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      "memo": "Accumulate free upvotes on your posts every 6 hours! All you need to do is vote our witness account -> se-witness as one of your 30 witness votes. ->  See actual rewards not just 0.001 every day. https://steemlogin.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=se-witness&approve=1",
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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "body": "Congratulations @mattrud! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@mattrud/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@mattrud) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=mattrud)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/steemfest-meet-the-stemians-contest-the-mysterious-rule-revealed\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmasWw4jQHwxng82DKxY6Q6tVg9mWcto4xcDURs8knFgCa/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/steemfest-meet-the-stemians-contest-the-mysterious-rule-revealed\">SteemFest Meet The Stemians Contest - The mysterious rule revealed</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "Congratulations @mattrud! You have received a personal award!\n\n[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@mattrud/birthday2.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@mattrud)  2 Years on Steemit\n<sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/steemfest3-and-steemitboard-meet-the-steemians-contest\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeLukvNFRsa7RURqsFpiLGEZZD49MiU52JtWmjS5S2wtW/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/steemfest3-and-steemitboard-meet-the-steemians-contest\">SteemFest3 and SteemitBoard - Meet the Steemians Contest</a></td></tr></table>\n\n> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!",
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      "body": "Yeah that son of mine, who is in prep, was busted gratifying the wall in the school toilets yesterday with a friend and when he was getting in trouble by the principle and vice principle he got so upset and scared he threw up on both of them! I swear, he's a seriously sweet, good natured, polite little thick head that does THE DUMBEST shit I've ever known a kid to do.",
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      "body": "Oh man, I was SO like your son when I was six. Until I was about 18, actually. Very \"smart\" (did well in school) ... but SO stubborn and close-minded. I think for kids, the key is to praise them for their effort, creativity, growth -- and not make a big deal out of grades, right answers, even wrong answers. *Mindset* by Carol Dweck explains this way better than I can.\n\nIt would be a wonderful world. Let's start that movement in our own lives, and hope it spreads :)",
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      "body": "Thanks!\n\nI'll have to watch that TED Talk later. I'll let you know. Looks really interesting. I'm curious to see how it relates to the dabbler/generalist dichotomy. For me, that really hit home.",
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      "body": ">\"We resist change. Committing ourselves to a small change, even one that is unmistakably in our best interest, is often more frightening than ignoring a dangerous situation.\n\n>We are vehemently faithful to our own view of the world, our story. We want to know what new story we're stepping into before we exit the old one. We don't want an exit if we don't know exactly where it is going to take us, even — or perhaps especially — in an emergency.\" - Steven Grosz [*The Examined Life*](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393349322/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mattrud-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0393349322&linkId=9b8365eb189ae26b041a459548dc286c)\n\nThis was a psychoanalyst's reaction to why a patient, Marissa Panigrosso, fled the World Trade Center on 9/11 immediately, while others didn't.\n\n*\"Why is everyone standing around?\"* she remembered saying.\n\n>\"What struck Marissa Panigrosso as odd is, in fact, the rule. Research has shown that, when a fire alarm rings, people do not act immediately. They talk to each other, and they try to work out what is going on. They stand around.\" \n\nEverybody knows change is scary. But that's usually because the status quo is safe. What if the status quo is a burning building?\n\nIt's the most extreme, tragic example. But it's illustrative. Whatever problems we have ... they're burning buildings, just at a snail's pace. Smoking? The building probably won't collapse for 20+ years, but it'll probably collapse. Bad relationship? Burning, might make it a year. Commoditizable job? Burning, might take the robots 15 years to destroy it.\n\nStories help. It helps to read a book about the uncertainty you're afraid of, talk to a friend, or even write your own. Stories are scripts for real life ... well, rough drafts.\n\nEven if the fire is small, we have to treat it as if it's urgent. Because otherwise we'll wake up one day and act like we didn't see it coming, when we were just afraid to walk outside because it was a bit cold.",
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      "body": "Nice. You sort of find yourself in this situation, or I should actually say, I find myself in this situation, often with my son, who's nearly 6 and at the end of his first year of school. He's in that period of learning where he wants to appear to know everything and doesn't like to be corrected in any way, oddly more by me than anyone else, yet he also only wants to do his homework with me and not anyone else meaning I'm the only one that can correct him. Because of this adverse response to any form of correction, I've had to learn new ways to go about it so that I don't say something like 'actually the answer is' ...or 'no, try again' and so on. Which is something all the 'how not to stuff up your children' literature says you should go about it anyway so you aren't attaching a negative impression to learning and making mistakes, which makes sense. \nIt's a great skill to have though I think, especially as an adult because you really have to think your responses through and get creative and you can't just blurt words out on autopilot. It would be a wonderful world if everyone spoke to each other with the care that you're suggesting. And it does use more brain cells doesn't it but it's not like it's actually hard work. Maybe we should start a movement.",
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      "body": "Love it!",
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      "author": "breezin",
      "body": "I used to say :\nYou can not judge a man by what he has yet to do.\nMeaning : don't tell me, show me!\nGood intentions as you say are sometimes just not enough!",
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      "body": ">\" 'Hello, good to see you.'\n\n>This sentence can be said with the energy of anger, sweetness, sexiness, hatefulness, or coyness.\n\n>You can speak with any energetic quality, pervading the concert hall of your experience. The bodies in this hall -- yours and others' -- are resonated by the energy you offer.\n\n>Choose the energy of your speech like a musician selecting a song from his or her repertoire, for the sake of opening the audience.\" - David Deida, [*Instant Enlightenment*](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591795605/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mattrud-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1591795605&linkId=8cd35c64148272ac279fd11345dd0dd0)\n\nSomeone says something you know is wrong, and you perk up.\n\nHe or she might even be a friend. A smart friend. You want them to know they're wrong, so you can be on the same page.\n\n*Well, actually ...*\n\nAnd you've lost them.\n\nNobody wants to be told they were wrong.\n\nIf you know you're right and someone else is wrong, that means you were once in that person's shoes. You weren't born knowing what you know. When you open a sentence with *well, actually* ... you're giving off superiority vibes. *I know more than you.* No, you're just slightly ahead on the curve of life experience on this one minuscule topic in an infinite universe.\n\nIf you can shift from *well, actually*, to pure, open-minded curiosity ... *why do you think that?* ... leaving open the possibility of being wrong ... well, then, if you're right, you'll arrive on the same page. And if you're wrong, you'll arrive on the same page. More importantly, you'll both arrive at the truth by yourselves, on your own terms.\n\nSometimes good intentions aren't enough. Gentle arguing might come from a good place, but it doesn't work. If you talk from a pedestal, you're lecturing, not communicating. Realize you're on the same footing as everyone, and arrive at the truth together.",
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      "body": "Didn't suck. I like it. And its something almost every perfectionist needs to hear. There's a lot of 'stuff' circling at the moment in this topic and I like the saying, \"done is better than perfect\", partly because it applies to me perfectly. Another thought I had while reading this; you are a perfectionist, but are you also a multipotentialite? The opposite of a specialist. Go here www.puttylike.com for more info on what that means. When a friend sent me the Tedtalk by thr woman that runs this sight and said 'this is you' it was like all the fog blew away and rays of gold shone down on me from above and a unicorn who can make donuts appear on its horn appeared and said I'm your new pony.",
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      "body": "Will do. Thanks. I'm working on it :)",
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      "body": "@@ -3379,8 +3379,132 @@\n . Sorry.\n+%0A%0A***%0A*%5BMy book%5D(https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Author-Write-Your-ebook/dp/B01LWJVHX4/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8) might suck, too.*\n",
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      "body": ">*\" 'Real artists ship.' \" - Steve Jobs*\n\n>Could it be that the difference between a generalist and a dabbler is just saying 'this is as done as it's going to be' and shipping the work?\n\n>I think maybe yes. If you look at Jefferson, da Vinci, Jobs — they shipped. A lot. I think the dabbler moves on when he's 95% complete, so he never gets the completion, satisfaction, and feedback from completing a work.\n\n>Also, by completing a work in a field, you gain some renoqn and prestige, which makes it easier to get in touch with other successful people, which speeds your learning curve.\n\n>The dabbler moves on when things get tough. The generalist keeps going until he puts enough work out that he feels complete in a particular field, and then, and only then, is he on to the next thing.\n\n>And that's perhaps the difference. I'm still regularly surprised by which of my projects are winners and which are not. It's never the ones I guess or anticipate. By shipping, you have a chance to win. If you don't ship, you don't win. You don't even lose. You don't get the lessons, the feedback, or connect with other people in the field. You don't get the satisfaction and boost that comes from shipping.\" - Sebastian Marshall, [Ikigai](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006M9T8NI/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mattrud-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B006M9T8NI&linkId=ef192b6bd62141d165cbec4f6bbef508)\n\nMarshall discusses how we encourage people to specialize, because that leads to a clearer career arc  — but many of history's biggest contributions have come from generalists.\n\nA lot of people think they're generalists — great at nothing, but good at a lot of things, and making unique connections between those things — but most \"generalists\" are *dabblers*. They do nothing because they're trying to do everything.\n\nI have this problem. It sucks.\n\nHe concludes, and I agree, that the difference is *actually having something to show for your thinking and work*.\n\nMost smart, thoughtful people are perfectionists. Especially in today's oversaturated Internet age. You log on, see the world flooded with hordes of nonsense, and figure it's better to sit in your cave and ship nothing until you're *sure* it's useful. I admire people who think that way. I think that way.\n\nBut it's bullshit. As Marshall writes, you can't predict your best work. You can't wait until it's perfect to ship, because you can't know how perfect it is until you get feedback.\n\nIf you're not a perfectionist, maybe you need to ship less. Put more thought in. But most people are the opposite. They're already thoughtful, they just need to realize that making something bad, with good intentions, isn't a sin.\n\nMaybe this sounds mean, but realize I'm saying this to myself, too. Not shipping anything is arrogant and selfish. It claims that you — and me — are such geniuses that we know what's good and bad and perfect, and that if we just wait a bit longer, we'll win our Nobel Prize.\n\nExcept, really — we're just afraid of producing something not-great. Even though every successful generalist has 50 decent works and 100 pieces of crap for their one masterpiece.\n\nPeople can't see how great you are if you complete nothing.\n\nAnd you won't complete anything great if you don't complete a lot of mediocre work.\n\nSo get shipping once it's \"good enough.\"\n\nThis post might suck. Sorry.",
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      "author": "ebryans",
      "body": "Your force field must be down mate. Deep breath, pity the poor unfortunate, you do not know where they are at. Go hug a stranger and tell them why! Works for me.",
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      "body": "I received [a comment from @brookethechicken](https://steemit.com/life/@mattrud/stop-lying-you-love-soap-operas#@brookethechicken/re-mattrud-stop-lying-you-love-soap-operas-20161205t152313781z) on my post, [\"Stop Lying: You Love The Kardashians\"](https://steemit.com/life/@mattrud/stop-lying-you-love-soap-operas) about how everyone says they should quit social media, and many do ... but that it doesn't solve their problem of being addicted to negativity.\n\nI think there are two main negative aspects of social media.\n\n**1. Polluting your brain with negative, fear-inducing shit.**\n\nYou don't need to know every single thing Trump said, or what every media outlet paid to scare you thinks about it, in that moment. Yes, important news is important. But there are not 432 important things happening every day. Yet Facebook tells you that's the case, and that you'll die if you don't click RIGHT NOW.\n\n**2. Wasting your time with instant-gratification.**\n\nSocial media sites are engineered to be addicting. By highly-paid geniuses.\n\nI've personally unfollowed a handful of negative people on Facebook. But they're the minority. Most of my feed is filled with nice things — well, mostly pictures of lovely sunsets.\n\nThere is nothing wrong with looking at your friends' lovely pictures of lovely sunsets. It's a minor positive in your life.\n\nBut combine that with social media's addictive qualities, and you're not only spending an hour looking at 632 sunsets a day, but you're interrupting your work by checking to see if a lovely sunset has popped up in the last four minutes. And ruining your ability to concentrate.\n\nWhat's the solution? A social media digest would be good. Consume the sunsets in one sitting. As would breaking that addiction to checking for new sunsets — they're not going anywhere, we can see them when we're done working, talking, eating, whatever.\n\nSocial media is fine, except when it's negative, except when it's used as a crutch to keep from doing real work in real life or spending real time with real people. Really.\n\nOf course, this is annoying advice. Everyone knows this. Yet we do it. I do it.\n\nSo what's the solution?",
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      "author": "cheetah",
      "body": "Hi! I am a content-detection robot. I found similar content that readers might be interested in:\nhttp://www.mythsdreamssymbols.com/herojourney.html",
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      "body": ">\"Myths tell us how to confront and bear and interpret suffering, but they do not say that in life there can or should be no suffering.\n\n>When the Buddha declares there is escape from sorrow, the escape is Nirvana, which is not a place, like heaven, but a psychological state of mind in which you are released from desire and fear ... (and your life becomes — ) harmonious, centered, and affirmative (even with suffering).\n\n>The Buddhists speak of the bodhisattva — the one who knows immortality, yet voluntarily enters into the field of the fragmentation of time and participates willingly and joyfully in the sorrows of the world. And this means not only experiencing sorrows oneself but participating with compassion in the sorrows of others. Compassion is the awakening of the heart from bestial self-interest to humanity. The word 'compassion' means literally 'suffering with.' ... compassion condones suffering in that it recognizes, yes, suffering is life. \" - Joseph Campbell, [*The Power of Myth*](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385418868/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mattrud-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0385418868&linkId=2ff5927b81d8385d0a8cf6350f5d89a3)\n\nReading \"compassion means literally 'suffering with' struck me, oddly.\n\nMost of the time when I think I'm being compassionate, I'm just *giving a shit*. That's a good start, but it's not really *feeling* the other person's pain with them.\n\nMan, that's hard.\n\nIt's funny how words start with a literal meaning, then morph as society responds. [Merriam-Webster says](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/compassion) compassion means \"sympathetic *consciousness* of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.\" That's close to the original meaning. But consciousness, *awareness* of someone's pain, is not the same as *feeling* it.\n\nSeems like we've subtly rejected the possibility of feeling others' pain. That *giving a shit* is enough to be compassionate. You can be nice without being vulnerable. You can try to help, even if you don't really help.\n\nIn a society that worships the know-it-alls, rather than the people who don't-yet-know-but-want-to-learn — I'm not shocked. Being vulnerable means admitting you don't have it all figured out, and that makes people think less of you.\n\nJust because it shouldn't be that way doesn't mean that it isn't how it goes.",
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      "author": "mattrud",
      "body": "Haha ... thanks! I'm the same way. I've seen the Kardashian TV show a few times with friends, years back, and I think the archetype is interesting. I don't know if they're good or bad people. I don't care. The point is: They're on TV because they're dramatic. Like all reality TV and soap operas. A bit of real drama, and a lot of manufactured drama.\n\nHm. That Facebook thing is interesting. I've noticed the same thing, but I had a different conclusion. Personally, I've unfollowed a few select leeches ... but for me, most of my Facebook \"friends\" are good people, and not super-negative ... yet most of what they post on social media is inauthentic. So I feel weird unfollowing (but maybe I shouldn't). So I try to go on social media less, but I'm not too diligent about removing the social masturbators.\n\nI guess there are two problems with social media. 1) Seeing a lot of negativity, and 2) Seeing a lot of fine, but surface-level stuff that should have its dose limited. Because we use it as a distraction from doing real work, or spending real time with real people.\n\nThat was fun to think about. Thanks for stirring that up. You were more articulate than you think -- hope you feel better!",
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      "body": "I loved this one. And I can say with honesty that I don't love the kardashians or even really know who they are because I dont watch tv and I dont really follow any sort of news or media things where they come up. I only found out recently that one of them, maybe the dad, became a woman and everyone thinks its ace and is giving him...her, awards or something. I'm not really clear on it all. I read books. No kardashians in Great Expectations! But your post reminded me of something that popped up on my fb 'this thing that happened a couple of years ago' post thing that pops up, with a photo of my son when he was about 2 and a half and being a bit of a nutbag, and I'd included this little bit of writing with the photo at the time. It was about how everyone at that time, seemed to be going on these fb diets, logging off for a month or whatever because they felt too consumed by all the shit that they were seeing and it was getting them down or they were sick of it or whatever the case happened to be. I'd noticed this as a trend. In the post I said that the thing that I found odd was that they were choosing to leave fb for a while to clear their head or just take a break, and I wondered why they didn't just change the sort of things they were seeing in their feed. If your only getting shit and negativity and drama in your feed, its because you've surrounded yourself with that stuff. So why didn't they just unfollow those things, and instead find and follow the stuff that gave them interesting or uplifting or stuff that made them want to dance naked with their neighbors and sing kumbaya? I think its sort of the same principle as your comments above about drama. I dont think i'll ever understand why people feel they are trapped in a dark elevator with these negative influences and that they cant get away from them. Thanks for reminding us all that we can. That we have choices. Some people really need constant reminders about that sort of thing.\nPs, sorry for the less articulate rambling of this than it normally is, its 2.21am and I'm still awake with a head cold and that thing that feels like a hairy golf ball in my throat and I'm pretty such the 'nasal congestion' is impeding the oxygen getting to my brain.",
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      "body": ">\"You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.\" - Robert Pirsig, [Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060589469/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mattrud-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0060589469&linkId=1d2fd5bbecc93b4fa8d086a40054f809)\n\nDogma is a bandaid for uncertainty.\n\nAfraid of death? Proselytize your religion, or your insistence that we just rot in the ground ...\n\nAfraid of being yourself? Pick your party, industry, tribe, *identity* (businessman, artist, lover of success, hater of money) ...\n\nWorried you have nothing to say? Gather a bunch of facts, get a certification and call yourself an \"expert.\"\n\nNone of these things is better than another. There are a million brands of the same insecurity. Almost everybody has their own.\n\nEither we accept that we don't know what the hell we're doing, or we deny, deny, deny, and restrict ourselves through dogma.",
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      "body": "Love to hear that!\n\nTotally agreed. I think it initially comes from the top-down, as you're saying ... but in the age of the Internet, it *shouldn't* take much to become aware of this and break the cycle. And yet most of us never open our eyes, or we do, but refuse to admit what we see because it's uncertain and uncomfortable.",
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      "body": "I've walked away from all my drama addict friends and family. For the last 15 years I've never been so at peace with myself. Living drama free helps me deal with drama I can't avoid. Excellent insight! Drama addicts are easily manipulated too ;-) trauma conditioning through corporate/government sponsored media/entertainment makes great consumers and simple minded citizens.",
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      "body": "Everybody loves to hate soap operas, Kardashians, reality TV.\n\n... and yet everyone watches them. Hate-watching.\n\nIf your friend is watching, you need to be up on the drama. You need to take sides. Who sucks the most?\n\nWalk around. Look at everyone. They're acting out their own unnecessary soap operas. They claim they don't like soap operas. But they write and star in them. For free!\n\nWhen you're playing the same game as everyone, drama is guaranteed. But you can play your own game. Write your own show. Reality shows don't *need* unnecessary drama.\n\nImagine a reality show where people were happy and nice to each other? That'd be boring. Or would it?\n\nI'm not sure if this makes any sense.\n\nI am sure that breaking our addiction to drama would go a long way.  We could stop seeking it everywhere, if we'd admit we're addicted.",
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