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      "body": "For men, the desire to be “good with women” kinda betrays itself, because if you’re looking at someone like they are good with women and you want to know their secret, you’re looking in the wrong place. It’s not some romantic trick or tactic. It’s being naturally good with people, not good with women. Knowing how to talk to people, be interested, enthusiastic, and listen to every kind of person. To be comfortable in your own skin, playfully curious about the world and all the people in it with no goals about what you can get from anyone. You get to experience life and hear people’s stories and relate and watch people come alive when you take interest anyone’s experience - the key is to relax into life and be a part of all of it. Not try to participate for romance. Participate to love people, not to get things from people. To be interested with no attachment to where connection leads or what kind it is. Think of all the connection one can miss out on if you’re only looking for a specific kind. \n\nYou could try to keep some ideas in mind like  not putting any pressure on someone if you want something romantic to happen as though it’s a “key” to romance, but you’d do that anyway if you’re treating them like people instead of targets. Cultivate genuine enthusiasm for people you have no romantic interest in: do whatever it takes to genuinely have no romantic interest or intent unless you’re sure it’s mutual. Better to wait until you light up naturally and simultaneously than to light up and try to convince someone to do the same.  I’m not sure if we can cultivate our attraction style but if it’s possible, I’d hope that everyone could cultivate attraction around mutuality. That if you’re not getting some kind of feedback that someone is interested in you romantically, your interest would be platonic and it would be genuine because one sided things don’t feel right. Like how you can pass by the most beautiful flower and not want to pull it out of the ground, without resenting the flower for not wanting you rip it out of its place. Maybe just move a nearby branch out of the way so it has more sunlight and continue on your journey. \n\nLife is better when we want to hear everyone’s stories; to be curious but not desire anything in particular. To begin with seriously, genuinely, absolutely, and fully not wanting anything from anyone. To see how people open up and give on their own terms when they are given the space and freedom for that to be anything they wish, or nothing at all.",
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      "body": "behaving according to \nbamboozled thought\neven after bamboozles are shown \nto be naught\nmother's of learning\nchurning and churning \nthere's rebel attempts\nbased on false learning\n\nbut her butter's cover\nsmothers simulacrum \nbacking idle axiom \n\nsitting and relaxing mum\nA pink mustache taxi mum \nI think I'm climbing on a bomb\nNot out of anything, I thought \nTickets to a train, I bought \nto another train, I shot \nwhiskey out my noise, I caught \nreflection in a mirror, ought \nTo move differently, than tha \n\nprolapsing rat racing \noutpacing the spacing \nof lines to read between \nself observations stink\nenemy autopilots;  \nthe default way to think \nthought miracles are mere clawing \nfor more comfortable prisons \nwoke me \nsee thee \nnear impossibility \nof being something new \nwithin a culture of breeding \nan exploitable being \nI feel sorry boo boo",
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      "body": "![922515F4-4F3F-4FF7-8352-434AEE30E2C9.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmPegKF9gvDxuDMrz7d27ghpWXvZk8GYzdE3BsFPx8rx63/922515F4-4F3F-4FF7-8352-434AEE30E2C9.jpeg)\n\n“My parents hit me and I turned out ok.” \n\nPossibilities: \n1. you are lying to yourself about how “ok” you turned out. \n2. You’ve settled for just ok instead of turning out amazingly. \n3. You turned out amazingly IN SPITE of abuse, not because of it; you had resources that helped you be resilient and bounce back. \n\nIf you turned out more than just ok, it’s not because of the abuse, it’s because of everything else. Kind relatives, close friends, safe escapes, imaginary worlds, art, music, dancing, singing, nature, spirituality, MANY THINGS CONSPIRED AND WORKED VERY HARD TO PROTECT YOU FROM AS MUCH DEVELOPMENTAL DAMAGE AS POSSIBLE. Don’t ever forget that. Don’t take it for granted and, above all else, don’t use it as an excuse to continue abuse. Violence does not teach others anything but shame and self hatred. \n\nAll it takes is one abusive event and a child will know that it’s “on the table” and could very well live in fear of their primary caregiver for the rest of their developmental years (and/or life). If you have created this dynamic there is room for repair. You can still talk about it and say, “Remember when _____ happened? Well I think even if I’m angry or you do something naughty, it’s not ok to hit and I’m sorry. How about both help each other to never hit anyone ok? Because we don’t want to make anyone feel scared or sad like that. Can you forgive me? Can I have a hug?”\n\nAnd perhaps later in life there is room for a discussion about anger/violence, punitive versus protective use of force and that why martial arts can be a very good discipline. To determine it’s absolutely necessary and know how to establish safety is different from the desire to “teach someone a lesson.” The real lessons are when violence could have been used but the situation was handled without it.\n\nThere is no current evidence to support physical punishment as an effective teaching or child raising method. Speaking as someone who cares for individuals as a profession - abused children will sometimes misbehave and act out but a less commonly known symptom is that they often appear well behaved because they don’t demonstrate any symptoms that are inconveniencing us. Many abusers think they have good kids and say things like “I don’t know how they turned out ok with a parent like me, must be God’s mercy.” In reality, their “good kids” may have severe depression, negative self talk, suicidal ideation, and many other silent symptoms because punishment has taught them to keep quiet and behave. 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      "body": "❤️❤️❤️",
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      "author": "amyinautumn",
      "body": "<3 this is powerful word stuff",
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      "body": "Anytime! I will be lost more prose soon!",
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      "author": "dayleeo",
      "body": ">And no where else in time\nJust on the earth\nWith every particle\nCarefully observing nowness\nAs an anchor to be here\nWhen everywhere else\nWould kill to be my home.\n\nLOVELY! Thank you so much for sharing <3",
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      "body": "@fictions I’m going to say parts of this to myself all day! Love it!",
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