZfjLxwT8WvBDA8MGiRqztCM4QTu3MszJ/20228968_687594711436966_3793333417279174713_n.jpg)\nShe is a housewife, she heard about the piggy bank savings and decided to try it out.\nThis is from N500 from the husband for ice cream, N1000 for recharge cards. She decided to deny herself some of those stuffs and just put the money in her piggy bank.\nShe started the piggy bank saving in December and she has saved about N700,000\nShe intends to use it to start a business. \nShe is going to surprise her hubby with this.\nShe sent me the photos to encourage someone else.\nThis is to all the stay at home wives, you don't have to wait for Oga to open a state of the art business for you. There is a lot you can to do to help yourself, piggy bank savings, small scale business etc.\n© Christian Onwugbolu",
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      "author": "elombah",
      "body": "![14495346_883819801755189_4815035267594123986_n.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcgy7WBzKNyYSjqbdE1d5jxjAH8Tp1T2VBHxbfF79pDuz/14495346_883819801755189_4815035267594123986_n.jpg)\nA rich man looked through his window and saw a poor man picking something from his dustbin ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not poor.\n\nThe poor man looked around and saw a naked man misbehaving on the street ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not mad.\n\nThe mad man looked ahead and saw an ambulance carrying a patient ... He said, Thank GOD am not sick.\n\nThen a sick person in hospital saw a trolley taking a dead body to the mortuary ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not dead.\n\nOnly a dead person cannot thank God. \n\nWhy don't you thank GOD today for all your blessings and for the gift of life ... for another beautiful day.\n\nWhat is LIFE?\nTo understand life better, you have to go to 3 locations :\n\n1. Hospital\n2. Prison \n3. Cemetery\n\nAt the Hospital, you will understand that nothing is more beautiful than HEALTH.\n\n In the Prison, you'll see that FREEDOM is the most precious thing.\n\n At the Cemetery, you will realize that life is worth nothing. The ground that we walk today will be our roof tomorrow.\n\nSad Truth* :  We all come with Nothing and we will go with Nothing ... Let us, therefore, remain humble and be thankful & grateful to God at all times for everything.",
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      "author": "elombah",
      "body": "![14495346_883819801755189_4815035267594123986_n.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcgy7WBzKNyYSjqbdE1d5jxjAH8Tp1T2VBHxbfF79pDuz/14495346_883819801755189_4815035267594123986_n.jpg)\nA rich man looked through his window and saw a poor man picking something from his dustbin ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not poor.\n\nThe poor man looked around and saw a naked man misbehaving on the street ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not mad.\n\nThe mad man looked ahead and saw an ambulance carrying a patient ... He said, Thank GOD am not sick.\n\nThen a sick person in hospital saw a trolley taking a dead body to the mortuary ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not dead.\n\nOnly a dead person cannot thank God. \n\nWhy don't you thank GOD today for all your blessings and for the gift of life ... for another beautiful day.\n\nWhat is LIFE?\nTo understand life better, you have to go to 3 locations :\n\n1. Hospital\n2. Prison \n3. Cemetery\n\nAt the Hospital, you will understand that nothing is more beautiful than HEALTH.\n\n In the Prison, you'll see that FREEDOM is the most precious thing.\n\n At the Cemetery, you will realize that life is worth nothing. The ground that we walk today will be our roof tomorrow.\n\nSad Truth* :  We all come with Nothing and we will go with Nothing ... Let us, therefore, remain humble and be thankful & grateful to God at all times for everything.",
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