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      "body": "@@ -4140,16 +4140,1123 @@\n  ones)%0A%0A\n+Note though, and this is important, that you do not justify or rationalize thoughts, emotions or behaviors - for within doing so you create the risk of changing their nature/quality or what they actually say about **you**. This means that if you for example experience jealousy (and note this down in your note-app for example), that you don't add anything that might justify, change or explain away your experience (for example: %22I was jealous, but that was because he acted suspicious%22). This is a no no, for what you do in such a moment is that you make *another* responsible for you experiences/behaviors - explaining away your own very self that reacted in that moment. Remember that all your reactions are **yours** and tell everything about you, and essentially very little to nothing about someone else. So stick to noting down your experience/thought/emotion/behavior. You can of course add a 'dry' description of the situation (which is actually an added extra bonus point) that led up to your reaction - but never blame or make someone else responsible for you own states. So keep that in mind.%0A%0A\n Some mig\n",
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      "body": "@@ -806,16 +806,20 @@\n you feel\n+ now\n ? What g\n@@ -898,17 +898,17 @@\n ourself?\n-%0A\n+ \n What do \n@@ -931,68 +931,70 @@\n and \n-how do you perceive the world, yourself and others?%0A%0AAre you\n+what does that say about YOU?%0A%0ADo you experience emotions like\n  res\n@@ -998,16 +998,20 @@\n restless\n+ness\n , suspic\n@@ -1016,20 +1016,17 @@\n icio\n-us\n+n\n , ang\n-ry or\n+er,\n  che\n@@ -1034,36 +1034,67 @@\n rful\n-?%0ADo you have thoughts like:\n+ness, or something else?%0AWhat do your thoughts say? Perhaps\n  %22I \n@@ -1210,17 +1210,21 @@\n  well%22?%0A\n-D\n+And d\n o certai\n@@ -1457,17 +1457,16 @@\n b.jpg)%0A%0A\n-%0A\n Taking t\n@@ -1522,16 +1522,25 @@\n t start,\n+ as it is\n  the fir\n@@ -1623,16 +1623,25 @@\n urself -\n+ and this\n  by doin\n@@ -1693,23 +1693,28 @@\n her \n-the development\n+and spur the process\n  of \n@@ -1786,17 +1786,13 @@\n elf \n-REGULARLY\n+OFTEN\n . Fr\n@@ -2042,17 +2042,17 @@\n R DAILY \n-/\n+&\n  COMMON \n@@ -2099,16 +2099,36 @@\n OU ARE%0A%0A\n+Sounds logical? ... \n So if yo\n@@ -2166,16 +2166,28 @@\n might be\n+ (partially)\n  describ\n@@ -2192,16 +2192,17 @@\n ibed as \n+'\n an anxio\n@@ -2210,16 +2210,17 @@\n s person\n+'\n . If hav\n@@ -2252,16 +2252,20 @@\n oughts, \n+and/\n or behav\n@@ -2310,18 +2310,17 @@\n fied as \n-a \n+'\n competit\n@@ -2326,287 +2326,94 @@\n tive\n- person. Etc.%0A%0ANote: within all of this, remember... TO ALLOW WHATEVER COMES UP. %0A!!!DO NOT PUSH AWAY WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE!!!%0AYou gotta be 100%25 real with yourself. Dare to look into what is not so pretty about yourself.%0ATHAT IS WHERE YOU WILL FIND SOME DEEPER TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF\n+'. If you are joking around the whole time, then one could say you are a 'joker'. Etc.\n %0A%0ANo\n@@ -6913,236 +6913,199 @@\n ns)%0A\n-%0A\n * \n-Take as many trials/samples/checks as you can.  The more trials, the more reliable your Self-data-set ;) %0A* Be real with yourself, and don't censor your sh*t (!)%0A%0A* Find recurring patterns of emotions, energies, thoughts etc.\n+Find & label recurring patterns of emotions, energies, thoughts etc. (e.g. 'I am irritated quite often', 'I think every day about organizing things around me', 'I love to play with my dog')\n %0A* A\n@@ -7423,14 +7423,699 @@\n s%0A%0A*\n- \n+*\n NOTE\n- \n+S**%0A* Take as many trials/samples/checks as you can.  The more trials, the more reliable your Self-data-set ;) %0A* Be real with yourself, and don't censor your sh*t (!) This is really important, as you want an **honest and reliable answer**, otherwise you are just fooling yourself and are building/strengthening a 'false image / ego'; i.e. a distorted self-perception that will catch up with you sooner or later. So be real with yourself and do not hide from what is not so pretty about yourself. You should at least be equally interested in what makes you 'good' as what makes you 'bad'. Also because seeing the 'bad' gives you the opportunity to change the 'bad' into the 'good! Yay.%0A\n * If\n",
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      "title": "Who am I? A process of finding it out NOW",
      "body": "-------------------\n\n*This post is about how to find out 'who you are' (at this point in time), simply by regularly assessing & investigating in who you are in your day-to-day life. In doing so, you will be able to discern and interpret recurring patterns that come forth from your regular self-analysis; patterns that denote, and thus give you an answer to, the question of who you are.*\n\n-------------------\n\nMany of us wander around nowadays with truly a head-splitting matter; an existential question to which, according to some, finding the answer to is the most difficult quest in life. And it is:\n\nWHO AM I?\n\nWhile there are long, complicated and very complex answers to that one - there is also one very simple answer, and it lies in the following question:\n\nWHO ARE YOU **NOW**?\n\nMeaning, how do you feel? What goes through your mind? What is your attitude towards others, life, and yourself?\nWhat do you experience, and how do you perceive the world, yourself and others?\n\nAre you restless, suspicious, angry or cheerful?\nDo you have thoughts like: \"I can't trust them\", \"He/she won't like me\", \"People are naturally helpful\" or \"Of course I am going to do this well\"?\nDo certain thoughts go with certain emotions, and vice versa?\n\n![37545736336_93f1591985_b.jpg]( https://cdn.steemitimages.com/407x271/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSFK4rtixrqLdw1z66e7UkpfzgwKfUjWmRyRdW8CDZC7m/37545736336_93f1591985_b.jpg)\n\n\nTaking this first step of checking yourself NOW is a great start, the first and 'small' but potentially huge life-changing step of getting to know yourself - by doing some good, decent self-assessment.\n\nTo further the development of answering your burning existential question, start checking yourself REGULARLY. From here, you should at a certain point (and in not too long) be able to detect and expose the RECURRING STATES / PATTERNS that define your daily state of mind/being. This, logically, is a GREAT KEY in finding out who you are. Why?\n\nBECAUSE YOUR DAILY / COMMON STATE OF MIND DETERMINES & DEFINES WHO YOU ARE\n\nSo if you feel anxious a lot, then you might be described as an anxious person. If have a lot of competitive thoughts, or behave competitively - then you can be typified as a competitive person. Etc.\n\nNote: within all of this, remember... TO ALLOW WHATEVER COMES UP. \n!!!DO NOT PUSH AWAY WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE!!!\nYou gotta be 100% real with yourself. Dare to look into what is not so pretty about yourself.\nTHAT IS WHERE YOU WILL FIND SOME DEEPER TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF\n\nNow, this looks straightforward - and very obvious perhaps. And as it may seem / be obvious, there may be a bit more to it than you think. For being introspective (i.e. checking / investigating what goes on inside of you) ON A FREQUENT BASIS might reveal more of yourself than you might initially think.\n\nYou might find out that you are a constellation of different 'personalities', or roles, in different situations and/or different people. You might for example find out that you are a whole lot more colorful as a person than you initially thought, wearing a manifold of robes within your being and expression during the day. Or you might for example label and think of yourself as an 'anxious person' or even a 'coward'. Yet, with being keen and aware, you might find out that you display forms of courage in some sets of circumstances - so that you find that you are perhaps more courageous than you think (and so actually also are / have the potential to be a courageous person) - next to being a loving person, a jealous person etc. Remember and realize that we are 'multi-dimensional beings' wearing many hats - and seeing those many 'hats' as personalities in the self-reflective mirror of our growing self-awareness is a deeply intriguing thing to witness.\n\nYou might start to see that you are a being with different personality 'layers' - with some dominant / major personality traits, and some offshoots or minor ones that complement them / you further; e.g.: \n1) 'caring', 'introvert', 'hardworking', 'creative', 'socially anxious', 'sensitive'\n2) 'self-conscious', 'meticulous', 'warm', 'self-critical', 'expressive' (in art and with close ones)\n3) ....\n(Where 1 stands for the major ones and 2 & 3 for minor ones)\n\nSome might ask: why not take a personality test online? Won't that give me a quick answer? Well, there are multiple issues with (online) personality tests - but the most prominent drawback is that is a quick and dirty typification of who you 'are', pushing you into a straight-jacket version of who you supposedly would be according to that specific test. But... Different types of tests give you different answers of who you 'are' ... so who are you then really? \n\nWith you checking and defining yourself you have a far more person-specific and accurate tool - given you are specific & accurate in your assessment of course (as defined per your -self-honesty). And, let's not forget, with checking and assessing yourself you set the good habit of training the skill of self-awareness. So that's that.\n\nOn that note: progressing with your self-awareness experience, you will start to identify all sorts of 'subtle' states playing within you; states you were never really fully aware of, but which are always/often there nevertheless - buried somewhere in the background of your daily mind. These states are, despite their subtlety, VERY DEFINING FOR WHO YOU ARE - influencing you as background processes.\n\nIt is like finding out that there are these strings, like those from a spiderweb - almost invisible to the eye, yet strong and sticky - fanning out from the center of who you are; from the light-hub or your 'normal' / 'daily' consciousness. These strings pull, direct & nudge you into all sorts of directions - contributing to how you think, feel and act in the end without you (previously) being aware of it. But who or what is then the queen spider of your self-directive and -awareness? Well, that's an issue for another day. (Spoiler: it's US, not some enigmatic mystic force or something, thank God)\n\nAnyhow, let us not get too much into foreign things; let's start with directing your attention/awareness inward - refocusing on asking & assessing what goes on within you NOW, at this moment. As said this will, over time, give you a superb overall idea of what is going on inside of you - and thus giving you an answer of who you are AT THIS POINT OF TIME IN YOUR LIFE.\n\n(I am saying ‘at this point in time in your life’, for... who you are now does not have to define who you CAN BE later on. You can change, of course. But the whole point of going from who you are now to who you can be etc. is a longer discussion – which will be another point for another blog.)\n\nSo for now, let's keep it simple yet profound: take the first steps\n* Check yourself, regularly, asking: \"WHAT IS GOING ON WITHIN ME NOW?\" (thoughts, emotions, energies etc.)\n* Note down your findings (do this, it will help you memorize your states over time, enabling you to see patterns)\n\n* Take as many trials/samples/checks as you can.  The more trials, the more reliable your Self-data-set ;) \n* Be real with yourself, and don't censor your sh*t (!)\n\n* Find recurring patterns of emotions, energies, thoughts etc.\n* And ask yourself: \"WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT ME?\"\n* See if you can catch your answer into a word that could describe a personality trait ('adjectives' or 'characters'; e.g. 'concerned', 'friendly', '(a) joker', '(a) whiner')\n* OPTIONAL: create different 'layers' / hierarchies / of major & minor personality traits\n\n* NOTE * If it all gets a bit much, focus **primarily on the (recurring) states where you experience STRONG ENERGIES / EMOTIONS**; those will tell you volumes about yourself, and strongly dictate who we are within ourselves and ultimately in our expression/behavior. Get those first, you want 'em on top in your self-dictionary.\n\nNow you start to see what you were aiming for, as you start to find out who you are (at this point in time). This apparent 'superhuman' achievement is thus summarized in a few simple steps: i.e. checking and defining your daily state of mind/being + finding & seeing the recurring patterns of what goes on within you. Voilà. Yes, it takes some practice - but you can definitely get there with some practice!\n\nThanks for reading, good luck and enjoy!\nIf you have any questions or comments, please post 'em.\n\nResteeming appreciated.\n\nCiao!",
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      "title": "Who am I? A process of finding it out NOW",
      "body": "---------\nThis post is about how to find out 'who you are' (at this point in time), simply by regularly assessing & investigating in who you are in your day-to-day life. In doing so, you will be able to discern and interpret recurring patterns that come forth from your regular self-analysis; patterns that denote, and thus give you an answer to, the question of who you are.\n---------\n\nMany of us wander around nowadays with truly a head-splitting matter; an existential question to which, according to some, finding the answer to is the most difficult quest in life. And it is:\n\nWHO AM I?\n\nWhile there are long, complicated and very complex answers to that one - there is also one very simple answer, and it lies in the following question:\n\nWHO ARE YOU **NOW**?\n\nMeaning, how do you feel? What goes through your mind? What is your attitude towards others, life, and yourself?\nWhat do you experience, and how do you perceive the world, yourself and others?\n\nAre you restless, suspicious, angry or cheerful?\nDo you have thoughts like: \"I can't trust them\", \"He/she won't like me\", \"People are naturally helpful\" or \"Of course I am going to do this well\"?\nDo certain thoughts go with certain emotions, and vice versa?\n\n![37545736336_93f1591985_b.jpg]( https://cdn.steemitimages.com/407x271/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSFK4rtixrqLdw1z66e7UkpfzgwKfUjWmRyRdW8CDZC7m/37545736336_93f1591985_b.jpg)\n\n\nTaking this first step of checking yourself NOW is a great start, the first and 'small' but potentially huge life-changing step of getting to know yourself - by doing some good, decent self-assessment.\n\nTo further the development of answering your burning existential question, start checking yourself REGULARLY. From here, you should at a certain point (and in not too long) be able to detect and expose the RECURRING STATES / PATTERNS that define your daily state of mind/being. This, logically, is a GREAT KEY in finding out who you are. Why?\n\nBECAUSE YOUR DAILY / COMMON STATE OF MIND DETERMINES & DEFINES WHO YOU ARE\n\nSo if you feel anxious a lot, then you might be described as an anxious person. If have a lot of competitive thoughts, or behave competitively - then you can be typified as a competitive person. Etc.\n\nNote: within all of this, remember... TO ALLOW WHATEVER COMES UP. \n!!!DO NOT PUSH AWAY WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE!!!\nYou gotta be 100% real with yourself. Dare to look into what is not so pretty about yourself.\nTHAT IS WHERE YOU WILL FIND SOME DEEPER TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF\n\nNow, this looks straightforward - and very obvious perhaps. And as it may seem / be obvious, there may be a bit more to it than you think. For being introspective (i.e. checking / investigating what goes on inside of you) ON A FREQUENT BASIS might reveal more of yourself than you might initially think.\n\nYou might find out that you are a constellation of different 'personalities', or roles, in different situations and/or different people. You might for example find out that you are a whole lot more colorful as a person than you initially thought, wearing a manifold of robes within your being and expression during the day. Or you might for example label and think of yourself as an 'anxious person' or even a 'coward'. Yet, with being keen and aware, you might find out that you display \nforms of courage in some sets of circumstances - so that you find that you are perhaps more courageous than you think (and so actually also are a courageous person!) - next to being a loving person, a jealous person etc. Remember and realize that we are 'multi-dimensional beings' wearing many hats - and seeing those many 'hats' as personalities in the self-reflective mirror of our growing self-awareness is a deeply intriguing thing to witness.\n\nYou might start to see that you are a being with different personality 'layers' - with some dominant / major personality traits, and some offshoots or minor ones that complement them / you further; e.g.: \n1) 'caring', 'introvert', 'hardworking', 'creative' & 'sensitive'\n2) 'self-conscious', 'socially anxious', 'meticulous', 'warm', 'expressive' (in art and with close ones)\n3) 'fashionable', \n(Where 1 stands for the major ones and 2 & 3 for minor ones)\nNote that you can go 'crazy' with making as many (sub)divisions as you want, increasing the detail of your Self-analysis based on the frequency of occurrence of certain traits (as defined by their thought/emotions/behaviors) - or keep it simple and go for the major and minor ones\n\nSome might ask: why not take a personality test online? Won't that give me a quick answer? Well, there are multiple issues with (online) personality tests - but the most prominent drawback is that is a quick and dirty typification of who you 'are', pushing you into a straight-jacket version of who you supposedly would be according to that specific test. But... Different types of tests give you different answers of who you 'are' ... so who are you then really?\nWith you checking and defining yourself you have a far more person-specific and accurate tool - given you are specific & accurate in your assessment of course (as defined per your -self-honesty). And, let's not forget, with checking and assessing yourself you set the good habit of training the skill of self-awareness. So that's that.\n\nOn that note: progressing with your self-awareness experience, you will start to identify all sorts of 'subtle' states playing within you; states you were never really fully aware of, but which are always/often there nevertheless - buried somewhere in the background of your daily mind. These states are, despite their subtlety, VERY DEFINING FOR WHO YOU ARE - influencing you as background processes.\n\nIt is like finding out that there are these strings, like those from a spiderweb - almost invisible to the eye, yet strong and sticky - fanning out from the center of who you are; from the light-hub or your 'normal' / 'daily' consciousness. These strings pull, direct & nudge you into all sorts of directions - contributing to how you think, feel and act in the end without you (previously) being aware of it. But who or what is then the queen spider of your self-directive and -awareness? Well, that's an issue for another day. (Spoiler: it's US, not some enigmatic mystic force or something, thank God)\n\nAnyhow, let us not get too much into foreign things; let's start with directing your attention/awareness inward - refocusing on asking & assessing what goes on within you NOW, at this moment. As said this will, over time, give you a superb overall idea of what is going on inside of you - and thus giving you an answer of who you are AT THIS POINT OF TIME IN YOUR LIFE.\n\n(I am saying ‘at this point in time in your life’, for... who you are now does not have to define who you CAN BE later on. You can change, of course. But the whole point of going from who you are now to who you can be etc. is a longer discussion – which will be another point for another blog.)\n\nSo for now, let's keep it simple yet profound: take the first steps\n* Check yourself, regularly, asking: \"WHAT IS GOING ON WITHIN ME NOW?\" (thoughts, emotions, energies etc.)\n* Note down your findings (do this, it will help you memorize your states over time, enabling you to see patterns)\n\n* Take as many trials/samples/checks as you can.  The more trials, the more reliable your Self-data-set ;) \n* Be real with yourself, and don't censor your sh*t (!)\n\n* Find recurring patterns of emotions, energies, thoughts etc.\n* And ask yourself: \"WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT ME?\"\n* See if you can catch your answer into a word that could describe a personality trait ('adjectives' or 'characters'; e.g. 'concerned', 'friendly', '(a) joker', '(a) whiner')\n* OPTIONAL: create different 'layers' / hierarchies / of major & minor personality traits\n\n* NOTE * If it all gets a bit much, focus **primarily on the (recurring) states where you experience STRONG ENERGIES / EMOTIONS**; those will tell you volumes about yourself, and strongly dictate who we are within ourselves and ultimately in our expression/behavior. Get those first, you want 'em on top in your self-dictionary.\n\nNow you start to see what you were aiming for, as you start to find out who you are (at this point in time). This apparent 'superhuman' achievement is thus summarized in a few simple steps: i.e. checking and defining your daily state of mind/being + finding & seeing the recurring patterns of what goes on within you. Voilà. Yes, it takes some practice - but you can definitely get there with some practice!\n\nThanks for reading, good luck and enjoy!\nIf you have any questions or comments, please post 'em.\n\nResteeming appreciated.\n\nCiao!",
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      "body": "This is a well detailed write up,  most of us tends to live in the past unknowingly,  instead of forgetting the past and live the present.  With that they continue to feel the guilt and live the guilt. Good one",
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      "title": "NEVER-EVER AGAIN: THE CYCLE OF GUILT THAT KEEPS US TRAPPED IN THE THINGS WE HATE TO DO",
      "body": "HI GUYS, I HAD AN INSIGHT THE OTHER DAY, WHICH 'BLEW ME A BIT OFF MY STOOL' SO TO SPEAK. IT'S ABOUT HOW GUILT AND SELF-JUDGEMENT RELATE TO OUR DESIRE AND TENDENCY TO (RE)COMMIT OUR  NAUGHTY DEEDS & BAD BEHAVIORS. AND OF COURSE, WITH HAVING AN INTEREST IN KINDLING MANKIND'S PULL TOWARDS SELF-INSIGHT - I CHOSE TO POST IT HERE, AS A BLOG AND A VLOG. HOPE YOU GET SOMETHING GOOD OUT OF IT! :)\n\nHERE IS THE LINK TO THE VIDEO I MADE\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cLagz9x6u4&list=PLwkD1L56U_VBRwPq8grnsJpBaPZAwd-G1\n\nAND READ ON FOR THE CONCISE BLOG VERSION!\n\n(NOTE: I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY USE OF CAPITALS IN THIS ONE - IT JUST HAPPENED TO BE SO!!!! ;))\n\nOK, LET'S GO.\n\n---------------\n\nGUILT = SOMETHING DONE YOU ‘DIDN’T WANT TO DO’\n\nOFTEN ‘THAT WHAT YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO’ = SOMETHING YOU _DID_ WANT TO DO --- OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T BE TEMPTED TO DO IT IN THE END\n\nI.E. ‘ACCIDENTS’ DON’T HAPPEN FOR NO REASON\n\nSO GUILT => SECRET (DARKER?) DESIRE MANIFESTED\nSO, IN THE PERIOD WHERE YOU DIDN’T DO THE GUILTY THING (CAN BE OVER A PROLONGED PERIOD OF TIME) YOU SECRETLY _DESIRED_ TO DO IT, BUT WERE ABLE TO ‘RESTRAIN YOURSELF’\n\n“I WANT BUT I CAN’T / MAY NOT”\n\nIN THE PERIOD OF SELF-RESTRAINT, YOU MOST PROBABLY SUPPRESSED YOUR DESIRE / GUILTY PLEASURE (E.G. FORCING OUT OF AWARENESS, TELLING YOURSELF IT DOESN’T EXIST, ‘SUBLIMATING’ / TRANFORMING IT INTO WORKAHOLISM, PIOUSNESS ETC.)\n\n_THIS HAS LED TO A BUILD-UP OF SUPPRESSED ENERGY_\nWHICH SOONER OR LATER NEEDS TO BE VENTED, AND COME OUT, IN SOME WAY – AS ‘EVERYTHING NEEDS TO PAYED ITS DUE’\n(ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE ‘WEAK-WILLED’, AS IN DRUNK, EMOTIONAL ETC.)\n\n_WHEN RELEASING THE SUPRESSED ENERGY AS THE DESIRE, IT TENDS TO BE STRONG_ (‘EXTREME’, ‘OUT OF CONTROL’ ETC.) – THIS AS IT HAS BEEN BUILT UP OVER A LONGER PERIOD OF TIME, INTENSIFYING ITSELF\n\nSO THE SUPPRESSION OF THE DESIRE BEING DONE…\nIT IS NOTHING BUT ‘NATURAL’ AND BOUND TO COME OUT AT SOME POINT\nWHY?\n\nAGAIN, BECAUSE IT HAS BECOME STRONG OVER TIME, WITH ALL THE ENERGETIC SUPPRESSION THAT COMES WITH IT – TO SUCH A POINT THAT THE BUBBLE HAD TO BURST AT SOME TIME\n\nNOW THEN. WHY IS GUILT A PROBLEM WITHIN THIS?\nWOULDN’T IT BE OUR MORAL COMPASS THAT GUIDES US IN NOT DOING IT AGAIN?\n\nWELL, NO. BECAUSE GUILT PRACTICALLY ALWAYS INCLUDES SELF-JUDGMENT.\n\nAND THIS SELF-JUDGMENT OFTEN COMES WITH __*MORE SUPPRESSION*__\n(“HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS, NEXT TIME I WILL TRY EVEN HARDER TO NOT DO IT. I WILL TIE A ROPE AROUND MY WILLY, AND PUNISH MYSELF EVEN HARDER!!”)\n\nMORE SUPPRESSION WILL LEAD TO MORE ENERGETIC BUILD-UP AND JUST ENSURES WE WILL, OVER TIME, **DO THE EXACT SAME THING AGAIN** – USUALLY WHEN OUR WILL-POWER IS DOWN AND WE ‘CANNOT RESTRAIN OURSELVES ANY LONGER’\n\nFOR: SUPPRESSION INTENSIFIED = MORE ENERGY DIRECTED TOWARDS / INTO IT (TO ‘CONTROL IT’) => SUBCONSCIOUS GETS MESSAGE: “THIS IS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT!!” => SUBCONSCIOUS FLAGS IT AS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT => SUBCONSCIOUS KEEPS REMINDING YOU THE ‘DESIRE’ IS FUCKING IMPORTANT => DESIRE POPS UP MORE AND MORE AS IT IS SUPPRESSED MORE AND MORE => INCREASED LIKELIHOOD DESIRE IS ACTED OUT, FOR OUR WILL IS LIMITED AND THE FLESH IS WEAK\n\nSO: MORE ENERGY INVESTED = MORE ‘GROWTH’ (OF WHATEVER YOU INVEST ENERGY IN) (+ WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS)\n\n**THE SYSTEM:**\nDESIRE (GUILTY PLEASURE) => SUPPRESSION => ENERGETIC BUILD-UP => WEAK MOMENT => EXPLOSION\n=> GUILT => SUPPRESSION ++ => ENERGETIC BUILD-UP ++ => WEAK MOMENT => EXPLOSION ++\n\nSO IF ANYTHING, **GUILT (AND ITS ACCOMPANYING SELF-JUDGMENT) WILL ONLY _INCREASE_ THE LIKELIHOOD OF MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN, INSTEAD OF LESSEN IT** – AND PERHAPS EVEN LEADS TO MORE EXTREME ‘PURGES’ OF THE BUILT-UP ENERGY COMING FROM THE REPRESSED DESIRE.\n\nTHIS, IN ITS ULTIMATE AND WICKED FORM, CAN BE SEEN IN THE PERSON WHO IS TOTALLY SPLIT-UP ON THE INSIDE, TORN BETWEEN THEIR GUILT/SELF-JUDGMENT AND THEIR UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRES.\n\nTHINK THE FATHER WHO COMMITS INCEST WITH HIS DAUGHTER, AND HATES HIMSELF FOR IT\n\nTHINK THE REGULAR DRUG-USER WHO IS CONDEMNING HIMSELF AND HIS DRUGS AFTER WAKING UP HUNG OVER, TELLING HIMSELF NOT TO USE IT EVER ANYMORE, ONLY TO FIND HIMSELF DOING THE SAME THING AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND – CYCLING, UNTIL HE HAS BECOME AN SELF-LOATHING ADDICT WHO LIVES IN CONSTANT INNER CONFLICT BETWEEN WANTING TO BE CLEAN BUT NEED(L)ING TO GET HIGH.\n\nTHINK OF THE ‘SINNER’ WHO HAS TO REPENT FOR HIS TRESSPASSINGS OF THIKING ‘EVIL THOUGHTS’ – LEST HE ROAST IN HELL -, ONLY TO FIND HIMSELF BECOMING PREOCCUPIED WITH ‘EVIL THOUGHTS’, AND SO ENDS UP PRACTICING THE PIOUS ‘MORTIFICATION OF THE FLESH’ BY WHIPPING HIMSELF EVERY DAY UNTIL THE BLOOD COMES OUT OF HIS SKULL.\n\nFUCKED-UP RIGHT?\n\nSO WHEN WE SPEAK THE WORDS “NEVER EVER AGAIN” - BEWARE! – FOR WE ARE ACTUALLY IN DANGER OF TRAPPING OURSELVES IN A SELF-SUP/REPRESSIVE CYCLE WHERE WE ACTUALLY STRENGTHEN THE DESIRE / NEED OVER TIME, AND THUS ARE MORE LIKELY TO ACT IT OUT, AND POSSIBLY ALSO MORE CONSEQUENTIALLY, IN BIGGER ‘EXPLOSIONS’.\n\n– SO WHAT IS NOW THE ACTUAL PROBLEM? \nTHE PROBLEM IS THAT WE ARE NOT LOOKING AT THE ACTUAL POINT BEHIND THE ‘GUILTY’ ACT: WHY DID WE DO IT SPECIFICALLY? WHAT IS THE EXACT NATURE OF THE DESIRE? WHERE IS IT COMING FROM, AND _WHAT AM I LACKING WITHIN MYSELF THAT STANDS FOR / GETS TRANSLATED INTO THE DESIRE?_ (I.E. WHAT DOES THE DESIRE ‘COVER UP’ FOR?)\n\nEXAMPLES: \n1) UNRELENTING DESIRE TO GET LAID / BEING SEX-OBSESSED: NOT BEING INTIMATE WITH ONESELF / NOT HAVING SELF-VALUE\n2) DESIRE TO GET ‘FUCKED-UP’ BY USING DRUGS ETC.: LOW SELF-ESTEEM, FEELING (SOCIALLY) INSECURE, FEELING STUCK IN LIFE (AND WANTING TO ‘ESCAPE’ THROUGH DRUGS)\n3) BEING A RELIGIOUS FANATIC: NOT WANTING TO LOOK AT ONE’S OWN ‘DEMONS’ AS ONE’S REPRESSED ISSUES THAT FESTER WITHIN BECAUSE OF RELIGIOUS FANATICISM AND SELF-JUDGMENT\n\n… ULTIMATELY, WILL-POWER WILL NOT GET US WHERE WE WANT TO BE.\n\nWE HAVE TO WALK A PATH OF SELF-INVESTIGATION WHERE WE GET BRUTALLY REAL WITH OURSELVES, AND LOOK INTO OUR UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRES AS BEING REPRESENTATIONS OF OUR INSECURITIES, FEARS AND HURT.\n\nIF NOT, WE CHOSE TO CYCLE IN OUR GUILT-TRIPS ALTERNATED WITH BOUTS OF ‘INDULGENCE’ THAT MAKE US FEEL EVEN MORE FUCKED-UP AFTER THE SMOKE HAS LEFT THE BUILING; LEAVING US EMPTY, FORLORN AND HATING OURSELVES MORE AND MORE. NOT A NICE PATH TO BE ON (BELIEVE ME, I’VE BEEN THERE, OFTEN).\n\nWHAT WE FIND AS OUR DEEPER TRUTHS, WE NEED TO FACE AND FORGIVE – WHILE STANDING TRUE TO OURSELVES IN THE FACE OF ‘TEMPTATION’. AND NOT BE SELF-JUDMENTAL ABOUT IT. WE HAVE TO BE CHILL YET STRONG, AND STEADFAST IN SELF-CARE.\n\nTHANK YOU, BYE",
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