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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "permlink": "steemitboard-notify-hydremg-20190721t164902000z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Congratulations @hydremg! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@hydremg/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@hydremg) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=hydremg)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "permlink": "steemitboard-notify-hydremg-20190624t141814000z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Congratulations @hydremg! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :\n\n<table><tr><td><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@hydremg/posts.png?201906240952\"></td><td>You published more than 10 posts. Your next target is to reach 20 posts.</td></tr>\n</table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@hydremg) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=hydremg)_</sub>\n<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>\n\n\nTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/the-steem-community-has-lost-an-epic-member-farewell-woflhart\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQWnM36SWCPGn98nY83M1ArgweMz5fnovQEp2E4FiDdug/Wolfhart_header.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/the-steem-community-has-lost-an-epic-member-farewell-woflhart\">The Steem community has lost an epic member! Farewell @woflhart!</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemtoolbar/@steemitboard/steemtoolbar-update-display-bug-fixed\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/7CiQEO.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemtoolbar/@steemitboard/steemtoolbar-update-display-bug-fixed\">SteemitBoard - Witness Update</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/do-not-miss-the-coming-rocky-mountain-steem-meetup-and-get-a-new-community-badge\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUphCGZFWgt6bJ1XTtunV7esnwy6bxnGqcLcHAV3NEqnQ/meetup-rocky-mountain.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/do-not-miss-the-coming-rocky-mountain-steem-meetup-and-get-a-new-community-badge\">Do not miss the coming Rocky Mountain Steem Meetup and get a new community badge!</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "So, I totally missed my diary thing... I passed it to an app and then decided to delete it, so it doesn't really matter anymore.\n\nFor these past few days I've felt like Im not being who I want to be at all, but also like there's no way to change that.\n\nI've been interested in music for a few years and thought of taking it seriously subtly, but with each person that told me \"wow, your voice\" or \"your voice sounds like the perfect lead for a rock band\" or a simple \"you know how to sing\" together with the beautiful music I've been finding as years have gone by really made me realize who I want to be.\n\nI'll start using this blog to vent about my frustrated dream and personal pains. I'll mostly express them with little \"songs\" I write every once in a while. I hope they're not bad, Im just trying to convey my feelings somehow.\n\nIf I ever get to sing or become someone I love being, I'll look back on this blog and say time and again \"I did it\". Of course, that's just a dream, as I doubt it'll happen anytime soon.\n\nThank You!",
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      "body": "I wake up\nI feel good\nThen I go with my day\nI rush things\nFinish fast\nAnd get my time away\nSo I think\nAnd I feel\nAnd I feel so wrong\nCause Im not being who I want to become\nThen reality crumbles\nTears start to fall\nI realize my struggles\nAnd I try to keep shut\nSo I keep it as a secret\nOne that does no good\nI go on with my day\nLike anyone would\n\nBeing someone I don’t wanna be\nFeeling a heartache because of me\nBecause of the ambitions that were never supposed to be\n\nWith my hand on my chest\nMy heartbeat on reverse\nI can’t feel my life making any more sense\nSo I get me a room\nAnd I cry till noon\nUntil I decide the cycle will repeat soon\n\nAh ah, the envy of those above me makes a void in my chest\nAnd I try to fill it with leaving but it’s a thing that I can’t avoid\nAnd I try and I try and I try again but at last I won’t succeed\nI might as well become someone’s shadow and disappear\n\nAh ah, the pain that won’t leave my chest alone\nThe guilt of not being someone and the sadness of being alone\nAnd I try and I try and I try again but I realize life won’t go\nSo I might as well go sleep and just tell myself to say no",
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      "body": "Im writing this at 5:00 AM, I was planning on writing it last night but I was very tired, mainly because of school. Still, can't believe it's only Day 2 and Im already starting to forget about my own objectives...\n\nI had around 4 new classes yesterday, only one of them being extremely tiring and making me very sleepy: Mexican History. It's not the teacher's fault, in fact, he's got a very loud voice, I just don't feel attracted to History at all. I'll hope he can develop some interest for me but I'll have to see.\n\nMethodology for Investigation (that sounded better in my head, I promise) was fun, she was a pretty happy, joking teacher and I'd say she could be my \"break class\" by the end of the year, after all, loose teachers like her can get easily lost in storytelling some event of their life for hours, which is totally fun and useful for taking breaks from school stress.\n\nThe other classes were nothing special, in some of them we reviewed the rules (again), in other classes we had a short glimpse of the topics for the school year, it was a pretty chill day for what might be one of the stormiest school years ever, glad I get to rest at the beginning at least.\n\nAs for Volleyball: I wanted to go back to practice today (Wednesday) but apparently we can't use the school yard until Monday so that's a bummer. I actually like Volleyball and now that I go to the Gym I shouldn't get tired too easily, all I need is to show my courage and how much I intend on putting on the line to stay in the team.\n\nNow Im waiting for my parents to wake up for me to leave, even though Dad didn't wake up in time yesterday... Hopefully he does today...\n\nI miss my bed.\n5:51 AM\n- Wednesday, August 15th, 2018 (Writing for Tuesday, August 14th, 2018)",
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      "body": "I started 11th Grade today, not with the best of attitudes to be honest, but I had the idea of using my Steem.it blog as some kind of place to store my experiences and thoughts throughout the school year, I don't know, it might be useful someday or maybe I'll develop my writing skills with this? If my future me is reading this: Hopefully you improved your writing and accomplished that *one thing* we want to do. If not, I hope we're at least happy.\n\nSo, Im 16, again, starting 11th Grade, and I wasn't nervous, I was bummed out really, I had 3 whole months of vacations and returning to school just feels weird, I'll get used to it but I really don't have the motivation right now, Im tired all the time haha...\n\nIm hoping this year won't be a kick in the butt and I'll manage to do whatever I set my head on.\n\nI thought of a pretty interesting phrase today:\n\"Life is like walking in the rain, you have to walk ahead, and even if you fall or trip, the faster you recover the faster you may outrun the rain\"\nI may not have done my best putting this into words but Im trying my best haha.\n\n11:00 PM\n- Monday, August 13th, 2018",
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      "body": "I didn't think i'd come back to this site but I guess I just need a way of expressing everything that's going on, I guess I could use this site as something like a diary? I really want to express many thoughts I've had for a while and I guess this is the only place where I can write away without anyone I know knowing about this façade I've had for a while.\n\nSo far life's been good, Im about to go back to school and get to live the average student life all over again, signed myself into a gym so I could feel better about my physical appearance and music's kept anxious and nervous thoughts away, but this exact day I've been having some real serious thoughts, nothing too worrying such as depression but I'd still say it's important.\n\nI've never been popular at school, and honestly I couldn't care less, I enjoy the silence every once in a while and my small group of friends is already plenty of company to me, but my reputation is what I'd say bothers me. Thanks to music and continuous self-improvement, I've been the joking kind of person for a while, making fun of everything but still keeping respect towards everyone, and by that I mean EVERYONE. I can't say I hate a single person right now, not even the ones that may or may not make fun of me behind my back, I want to believe everyone has a positive side.\n\nOver the years, I've posted various types of content to Facebook, Twitter and other Social Media, such as dogs, memes or just art I consider deep or pretty, but I've received messages and claims telling me to \"stop sharing stupid nonsense\" (it's called \"mamadas\" in Spanish but this is the closest translation of the term I could think of), I had never taken it personally and even laughed it off most of the time, but today it struck me hard.\n\nAs I may or may not have said, I didn't talk to anyone on 7th Grade, I'd always sit by myself to read, everyone thought I was weird and some guys in the bus even talked shit about me, it wasn't the best of experiences but it taught me I have to be open with people because keeping my feelings to myself will just worsen my situation. I've been remembering these experiences today and it makes me feel like people don't like me for who I am.\n\nIm pretty confident about myself, I do some jokes on me every once in a while but I don't really take stuff personally or overreact over a mean-sounding comment, I even signed myself up for the School's Volleyball Team this year, knowing I don't have any good reflexes and Im generally slow. I appreciate myself for who I am.\n\nWhat I've noticed is that people don't take me seriously, anything I say always seems like a joke or a lie and I just don't like that, it feels like people don't trust me or don't like to talk any serious topics with me and I really dislike that, I've always liked to be the friend you can count in, the one you can tell your private issues to and that will help you get over them but it makes me feel like I don't have a purpose in anyone's life but my own.\n\nIm not having suicidal thoughts, thankfully, but I feel empty and Im not sure of what to do about it, I have various hobbies, I go out pretty frequently, I socialize a proper amount, so I can't find any escapes other than music, which is just a momentary \"patch\" of the whole situation, as Im scared, my biggest fear for a few years has been being no one, just another pawn in the big chess of life.\n\nI want to believe I'll feel better, but I wish I could go back in time and think thoroughly: Do I want to be taken seriously? Don't I want to have lots of friends I can rely on and that can rely on me? Im not even sure if those are the questions I should be asking, this is just plain out confusing really.\n\nIm not looking for the approval of others, Im looking for their support and trust. I have someone close to me but Im afraid of pushing them away by overwhelming them with this weird nonsense.\n\nI want to be someone in life. Someone successful who is proud of themselves. Every time I think of the odds of achieving that which I dream of the most, I try to keep me down to earth by imagining the worst case scenario, accept reality and not look for chances where the aren't any.\n\nI didn't mean to take this blog or your time as some psychologist session, but I wanted to take this out of my chest. I'll start posting more content so keep an eye out!\n\nThanks for reading.",
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      "body": "Great Post !!!\nFollow me and I will follow you !!!\nAnd lets do the upvotes and comments exchange !!!",
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      "body": "We have all read happy stories where 2 or more people spend a lot of time together, have fun, do many activities we find fun and entertaining and such, and Im pretty sure most, if not many, have said something like \"Wish I could do stuff like that\".\n\nMe, for example, I feel like I want someone to tell me they're glad they met me, someone to laugh with me, do all kinds of fun stuff together, whether it's as a couple or simply friends. I feel lonely and different because no one seems to like what I like around here.\n\n# Accepting One Self\nI once saw a video by a Voice Actor who explained why sometimes \"we feel lonely even when sorrounded by a lot of people\". She said the main problem is being able to accept ourselves for who we really are, we are insecure of who we are or simply don't like the way we do things. We're not conformed with ourselves.\n\nBecause of this, many are missing those who are close to them just because they're hoping a super fantastic friend will just fall from the sky and do whatever they want. We need to take action and recognize we aren't exactly alone.\n\n# The People Around You\nI feel lonely, like im really missing someone in my life who will make pretty much each day worth living. The problem is: There are already people like that in my life, I just don't realize at all.\n\nWe can't just wish for the perfect couple or friend or whatever, we have to give a shot to change and chances, maybe try new things or simply learn about them through talks and such with those around you. We have to do an effort for what we're looking for, accomodate to other people's tastes every once in a while.\n\n# Conclusion\nThose who are feeling lonely: You are not. Even if you feel like you are all by yourself there must be at least 1 person who you can relate, count on, who you can trust. If you really don't believe there's anyone like that, you should try leaving your comfort zone step-by-step and go find them, just wishing and hoping won't get you anywhere if you don't take part in making it come true.",
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      "title": "That Spice we should look for",
      "body": "# Story\nI've always been a serious person, back at home when I was very little and now that im almost an adult, I've never actually felt any excitement for anything that isn't a game release or a certain date, which should actually be called anticipation or something. \n\nLately, I've been called \"shut\", \"quiet\", \"simple\" and \"calm\" a lot. I don't like that at all. I feel like I can't do anything out of my regular boring schedule. I don't do any sports or excercise, Im not really a fan of watching series (I do enjoy watching some but \"thrill\" isn't quite it), I simply don't have any activities that give me that but of excitement im looking for...\n![IMG_7528.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZY1Ui6ueV4LDRr66zgytVhDj4frB7v3tkqAzFrCtvcmv/IMG_7528.JPG)\n# My thoughts on this\nI don't do sports because im terribly bad at it, I've tried football but it's too intense for me, I've tried volleyball but my body can't take all the jumps and my blocks and passes are never in place, My aim at basketball is terrible and I can't take away a ball from others, I simply can't play anything. \n\nI believe the excitement of not knowing what might happen but knowing you influence the outcome is the excitement im looking for. Being a part of something that can truly hype you up and make you give it all you've got. I don't excel at anything so I would really have to work hard for it, I would if I had the resources since I do have the will.\n\n# Why \"we\" in the title?\nSome people might feel useless, unloved, like they can't really do anything, there was this classmate of mine that was super popular with girls, incredibly good at sports, was part of a band and performed perfectly at school. The problem was that he ended up crying twice because he felt unloved.\n\nIm not the only one that needs to find his true passion, I believe there are many people tied to passions they don't even want to pursue anymore but are forced to follow because of compromises. We need to make our minds on what we really want to do, give everything a chance and think throughly before deciding.\n![IMG_7529.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNnGDrfHN3acHYnHS1wmkCBSSH3jDadSamPXWE9PbCywu/IMG_7529.JPG)\n# Conclusion\nI feel empty, useless, many people do, we envy those who seem happy all the time, with many friends and hobbies. We have to try to find what really thrills us and satiates that thirst for feelings most of us have. Just watching won't make you happy, be part of it, part of your own life.",
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      "title": "A Dream I Had",
      "body": "# Story\nIn Primary School, I studied in a little catholic school pretty far from where I live now (still in Mexico though), I was really social back then but I also remember I was a bit of a douche, I really was happy and satisfied with my life but I remember being mean to other kids, maybe because of the many TV Shows that influenced kids back then. I had a little group of friends and we were very friendly with each other but once we parted ways into different Middle Schools we stopped talking to each other eventually. I remember we liked to play on Xbox a lot, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, we were pretty united until I moved to a completely different environment and they went to different Middle Schools. I had a year long depression because of this.\n\nWhile I was returning to Mexico a few weeks ago, I put some music and fell asleep, after a while I started hearing the music again, inside a dream, that was the only thing I remember hearing. The dream got pretty depressing, it was about how me and my best friend used to do everything together but after some years had to say goodbye in a pretty sad way, I can´t really remember but I pictured us as kids, crying at the very end of the dream. After this I wake up, everyone on the plane was asleep and the depressing song was over. \n\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmb63GmuiHXqZJRW6k2meKaYcEP2RdqkuZa7gFPHLhpc3K/image.png\n\n# My thoughts on this\nI woke up crying, which should mean the song actually provoked my subconscious to feel nostalgia for those times when I was all jolly and happy, the thing is: The song was in Japanese, a language im still learning and still can´t understand completely, I think the song´s melody is at fault for the feelings the song provoked, I know there´s probably some research on this topic already but I like to theorise myself before actually researching. \n\nSince my Japanese is very basic, the idea of me understanding what the lyrics mean is close to impossible, meaning it couldn´t be at fault for the emotions I felt when I woke up. Why close? Maybe the subconscious made the lyrics sound familiar, giving it a meaning based on the melody´s mood and such. Why do I think so? Because after looking for the song´s translation I found it´s about a girl who believes she can do anything when she´s with her loved one. I´d prefer to not give the song name though, Im reserved with those kinds of stuff. \n\n![Screen Shot 2017-07-21 at 12.16.25 PM.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNQp5uMXyeKXZivDNT6JqfRCZinnmTJQ7WmECkkMaa3en/Screen%20Shot%202017-07-21%20at%2012.16.25%20PM.png)\n\nWhile both me and my friend are guys (and I don´t feel even the slightest attraction to him, seriously), the belief of being able to do anything when im with him must have reminded my subconscious about how imaginative and colourful we both were back when we were kids, provoking the feelings I had right when I woke up.\n\n## Why did I wake up at the end of the song though?\nWhile I assume it´s mainly because of how used I am to the length of this particular genre of Japanese songs, I probably couldn´t take the emotions the song provoked when the chorus was repeated at the very end. The chorus must´ve played at the very start of the dream, when I dreamt I met him or something around the lines of that; when the chorus played again, it probably reminded me of the very start of the dream, when we had barely just met and were having such fun but made me realise it wouldn´t happen again and that we had to move on.\n\n# Conclusion\nThis might sound like fiction, I know, I barely know anything about the science of dreams and such but these little theories keep me entertained for a few hours with all the thinking and such. Feel free to take this seriously or not, Im probably waaaay off the track of the actual facts on this but it´s simply what I thought about this and how I felt towards it. Thanks if you made it this far!",
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      "body": "@@ -1010,8 +1010,1684 @@\n p insane\n+ after trying to play the role and getting way too into the character, and while I was translating for my mom to understand (Im Mexican, she%C2%B4s from Venezuela but doesn%C2%B4t know any English) the driver straight up told me %22Dude, you%C2%B4re pretty intelligent, you should try this new platform, it%C2%B4s still in beta but if you like writing and such you should be able to gain some popularity%22, while I was kind of rejecting the idea at first, I ended up acceding to give it a try. I do like writing but I don%C2%B4t think my content%C2%B4s exactly %22creative%22 or attractive.%0A%0AWhat I like?%0AWhile I do like eating, I don%C2%B4t eat much, probably because I pass most of my time sleeping. I sleep in class and manage to get average scores so it%C2%B4s not exactly a problem now...?%0AIm way more awake at night, so I like pulling all-nighters for the smallest things, whether it%C2%B4d be a school project or some movie I found that called my attention.%0AIm not really a gamer myself, I suck at most game genres, such as FPSs or MOBAs. I do like playing Overwatch but my skill%C2%B4s nothing out of the ordinary.%0A%0AWhat don%C2%B4t I like?%0AIrl, I look like I hate everything I see, my face looks like that by default, can%C2%B4t be changed, sorry. I don%C2%B4t like fake people, those that treat you differently (better or worse than others, both ways) just because of some trait of yours. Not like Im much of a justice fighter myself though...%0A%0AHobbies?%0ASleeping, wishing someone texts me out of the blue without actually trying to text someone else, kind of waiting for something to happen that changes my lifestyle forever.%0A%0AHopefully I%C2%B4ll get used to Steemit and be able to create good entertaining content, thanks if you read this far!\n",
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      "body": "@@ -1014,796 +1014,4 @@\n sane\n- because of getting into %22The Joker%22 too much (You know, the DC Universe Joker) and while I was translating for my mom (We%C2%B4re both latinos, she doesn%C2%B4t know english and mine%C2%B4s not exactly perfect) the driver straight up told me %22You%C2%B4re really smart, you should try this %C2%B4Steemit%C2%B4 thing%22, I have always liked to write about my day and such so I said %22Meh, why not, it%C2%B4s worth a try%22. I probably lost most people around 20 minutes ago so I%C2%B4ll wrap this up.%0A%0AWhile im not exactly sure about the kind of content I want to create, I%C2%B4ll do my best to make it entertaining, any comments or suggestions would be great because honestly im still kind of lost and riddled and my speech structuring and redacting is still a little bit of a disaster. Hopefully you%C2%B4ll get used to it or I%C2%B4ll improve it lol\n",
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      "body": "Hi, im basically another poster in this gigantic website with a personal blog, im not exactly extroverted so I´d like to be able to express my thoughts and feelings on this little blog thing... While I don´t exactly know how the entire Steem stuff works, Im sure I´ll eventually learn my ropes and be able to post better content than the one you´re seeing right now.\n\nHow did I get involved in Steem? That´s actually kind of a funny story (to me, at least)\nI was in a trip to Vegas, my father and my little sister were watching the UFC fights while my mom and I simply walked around the city, exploring and eating the hell out of everything. By the end of the day we got really tired and decided to ask for an Uber, since we´re kind of new to the whole Uber thing we got stressed out because we ended up asking it to pick us up like... 5 blocks away? We ended up running and collapsed on the seats, the driver was really nice and we started talking.\n\nWe talked about Jared Leto and the many people who ended up insane because of getting into \"The Joker\" too much (You know, the DC Universe Joker) and while I was translating for my mom (We´re both latinos, she doesn´t know english and mine´s not exactly perfect) the driver straight up told me \"You´re really smart, you should try this ´Steemit´ thing\", I have always liked to write about my day and such so I said \"Meh, why not, it´s worth a try\". I probably lost most people around 20 minutes ago so I´ll wrap this up.\n\nWhile im not exactly sure about the kind of content I want to create, I´ll do my best to make it entertaining, any comments or suggestions would be great because honestly im still kind of lost and riddled and my speech structuring and redacting is still a little bit of a disaster. Hopefully you´ll get used to it or I´ll improve it lol",
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