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      "body": "Hello dear friend! Hope you're well! It's a pity that you haven't been walking around #steemit for a few days!\n\nI hope you can come back. It is not just a question that persistence could generate some extra profit, but on this platform there is a beautiful community of people ready to welcome you and help you grow.\n\nIn addition, there are many contests that you can have fun with, and communities in which you can participate:\n\n\nFor music, check out **[Music For Steem 🎵 ](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-137433)**.\n\nFor writing, [Writing & Reviews Community]( https://steemit.com/trending/hive-111825).\n\n**[Steemit Nursery]( https://steemit.com/trending/hive-142140)** is a community for you, as Steemit Newborn, to be accompanied at the beginning of your Steemit journey.\n\nFor photography, **[World of Xpilar]( https://steemit.com/trending/hive-185836)** hosts many photography contests.\n\n\nPlease follow @steemitblog for the latest update and news on steem and @steemingcurators for Steem Community contest and challenges.\n\nHave a nice day!\n\nThe Steemit Team",
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      "body": "Can we just cancel 2020 and get to 2021?\n\nI have talked about my dads passing in a ton of detail here, but what is making it worse is that all the things I would do to reconnect with my community are out because of Corona.\n\nNo running events....\nNo wrestling...\nNo meeting friends for movies..\nNo travel...\n\nSigh.\n\nI am finding solace in putting more time in my running because I can run for me, but its hard to be with my biggest network of friends.  We all talk on socials and zoom but it is just not the same. \n\nLife always changes, I know that, its just hard to keep up with all of the changes when we can connect in person. Everything seems to be dividing us, people are not listening to one another, words can be mis-understood, tone can be mis-understood. \n\nIt just feels like life is canceled as we know it and this new, not so nice replacement has come. \n\nWe need connection, we as humans crave it. We want to be part of a group or a family.  For me wrestling and running are my family groups, so are the people I meet on my travels. \n\nI know this is me just grieving how much life has changed, but its been a hard year and way too many changes. \n\nWill try and start sharing some more positive soon \n\n\n![240_F_220219046_DH3kyI7dEGzcWUbJ8r9I2T2iSp6f82FB.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQyWs2tBzqQamniNGC1VRwHF5b22iDxYscH7GZJmvrj5P/240_F_220219046_DH3kyI7dEGzcWUbJ8r9I2T2iSp6f82FB.jpg)",
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      "body": "\"I am still swimming\"\n\nThat is the answer to when people ask me how I am doing. Its been close to three weeks since I lost my dad, and I have come to terms with a lot of things in three weeks and it has been a lot.  There is still a lot to deal with. I  miss him, especially in the mornings when we would sit and have coffee and talk about whatever the day had in store.\n\nBut one thing I know about my dad is he would be pissed at me if I wallowed in self-pity. But it still does not change the fact I miss him. \n\nDeath is different then I thought it would be for me. As I said in the previous blog, I figured this would destroy me but its opened me up to a lot of things and a lot of realizations about my own life. I am really learning who the people are in my life that matter and who my real friends are. Who are the people who are making sure am okay while I try and help support my mom. \n\nA friend has been talking and supporting me through this and I have talked a lot about how taboo death is. And how for a lot of us there is a certain amount of fear involved. My dad had talked about it a few times as his health declined, he was afraid of the future, but he hated how his body or his weight betrayed him (I might write a piece on how weight played into all this later). But he was also afraid of death.\n\nMaybe for some death is just the new start. My hope through this is it is for him. Living life the way it was for him was not working for any of us. We all felt helpless with the condition of his body, how he could not control his coughing but also how he was unable to find it in him to ask for help. \n\nBut in all this all I can think about is how he would want me to keep swimming.\n\nHe had gentle wisdom always and I think that's what I miss most, I am realizing the wisdom is with me and I will be okay. I just have to keep swimming.\n\nDont ask me what I was wearing in this. I still dont know.\n\n![Screenshot 2020-08-11 at 9.30.50 AM.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVZoh1CocBdjtCUVHqvE7GpUYnf36HRigqNsp6PAYzWk2/Screenshot%202020-08-11%20at%209.30.50%20AM.png)",
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      "body": "My father also died three years ago so I know that there are no words to alleviate such sadness. All I can tell you is to keep his memory alive in your heart, especially those moments when they were happy. Wherever he is, he's probably resting from his illness. May God give you strength and wisdom to face this moment. A big hug",
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      "body": "Oh... sorry for the loss.. my condolence",
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      "body": "It's so sad. Sorry for the loss of such a great person, friend, and leader of your life. One thing you should know is that life continues. Thanks so much for being strong because it's important to stay strong in such tough circumstances because they are just bound to happen to every human being. I remember the time I lost my dad 16years ago, I was just 13years old. I had to stand strong with my little sister.",
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      "body": "I’m really sorry for your loss, I’ve been through that a couple of years ago and I understand what you’re going through right now.\nEverything may feel so out of place and lonely from one moment to another. This is the time for you to be extra kind with yourself, to be surrounded by those you love, to be supported by them and to let yourself get through the grief. Take as much time as you need to process this.\nHe will always be there for you, the souls of our beloved ones never leave us. You’ll feel him when you need it the most and in those happy moments he will share them with you as well. He may not be in our physical world right now, but he will always find a way to let your heart and soul know that he’s by your side, trust me!\nLots of love 💜",
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      "body": "Death is heartbreaking. But it wakes you up to. \n\nA week ago today we found my father in his bed. He had passed away in the night after a long battle with illness.  For the last fifteen years he had been fighting issues with his kidney, heart, lungs and lymphodema. Weight also played a part in his battle.\n\nI honestly thought losing my dad would destroy me. We had been through all the possible outcomes so many times, at least six times we had been told he would not make it through the night.  His battle is over and that is the best I can ask for. \n\nOf course, I am sad, of course grief is involved.  But something else I am understanding through this process is the power of joy and the power of shame. And how illness can tilt the scales. \n\nI was going through everyone's photos to see if I could find the right photo for his obituary. I had so many from my childhood, so many from Christmas at my grandma's or different other activities but I could find very little to nothing from the last 10-15 years. \n\nMy father was ashamed of what his weight and his illness had done to his body. He hated the idea anyone would take photos of him, even if it was an amazing moment, or a moment full of joy. His illness was always there, his illness was always placing a dark cloud on the situation. \n\nThere is no doubt now he resented his body. He resented the fact our life rotated around illness and doctors. I knew all our local hospital layouts by heart. Doctors and nurses knew me by first name. His health always was the overriding concern in everything we did. He hated it, and honestly so did I.  \n\nBut I will loved the moments we had. The mornings drinking coffee and talking about life. The dreaming of what could be, debating on wrestling, etc. Our mutual love of music and kites. \n\nBut we have no photos.\n\nBecause of his illness.\n\nWe could not do the things that brought him joy.\n\nBecause of his illness.\n\nWe have no really cool photos from the last 10 plus years. \n\nBecause of his illness.\n\nHe will not be there to walk me down the aisle if I ever get married. \n\nBecause of his illness.\n\nHe stopped living.\n\nBecause of his illness. \n\nOne thing this has taught me is regret is something you do not need in your life. He lived his life with so much regret that it now really sadness me. Its also taught me to be an advocate with my health and be better about taking care of myself. \n\n\n\nThis is one of the few pics I have of us together. \n\n\n![2020-07-27_102379.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYUsjhAL92ALrNDzyMvHyb9GfMMbykYd6JAPAJuqB3KGU/2020-07-27_102379.jpg)",
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