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      "author": "korptopia",
      "body": ">She felt, finally, abandoned. Defeated. Was she a reject tree?\n\nI am publishing this book on Steemit one thousand words at a time, a few times per week. Scroll down for the latest chapter.\n\n[CLICK HERE TO START FROM THE BEGINNING](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-chapter-1-1)\n\n**WARNING: This book contains adult themes and content!**\n\n[You can more easily follow my book at wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/134804459-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves ]\n\n## Chapter 2.2: Where Miranda Tries to be a Pig ##\n\nWhat did keep her attention for some time were the trees, her presumed kin. She would climb them, hang from them, jump from them, pick apart leaves, lick the bark, chew on branches, dig at the roots. Tree dwellers piqued her curiosity as well. Squirrels, birds, (woodpeckers!), cats, tree frogs, more bugs... What did they know that she didn't? She investigated every kind of tree in her forest. She learned much, but nothing of herself.\n\nPerhaps all this moving around was her mistake. Trees keep still. So, she tried standing at attention for days, weeks - maybe even longer - waiting to take root. That, of course, never happened.\n\nShe felt, finally, abandoned. Defeated. Was she a reject tree?\n\nA type of success came accidentally. It was late Spring, perhaps her first. She was walking, aimless. She'd been pacing for months, bored with the snow, already tired of life. With Spring apace and life budding, she was a little more upbeat, though she realized she had no real connection to it. Was a life without cycles, without end, a life without meaning? This she pondered.\n\nAnd then the sow attacked.\n\nMiranda had gotten too close to its den. Weeks earlier the sow had had its litter, and she was in a protective state of mind. Now, Miranda had nothing to fear. She could not be harmed. But she could be startled and was.\n\nShe ran for the nearest tree and jump at the trunk. As she reached out she knew that she had another option. No on. Not up. But in.\n\nThe sow slid into the tree and squealed. Ow! Where'd the ape go?\n\nMiranda, hiding inside the tree, could still hear just as if she were standing outside. Indeed, she quickly learned that she could see out as well from any vantage point the tree granted. She could sense the tree, deep in the ground thirsty, the highest leaves basking in the sun, the weight on each bough. The excitement of another year of growth. \n\nAnd, yes. That sound the sow made. It meant something. All those sounds animals made meant something. But understanding that discovery would have to wait.\n\nAt first, Miranda believed that she had finally made it. She was a tree at last! But she soon realized that the tree was its own thing. She was still herself. Nevertheless, this was a consciousness-raising experience. She discovered that trees connect to each other through the soil. They talk. After a fashion. They make root room for their offspring. Offspring? Miranda had yet to understand the concept of having young, let alone breeding. But now, living inside another entity she understood how plants live. She learned how to move between trees without having to emerge back into the forest. Some roots connected between trees, she quickly discovered, and with a bit of courage, she was able to squeeze through from one to another, without harming the trees. In time she discovered alternate lines of communication and resource sharing between the trees and that she could transmit herself that way as well. It was slower and harder to do, and at times she lost her way and found herself whole again buried in soil, but soon she improved and learned how to cope with the difficulties.\n\nMiranda did not spend all of her time inside the trees and the earth. She had developed a habit of rising to the top of the tallest tree at night and popping out in the nook of a high bough to look at the stars, watching them set over her mountain. She learned those stars well, observing them for years, understanding that they moved in a nightly and yearly pattern. They seemed unchanging like her, but free, unlike her. Miranda had lots to learn and explore, but she knew she was in a prison. In the silent pitch of the night, she could hear them hum. Her skin was electric in response. They were so far away - she knew they were very, very far - but they somehow had much to do with her.\n\nEven the Milky Way, which was available to her in such detail as there were no city lights in that time obscuring the ceiling of sky, was something she knew intimately. Far from thinking it was somehow separate from the stars, she realized that if each star could be thought of as a tree, then the Milky Way was just a far-off forest.\n\nShe watched storms from this vantage too. She did not fear them. She was fascinated by the raw power, by how the trees swayed and strained and by the fires the lightning sometimes caused. Those alarmed the trees. She put them out when she saw them, smothering them painlessly with her hands.\n\nThis old beech tree became her home. It towered over the forest around from both its great grow height and its situation on a hill. Her forest was bordered almost completely by mountains. There were some breaks between them, but Miranda never ventured outside. The ground in those breaks was clogged with rocks, and she had a hard if not impossible time travelling tree to tree with rocks in the way. She could walk out, of course, but her forest was large and kept her interest.\n\nDuring the day, from her vantage point in the trees she was able to wander through the forest without being seen, and without disturbing the animals. She learned a lot this way.\n\nAnimals ate! She didn't eat. Well, she could, but she didn't need to. They did it often. The reason why was so far unclear.\n\nThey slept too. Some in the day. Some at night. This confused her. She had no idea what sleep was. She had no need. She would at times lie or stand still in contemplation, and sometimes would hold her silver-grey eyes shut to aid her hearing, but to curl up somewhere isolated and close her eyes for hours? That was not something that made any sense to her. She saw animals dreaming, but had no idea why. And bears. There were bears who slept for months. It was all very strange to her.\n\n## -- End of  chapter 2-2 -- ##\n\nLinks:\n \n\n[PREVIOUS](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-2-1)\n[FIRST](https://steemit.com/writing/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-chapter-1-1)",
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      "author": "korptopia",
      "body": ">As promised, elves do have a sex life...\n\nI'm publishing this book on Steemit one thousand words at a time, a few times per week. Scroll down for the latest chapter.\n\n[CLICK HERE TO START FROM THE BEGINNING](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-chapter-1-1)\n\nWhat this book is about:\n\n>Everything you think you know about elves is wrong, wrong, wrong. You. Have. No. Idea! What you think you know: There are elves for Christmas. Elves for cobblers. Little winged Irish fairy elves. Short Shakespearean meddlers. Pretty, sanctimonious stuck up Tolkien types. Yes, even some dark Norse dwarves got pegged with the label. All incorrect. Flawed. Totally stupid.\n\n>This story is about how a handful of real elves and a few pathetic less-than-average humans deal with the fall of civilization. And yes, in the telling of this story, some secrets of the sex lives of elves are revealed. Hubba hubba.\n\n**WARNING: This book contains adult themes and content!**\n\n[You can more easily follow my book at wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/134804459-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves ]\n\nIf you want to start at the beginning (advisable if you haven’t) [click here](https://steemit.com/writing/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-chapter-1-1).\n\n![The Secret Sex Lives of Elves (small) - Edited.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdcHfz15z4AdqvxL1XjiEz9qypSHrRbQo5XcYxpEXmo7G/The%20Secret%20Sex%20Lives%20of%20Elves%20(small)%20-%20Edited.jpg)\n\n## Chapter 2.1: Where Miranda Tries to be a Pig ##\n\n\nFor at least her first 1,000 years Miranda was alone from others of her kind, and, for the most part, also from humans. How she came to be is unclear to her. All she had was a jumble of memories. One of those memories is the earliest of them all, but which? And since memories are easily forgotten, how would she know if what she thought to be the first really was?\n\nWell, the first few of her recollections were clear enough: A hazy view of sunlight through the canopy of trees. Green leaves near her face. Her first memories were of trees. It's understandable she started off in life thinking they were kin.\n\nShe didn't look anything like them, of course.\n\nMiranda was a tall, slender creature. By human standards, she was a rare beauty. She was almost white but for her skin having a hint of gold or tan or silver, depending on... something. It's not that the colour changed. It's that you could see in one look all of those hues, only just one at a time.\n\nHer long hair was a lighter brown, maybe tending red. Perhaps darker? Again, it was unclear. You would see one colour, then another. Never more than one, never the same twice. And was it hair, or fur? Look again. The only thing consistent about it was that it had a left part and reached to mid-back. It never grew. It never fell out. It never got in her grey eyes.\n\nGrey? No silver. Again, you would encounter indecision.\n\nWhen she eventually entered the world of humans - and, let's face it, for thousands of years that's often really just been the world of men - this paradox of viewing her led many to just stare, seeking satiation by leering longer. That never worked. Aside from her paradoxical colouring, she was wonderfully shaped. No hard edges. Her face was just damn cute, yet wise. Her smirk was playful. Her scowl beautifully defiant, inspiring regret and a willingness to please in any who saw it.\n\nHer rump was the best nature had ever granted - if she was a creature of nature at all. Round and firm, not a sag or dimple or pimple or cellulite imperfection in sight. Her breasts were athletic. Not large, not small. Her belly was long and elegantly muscled, those oval lines leading downwards to a hairless pubic plateau. And, yes, the slide down from that promising plateau led exactly to what you'd expect to find. As promised, elves do have a sex life.\n\nHer legs were hairless. As were her armpits. Up close, you'd find no hair anywhere on her except her head, brows and eyelashes.\n\nFor her first thousand years, Miranda could be seen in such exacting detail - if you could somehow manage to find her to see her - because she never wore clothes. She didn't need to. She never knew hot or cold as discomforting things. She never cared about dirt or worried about infection. She did not understand the concept of modesty. She had no male suitors to hide her body from. Although she did not initially understand what it meant, Miranda was immortal. The natural elements, at least the ones she had so far encountered, did not disturb her. They only depressed or elated her. Clothes simply had no role in any part of her existence. Why wear any? Why think of wearing any? All of the animals around her didn't bother.\n\nInitially, she gave the animals little thought. They were just things doing nothing important. Like herself, she figured they were just somehow extensions of the trees. They avoided her. Insects though were not very good at being shy. They would fly by, land on or crawl across her often, as you would expect. But, being an elf, she was apparently indestructible, so no mosquitoes could bite, no ticks could burrow, and there was no sweat or bacteria of interest on her skin. She had no reaction to bugs and they had no idea what to do with her. They did not gross her out or incite any fear. She crushed a few. Seeing that they stopped functioning was admittedly a curiosity, but this was no different to her than snapping a twig or breaking open a clod of dirt. After investigating a few, she moved on.\n\nExamining bugs gave rise to her examining herself. She once pinched a forearm hard. She felt pressure, but that was it. No pain. As soon as she let go, her flesh returned to its previous state. Not a mark was left. She pulled at her hair, but none came out. Poked an eye. Pulled a toe. Pinched a nipple. Slapped her boobs around. Got an index finger way up her nose. Stuck fingers in her mouth.\n\nShe even found that hole down there between her legs. That one was interesting.\n\nShe was quite bendable. A pornographer's dream, really. So she was able to lie on her back, get her heels behind her head, and get her face right in there to take a look. What was this all about? A nub, mounds and ridges and a slippery pit -- though not in the wet sense. Slippery in the Teflon sense. Pans coated in elf vagina wall would be no mess to clean up forever!\n\nUnderstand, she had been confused about her mouth until she figured out she could make sounds and taste with her tongue (though she had no use for food or water) but what was this hole between her legs all about? She stuck some fingers in there and felt around. That was... different. Rubbing the area tickled, but she had no urges to act on. She was very young and was experiencing no erotic longings and knew nothing of sex. Though there were fantastic possibilities there, she, well, grew bored of the investigation.\n\n\n\n## -- End of  Chapter 2-1 -- ##\n\nLinks:\n \n[PREVIOUS](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-1-4)\n[FIRST](https://steemit.com/writing/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-chapter-1-1)",
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      "body": "@@ -295,24 +295,32 @@\n es-of-elves-\n+chapter-\n 1-1)%0A%0AWhat t\n",
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      "body": ">\"Sean revelled in his jetpack's capabilities.\"\n\nI am publishing this book on Steemit one thousand words at a time, a few times per week. Scroll down for the latest chapter.\n\n[CLICK HERE TO START FROM THE BEGINING](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-1-1)\n\nWhat this book is about:\n\n*Everything you think you know about elves is wrong, wrong, wrong. You. Have. No. Idea! What you think you know: There are elves for Christmas. Elves for cobblers. Little winged Irish fairy elves. Short Shakespearean meddlers. Pretty, sanctimonious stuck up Tolkien types. Yes, even some dark Norse dwarves got pegged with the label. All incorrect. Flawed. Totally stupid.*\n\n*This story is about how a handful of real elves and a few pathetic less-than-average humans deal with the fall of civilization. And yes, in the telling of this story, some secrets of the sex lives of elves are revealed. Hubba hubba.*\n\n**WARNING: This book contains adult themes and content!**\n\n[You can more easily follow my book at Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/134804459-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves ]\nIf you want to start at the beginning (advisable if you haven’t) [click here](https://steemit.com/writing/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-chapter-1-1).\n\n![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/2B8LOpu-HHnshQ7f-wm1XY_miDzIWoSpMd-cM6TJZ0JJS5OFAykeh69iHHwxD9Uwus87nmjAGdxbNTk4xgWVn_DwjkTqtf33AZyxWfNuxoXiNPweyfM6u5tMpQvcCXBgql4z0zso6lU7JTXNaawL3ZzmQ5qBy8W-Wk3kQioqoBmK1XljG3qao02Xekb-jdPUJH9tYbmz0UlvT17b4ZOeorqowzZqG6ukv-px3C0Ie3wdbtiGScKvaXJkG2PWht570JbAFKgTx5iv3ENuXP_0JiANv6AgKQbN9ln7nLu_MM4sBI_OaQ4_5D1aSBThPz_7PPwIiH8LDc8gn4jXKv3KuYP13EZOHrK42AAjSASyXuhngGsvwh1QSBsq9k_oP216wWBlM8pHS1_VqyR6dCdg8cXPbTsbc7A4xnrMHx_u8Ju2R_wa0Zx-n4yI01xzvyFzXlOKYxm3gI-r4M7_CodkUOiqtdRcaQLkMq_PYWcUc4MsORzL2WbeXLHeaAPuk587t0jMsXSrA0RLYNb0ykyQm4K44zYEvvwYFdpR7cE9mESag8aPyIJsTlIzi-aWDIYrStK47uGFXu6cUPHqnwsEeZKyrbKQLCMABv4Y6ow=w355-h567-no)\n\n## Chapter 1.3: The Peculiar End of Life Experience of Sean Hasker ##\n\nSean revelled in his jetpack's capabilities. It was a long trip full of loops, whoop-de-doos and hazardous flybys. He even did corkscrew barrel rolls around an Airbus full of very nervous passengers. Then, after 1300 kms travelling at speeds up to MACH 7, Sean spotted the world-famous house nestled just outside of Bathurst, New Brunswick.\n\nThis was the homestead of The Hicks of Bathurst. World-famous distillers of Hicks Maple Rye Whiskey and stars of their own wildly popular streaming broadcast, featuring the incredible Fannie Mae Hicks. Incredible because her fanny is responsible for billions of nocturnal teenage fantasies, and an ongoing fortune spent on ass-sculpting surgery. There just was no denying it: Her rear was a firm bubbly wonder. Clad every episode in - at most - cut-off jeans, Fannie Mae's derriere had conquered the competition, even surpassing hit shows like 'Stuffing Stephen', '500 Shades of Pink', 'What Are Bobby's Boobies Doing Now?' and even the supernatural hit 'Seeking the Fourth Orifice'. The secret? She's never naked. Oh, there was that time her brother Elmer barged in on her while she was in the shower, and the world was treated to a fuzzy flesh view of her through a translucent shower curtain. That was the so-called Big Reveal episode Internet Inc. had spent three weeks teasing the world about. Billions were pissed off by that misleading advertising, but, boy, did the world ever replay that segment over and over anyway. So never, ever, had anyone seen that ripe peach bereft of clothing. As a marketing strategy, it was genius. Sexy was sexiest without sex. In the vulgar world of 2037, that was actually revolutionary.\n\nThe whole clan was in the backyard, sitting on various pieces of clutter: an old stump, some beaten lawn chairs, a washing machine blasted with buckshot, an old rotting couch, and a couple of very old bucket seats. Fannie Mae was there, polka-dot bikini-clad, lying off to the side on a recliner in the sun, buns up gently toasting.\n\nOh, just look at her! Sean certainly was as he plopped down right in the Hick's midst, his jetpack landing blast somehow disturbing no one.\n\nGramps - the family patriarch - rose and limped over to Sean, a fresh bottle of whiskey in hand. He was a bald, short stick figure wearing tattered jeans which hung off of him like drapes, and a white, dirty t-shirt. There was sagging flesh where his biceps should be. His dirty bare feet had nails each suffering from their own unique fungoid infection. His beard was almost as long as he was tall. At a crouched-over four-foot-nine that was still rather lengthy.\n\nDespite the decrepit state of the old man, Sean had an unfamiliar impulse to hug him. He loved this family. Before today, he had never held his mother, and never understood loving, intimate touch. Daddy on top of me, pressing me into my mattress, perverted muthafucka!\n\n\"Well, how do y'all do lad! We done heard y'all was coming. Even baked y'all ayy maple cake!\" Gramps said, his ecstatic words whistling through what few crooked black teeth he had left.\n\nAnd - pop! - there was a table covered with a checkered red and white country tablecloth. Bottles of various Hicks whiskey encircled the cake. It was enormous and adorned with mounds of sugary icing topped with cherries. Mounds. Cherries. Sean impulsively glanced over at Fannie Mae's hills and valley. Is there a cherry in there? Mother of God!\n\nSean's jetpack morphed into a reclining chair. He took a seat and graciously accepted a plate of cake and a glass of Hicks Premium 21 Rye from Edna, daughter of Gramps and mother of 9 boys and Fannie Mae. Now, she didn't look anything like Fannie Mae. She was deep into middle age sporting the classic \"I've had babies\" pear-shaped body and drooping boobs. It would be hard to imagine her genes producing a woman as jaw-dropping as her one daughter. Even harder to believe that Fannie Mae could look much like her in 30 years. Surprisingly, Sean didn't heckle her. Not even to himself. Normally, he'd be all over that! Ageing is hard, he realized. Edna had had 10 children, plus several miscarriages and one stillbirth. Her husband had died five years earlier in a compressor explosion. He knew this as he was a loyal follower of the show. This woman had seen so much, and here she was serving him whiskey and cake. He was not going to put her down. Respect. Respect!\n\n\"Thank you, Edna. Bottoms up!\" said Sean, tipping the glass to his thirsty lips. Fannie Mae must have heard because she shook her ass in response. Wiggle, jiggle. Oh. My.\n\nThe half circle of the Hicks clan sitting about hungrily followed Sean's example. Elmer, always the clown, tipped himself and his bottle back far too much and fell ass-first off his stump. The whole family cackled, slapping knees.\n\n\"Yee-haw, Elmer! You shat for brains!\" laughed BB, the eldest son.\n\nEdna scolded Elmer. \"Get up! Ya never think!\"\n\n\"Sorry, Ma.\" Elmer was giggling though. Ever the fool.\n\nSean felt good. Almost perfect. What was missing? Miranda, that's who. He wished she was here, enjoying the laughter, taking in the comfort of family. Yes, it felt good. Sean had never felt like this. He'd felt amazing from alcohol and drugs, laughing at the misfortunes of others, dominating others, and, of course, sex. But never had he felt the warmth of truly being part of something. Every other time sitting with folk he had always seen himself in some sort of contest to stay on top. He had always secretly felt insecure unless he felt he controlled the room. Not here. This was family.\n\nSean had never had a family. Just abuse and anxiety. He had never had any place he could call a sanctuary. He so much wanted Miranda here to experience this with him.\n\nMiranda herself also had never had a family. He wanted to be holding her hand, laughing along with her. Later they could walk in the nearby woods, head to the Atlantic beachfront nearby and frolic in the ocean. He just wanted that to happen, and to go on forever.\n\nBut it wouldn't would it? They would grow old and die. And this clan, well, he was still an outsider, just a guest here. They couldn't stay here forever. Where could they go to find such love?\n\nAnd then it clicked. \"Why... I could have my own family!\" he spoke out loud.\n\nGramps answered. \"Why, yes, son. Y'all could. It's how we carry on even aftuurr we've done left this here world.\"\n\nElmer laughed. \"Hey! I thinks Sean here has had an a-penis-fa-me!\"\n\n\"Epiphany! There's no dang penis in it, Elmer!\" shouted BB. More cackling went around.\n\nGramps wandered over to Sean, crouched beside him, and whispered in his ear, motioning in Fannie Mae's direction. \"Ay know y'all want huurr. Who doesn't? Some av my grandsons probably have done had so many impure thoughts. Geez, ay don't wan-ta know. But y'all? you're ayy darn good man. And ayy senataw at that there Ottawwaa! Whel, go ta her, my man. She's a-willin', just faw y'all. She'd give y'all kinds o' kin.\"\n\nWhat an offer!\n\n## -- End of chapter 1-3 -- ##\n\n\nLinks:\n\n[NEXT](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-1-4)\n[PREVIOUS](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-1-2)\n[FIRST](https://steemit.com/fiction/@korptopia/adult-fantasy-fiction-the-secret-sex-lives-of-elves-1-1)",
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