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      "body": "![crazy.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbvU6ea7DXZdANRVEZ5yCYrnTkSaLSsZF2e4fsxNrayf1/crazy.png)\n\n\nOn Friday Sept 8th a female; off duty Dallas police officers shot and killed an unarmed black man after “mistaking the man’s apartment for her own.” While mainstream media was happy to use the woman’s profession as the premier talking point due to recent events involving race relations and police work IMP investigators have found a deeper truth, BITCHES BE CRAZY.\n\nWhile somewhat known as a social norm the statement has been used to explain away hundreds of late night texts while out with the boys, and even manic rants about “where this is going”. What is little known is that there is a powerful group of women hidden in the shadows that employee thousands of spin artist world wide and have been responsible for explaining away female craziness for centuries. Known by many names over the years to includes Medusa’s Menstrual Maidens, Lilith’s Lair and Oprah’s Book Club, the group has created a network under the guise of female empowerment bringing us such things as the Lifetime network, Oxygen and Bravo.\n\nThe massive machine runs on dollars brought in by their entertainment arm which in congress with the for mentioned networks includes books like Chicken Soup for the Soul and a vast vaaaast collection of romance novels. Many would think that the profits from such a large empire would be the primary goal however the majority of funds generated are used to either keep the serious crazy lady stories under wraps or spin them in a manner that reduces perceived craziness.\n\n“A teenage girl shoots a man’s wife, he made her do it. A broad drowns her kids in a lake, postpartum depression they say. A woman chops of her husband’s wiener in his sleep, she was abused. Now a chick shoots a dude she used to date? Cops just be shooting random black people in their apartments for no reason. They got it all figured out man I’m telling you”\n\nThe quoted man requested that his identity be kept secret for his safety, but he claims to have first hand knowledge of the goings on inside of the cabal.  \n\n“where’d I find out about this? Shit, ok so I go out with this chick back in like 2005.Everything is cool you know? Then one night after about a month of dating I stay out with the boys until like 4 just haven a good ass time. Well I’m walking into my apartment and next thing I know someone hits me in the head and I wake up on some kind of alter with Destiny’s Child playing in the background and this bitch straddling me with a sharpened hair brush. I look over and what do I see but Taylor swift in one of those hanging chairs telling her to “cut me for my sins”. Absolutely insane!\"\n\n \n\nThe man went on to explain that after he promised to never miss another text again the woman let him go unharmed and later informed him of her role in the group because they were “forever bonded now”. \n\nIMP- What happened to the woman?\n\nMan- I married her dog! She said if I didn’t her and Brittney Spears were going to turn me into a ken doll and make me pee sitting down, apparently they have a camp for dudes that don’t listen. Haven’t taken more than 60 seconds to respond to any text in 13 years though.\n![untitled.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaBUs3f9C18nY67FhidKwTqUuAHjdJtiKwg9ku8kmuB4X/untitled.png)\nAccording to source the assassination of the Dallas man was planned for months as the officer involved and her girls visited Tarot card readers and psychics, the ladies would finish off their planning phase with a night of wine and Snapped. Leaders of the group eventually signed off on the plan because it was so easy to convince the public that the shooting was over racism and police brutality given the latest Nike commercial with Colin Kaepernick. However in reality it was just a girl jonesing  for that sweet D\n\nSigning off, and please for the love of God do not tell my wife.",
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      "body": "Congratulations @matt527! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x60/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/firstpost.png</td><td>You published your First Post</td></tr>\n<tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x60/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/firstvoted.png</td><td>You got a First Vote</td></tr>\n</table>\n\n<sub>_[Click here to view your Board of Honor](https://steemitboard.com/@matt527)_</sub>\n<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>\n\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/i06trehc\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmU34ZrY632FFKQ1vbrkSM27VcnsjQdtXPynfMrpxDFJcF\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/i06trehc\">Be ready for the next contest!</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/halloween/@steemitboard/trick-or-treat-publish-your-scariest-halloweeen-story-and-win-a-new-badge\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/RUyB3u.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/halloween/@steemitboard/trick-or-treat-publish-your-scariest-halloweeen-story-and-win-a-new-badge\">Trick or Treat - Publish your scariest halloween story and win a new badge</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-notifications-improved\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/NgygYH.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-notifications-improved\">SteemitBoard notifications improved</a></td></tr></table>\n\n> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!",
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      "body": "![grandpa.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcuZssDwf8aiWLBNF6SCusFmji3MCYsFtH3YqLSnsw4jZ/grandpa.png)\n\nIn recent years late Baby Boomers and Gen Xers have found themselves becoming grandparents and in many cases unwilling participants in the lives of their grandchildren. The problem seems to be caused by millennials (like almost every other problem we are currently facing in the U.S).  As the former youngsters stop pulling out and start dropping baby bombs up in their tinder dates/ wives the long and strenuous path of parent/adult hood begins. \n\nWhere depression era grandparents were genuinely excited in the 80’s and 90’s when their new play toys were born, the new generation of grandparents are somewhat less stoked on the concept.\n\nRon age 60 (new grandparent)\n\n\"Look I’m not saying I don’t like the kid or anything, but he’s kind of boring. I lost 12 years of nights out when his dad was a kid why the fuck do I want to hang out with a baby that ain’t even mine?\"\n\nHarold 62 (expecting grandparent)\n\n\"Man I just retired, divorced that cow of an ex, bought a tiny house on the lake and a Seado. If my asshole kid thinks for a second I’m giving up strange poon Saturday so he can take his wife out for drinks and get him some he’s out of his damn mind. I barely had sex (with his mom) for 18 years cus of his ass and everyone knows Saturdays is fo da bois!\"\n\n![cool old.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQ67RijepCDhgZ9XG5KXDaeHfcK8sLjyNok42Qy3uLUnp/cool%20old.png)\n\nPossibly because of the internet; many older people most of whom are divorced are discovering “their best life” in their 50’s and 60’s. With sites available such as “our time”, “Lay matures” and “Backpage” older people have more options than ever when choosing who to spend their times with. Turns out older men are more into Latina hookers and women are more likely to spend their time with men who use Robert Redford to describe themselves in dating profiles. \nBut what effect is this having on the younger families and how might it affect the country in the long run? As significant others have less and less alone time it seems that erratic and strange behavior is on the rise in society and in the workplace.\n\nPatrick age 31 (father of a 6 month old)\n\n“I legit jerked off in my boss’s office yesterday in the hopes that I would get caught and obtain so sort of adult attention.”\n\nKristen age 30 (Patrick’s wife/ mother)\n\n“I started watching the Twilight series again to see what love looks like. The baby screams at me until I give him a titty, and my husband just grunts and shakes his wiener at me every couple of days. Add to that the fact that I’m 30 pounds heavier I feel like a cow that belongs to a degenerate farmer.” \n![milk.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmPRjekiuauPA7urpntn82WvxTUwvJmMQMM6n1AqCuSS1n/milk.png)\n\nPast generations saw the benefit of leaving children with their grandparents while the parents went out on date nights or weekend trips to maintain their connection during a marriage. Unfortunately the new norm is fedora wearing grandfathers hopped up on testosterone therapy and Viagra. While the grandmothers spend their former husband’s retirement money on essential oils and their new boyfriend Rudy (who she tells you to call dad but fuck that noise he’s like 5 years older than me. I wouldn’t call his ass daddy even if he molested me in the two man tent back during the Cub scout/mission trip of 95).\n![creepyscout.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmfS49STz8rBFMSWRm2fbHLZyZ5NghL8caJFtSWn1okogM/creepyscout.jpg)\nAn obvious solution to the issue would be finding a trust worthy baby sitter, but recent research conducted on popular babysitter site like Care.com revealed an awkward amount of young ladies with black lipstick. This indicates either a major trend change in women’s fashion or a coven of creepy ass juvenile witches that only desire the blood of the innocent, jury is still out.",
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      "author": "partiko",
      "body": "Welcome to Steem matt527! Partiko is a officially the fastest and most popular mobile app for Steem. Unlike other Steem apps, we take 0% cut of your earnings! You can also be rewarded with Partiko Points while using Partiko and exchange Partiko Points for upvotes!\n\nPartiko for Android can be downloaded [here on Google Play](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android) and the iOS version is available [here on the App Store](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/partiko/id1401033260?mt=8).\n\nIf you have more questions, feel free to join our [Discord channel](https://discord.gg/N7Et97G) and ask [@crypto.talk](https://steemit.com/@crypto.talk), we're always here to help!\n\nThank you so much for your interest!\n",
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      "author": "esteemapp",
      "body": "Welcome matt527! <br>**eSteem** is the application that improves your experience here. We have Mobile application for [Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.netsolutions.esteem) and [iOS](https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=1141397898&mt=8) users. We also have developed [Surfer Desktop](https://github.com/esteemapp/esteem-surfer/releases) application that helps you to gain new followers and stay connected with your friends, unique features - notifications, bookmarks, favorites, drafts, and more. <br> We reward our users with encouragement upvotes as well as monthly giveaways rewarding Spotlight top users and active Discord users. <br>Learn more: https://esteem.app <br>Join our discord: https://discord.gg/8eHupPq",
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      "author": "matt527",
      "body": "A great many things seem strange to me in this world, and this strangeness is compounded by having far to many hours in the day at an extremely boring job to contemplate  perplexing issues. Economics, crypto currencies, politics, feminist, religious nuts ,  SJW s, and veganism are just a few things I find my self thinking of  from time to time. So in order to figure it all out I decided to write down my thoughts and the thoughts of some imaginary characters to hopefully be ridiculed and commented out of ignorance. Also there is the added benefit that comes from blogging of acting like a smug ass hat at parties and pretending to have some sort of celebrity. \n\nHonestly before now I always thought blogs were for young women that wear way to much make up and hipsters that want everyone to know about their favorite pale ale this fall, and don't think for a second that the pompous and self important nature of offering my unsolicited opinion to every stranger on the internet is lost on me; so please talk shit in the comments to your heart's desire.  Other than that you'll probably learn far more about me and the page if you just read the articles and throw me a bone every now and then. Enjoy y'all!",
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