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      "body": "Ekene is a house boy who drinks his boss' wine and then adds water for cover up.​ ​His boss became suspicious and decided to buy pasties ( A french wine that change colour if water added)​.\n\n​As usual, Ekene drank the pasties and topped it up with water. ​Unfortunately for him, the pasties changed colour. When the boss came back home and notice the colour change, he told his wife about it.​ ​\n\nEkene knew he was in trouble and decided to stay in the kitchen.\n​\n​The boss shouted, \"Ekene!!!\"\n​\n​Ekene answered..\"Yes, Sir!\"\n​\n​Boss.. \"Who drank the pasties?\"​ \n​Ekene didn't respond.\n\n​The boss ask again, still no answer. Then the boss went to the kitchen to confront him.​ \"Are you insane or what? When I called you, you said 'Yes Sir', but when I asked you a question, you didn't answer me!\n\n​Hmmm Oga, when you are in the kitchen you don't hear anything except your name,\"​ Ekene answered.\n\n\"Let's try it. Okay go to the bar and stand beside madam, while I will stay in the kitchen. Then call me and then ask me any question,\"​ The Boss suggested. \n\n​Ekene shouted, \"Boss!\"​ \n\n​Boss answered, \"Yes!\"\n​\n​Ekene asked, \"Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam isn't around?\"\n​\n​Boss didn't answer​.\n\n​Ekene ask again, the Boss kept quiet.\n​\n​The boss came out from the kitchen shouting, \"Wonders shall never end!!!\n\n Ekene it's true. When one's in the kitchen, one doesn't hear anything except ones name\"​.\n\n​The wife interrupted, \"That's not true. It's a lie\".​\n\n​Without argument Ekene ask if she'd like to enter the kitchen to be tested and she agreed.\n​\n​Ekene called, \"Madam!\n\n​Madam answered, \"Yes!\"\n​\n​Ekene asked, \"Who is Junior's biological father? Me or boss?\"​ \n\n​Madam rushed out of the kitchen saying, \"This kitchen needs to be checked, I can't hear anything!\"​\n\n😂😂😂😂😂😂😀😀😀 Don't laugh alone. Share with others, spread the joke​.",
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      "author": "promiselord",
      "body": "1. When you see His greatness, it takes away your emptiness..\n\n2. In Life when you learn to listen, it saves you from avoidable prisons... \n\n3. Most times the great threat to a great destiny comes in disguise..\n\n4. In Life, Until You fight spiritually you continually end up a casualty..\n\n5. The Joy of every parent is to see their children  successful, but God's desire is for them to Know Him...\n\n6. In Life, When you see death you should naturally run but yet you are dancing to the tune of death its not because you love death it is because you have been blinded by the enemy, so you are not seeing death but seeing enjoyment...\n\n7. The Flesh is the connection the devil uses to attack every believer..\n\n8. In Life When you are in a hurry to see the future you might stumble into a renovated past..\n\n9. In Life you must know that if you don't sow seeds, you might reap a bountiful harvest of weeds...\n\n10. In Life don't allow anyone to call you the best,  because your true potentials are yet to manifest...\n\n11. When you have an encounter with God, you become naturally addicted to His Word...\n\n12. When you experience His majesty, it helps you to live a life of honesty...\n\n13. A true encounter comes with a change of personality... \n\n14. When you are waiting for God you are not wasting time you are only spending time... \n\n15. When you walk with the holyspirit you learn patience...\n\n16. As a music minister don't just build your music ministry on passion build it on revelation from the word of God and the holyspirit... \n\n17. In Life a man with revelation will face constant acceleration...\n\n18. When God wants to change a man He will show him a picture of who he should be... \n\n19. When you have no respect for God, you will suffer the same fate with this world.. \n\n20. In Your walk with God if you want to see His glory, you must be holy!!! \n\n21. When you are not ready to serve, \"it means that greatness you don't deserve\"... \n\n22. To Live a Life of mystery you must speak mysteries(Praying in the spirit)..\n\n23. When you make speaking in tongues a lifestyle, you burn for Christ for a lifetime... \n\n24. A Man can be anything in Life when he has made God his first Priority..\n\n25. In Life it is the test you go through that brings out your testimony...\n\n26. Life will never give you the things you need, It will only give you the things you decree...\n\n27. The Future is only visible to men that can see...\n\n28. In Life to leave your house spiritually empty is to come back home dirty...\n\n29. The Restoration God gives is not a finished work, it is a continuous Process...\n\n30. Seek Him, Love Him, Adore Him, Worship Him, Spend Time with Him and you will discover that you will naturally start becoming like Him...\n\n31. No matter the trials you go through, sometimes you might feel that the holyspirit has left you, just remember that He will never leave you nor forsake You..\n\n32. In Life Until you experience God, you will be conformed to this World...\n\n33. The downfall of a Christian begins when he or she sees sin as nothing...\n\n34. In your walk with God when you draw nearer, you will learn to confidently call Him Father...\n\n35. In your walk with God, When you become broken your love for God becomes outspoken...\n\n36. In destiny The Fire that makes a believer untouchable comes by prayer...\n\n37. When you see yourself taking the glory it means that the flesh is at work, fight it...\n\n38. In Life Learn to Pray against your flesh more than the way you pray against your visual & spiritual enemy because your flesh is your greatest enemy...\n\n39. The flesh does not die totally until you enter eternity...\n\n40. In your walk with God you need Restoration daily because the trials that comes has grown in strength fiercely...\n\n41. The flesh's full expiration will take place after your transition...\n\n42. Paul said I die daily which means that your flesh might have died yesterday but if you don't handle it again in a new day, it can ruin you today...\n\n43. An Embodiment of Fire is a product of Prayer...\n\n44. Demons fear you when you're hot but prefer you when you are cold, so be watchful...\n\n45. A carrier of power is normally a person that is addicted to prayer...\n\n46. A life void of the presence of God lacks joy...\n\n47. A sinner comes to Jesus not just for prosperity but for a change of identity...\n\n48. In Life and destiny , Your Anointment Determines your fulfillment...\n\n49. In Life & Destiny when you let go of pride, you will receive a burning revival deep inside...\n\n50. Prayer is one of the ways in which we tell God how helpless we are without Him...\n\n51. When you ignore the works of the flesh, you become a liable victim to spiritual death...\n\n52. God does not want you just for a day, or a month, or a year, He wants you for eternity...\n\n53. When your mind is free from Evil you become repulsive to the devil...\n\n54. Your Love for God can be quantified and weighed by your love for His Word... \n\n55. You can't be listening to Secular music and expect to be morally sound...\n\n56. You can't be paying attention to the devil and expect to escape evil...\n\n57. In Life what you can't give will make you shrink...\n\n58. In Life, When you don't spend time with God, you will lack relevance in this world... \n\n59. If you can settle down to Pray, in spiritual warfare you will never be a beggar... \n\n60. When you are always talking you can't hear the voice of God...\n\n61. When you walk with the holyspirit, sincerity becomes your identity... \n\n62. In Life & destiny for power to break out your fleshly desires must first wear out... \n\n63. In Life & destiny the friends you follow determines whether in the future you will lend to nations or you will borrow...\n\n64. In Life and destiny, before you go into any venture make sure you apply a scripture...\n\n65. The Scripture is what gives you the true picture of your future...\n\n66. This generation lacks power because only few possess spiritual hunger...\n\n67. The Presence of God is the birthing place for the move of God...\n\n68. If you are gifted or talented you must know that just as how God really wants to use you, the devil wants to do the same thing, so watch and pray...\n\n69. In life, to decline from greatness, is to walk away from your true essence...\n\n70. The continuous spirit filled revival of an individual is sponsored by various encounters...\n\n71. In Life, things might not be working because you are confessing the situations you're seeing...\n\n72. A destiny without Jesus will end up in Catastrophe...\n\n73. The Holyspirit is patient, when you do things that grieves Him, He might not leave you immediately, but when He wants to leave, He will leave quietly...\n\n74. The Holyspirit cannot share the authenticity of His voice with noise...\n\n75. We can account for our current walk with God, but our latter years is a topic that only God can debate on...\n\n76. Many people will come to a place engulfed with fire and go empty just because they focused more on the individual than the fire...\n\n77. The End result of prayer is fire...\n\n78. When fire comes, only the people ready can be consumed by it...\n\n79. The opening way to power is death to self...\n\n80. Tears can't bring a miracle, it is faith that can... \n\n81. To dive into the move of the spirit, you need to pray in the spirit...\n\n82. In Life, When you rid the flesh of pleasure, you become immune to pressure...\n\n83. In life & destiny, for fire to fall you need to yield to the holyspirit's call...\n\n84. In life, when you are always noisy is a sign that you're empty...\n\n85. In life, to stop praying after you see result is to be getting prepared for future insult...\n\n86. In life & destiny to continually be in control of demonic powers, you need to live a life of fire...\n\n87. In this generation is only men that know their God that will prevail in this world...\n\n88. Fire is the answer to a prayer for revival...\n\n89. Until God decides to help a man, every humanly help rendered to him will be futile, for who can help a man when God has not lifted a finger...\n\n90. Never attack the enemy's layer until you are engulfed in a bodily felt atmosphere of fire...\n\n91. When you give God your time, He gives you the true treasures of Life...\n\n92.The greatest Concern of the devil is not your material possession, it is your prayer life, if he can get it, he can get you...\n\n93. Your greatest desire should not be material possession, it should be the fire from God, because without fire when wealth comes it can be easily taken away by the devil, So Fire is the answer...\n\n94. When God wants to make you stronger than your enemies, He sends fire...\n\n95. When you carry fire, you are as dangerous as a naked wire...\n\n96. Your constant release of fire is based on how much you have been refined by prayer...\n\n97. The sun is the only element that even when you close your eyes and look at it you can easily see it in a red form, when fire comes even nonliving things will know that it is around...\n\n98. The purpose of fire is fixed, it is for unrepairable destruction...\n\n99. Men will never respect what you carry, until you have learnt that in the presence of God you must tarry...\n\n100. Praying in the holyghost is the fastest way to involve the lord of host...",
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      "body": "A man can have sex with a lady and still don't have any feelings for her, men only need space to have sex but women need reason to have sex. A woman cannot have sex without feelings, A man can travel for eight hours 'just to have sex with a female friend and yet, not love her. Sex makes men act as if they are in love while they are not! The eight hours travel sacrifice, gifts bought, hotel paid for and other expenses may seem to be coming from true love but they were all in the sacrifice for sex and nothing more. The foolish thing is this, the majority of women would jump up inside them and conclude that this is the art of true love. Sex is not an act of commitment. Men still leave the women they sleep with on bed and start thinking of the next woman to sleep with. The satisfaction that comes from sex dies in minutes. It is in the nature of Lions to go miles to hunt. The same with men. A man who can afford the expenses of flying from the UK to Nigeria for sex would do it as if he would never turn to another woman for sex. Sex drives men to do what seems like the impossible and such turns women around and they start acting weird. Sex and love are not on the same page even in the dictionary. People can abandon their gold mines and dig the grave for sex. Most young men do terrible things just to have the resources to keep many girls in their life. You may think they are working hard to live well in the future but they are just living for fun and that is all. Students are now living together like husbands and wives, and our society calls it love. What kind of people do these students become when they leave school? This is why we have a lot of frustrated graduates than nation-building graduates. Today, a 16-year-old girl is already into sex. She wants to wear everything on trend. She is already a prostitute in the sense that any man that comes her way for relationship must show some signs of money and she would respond to him. The funny thing is this, almost all those girls that have become sex symbols end up in a deep mess. How many of them today is changing the world they are into? What kind of spirit would they do well within life? They have sold their souls out to sex. They pride on what they wear and hotels they go to. That is their biggest achievement. The girls they called cowards are setting up economic empires. Their future is already exhausted when they come to their true senses? Advice to my beloved brothers and sisters: For men; never allow your erection today to destroy your future directions, stay positive. My sisters, all that glitters is not gold, make your future bright and its start today. I am not posting this to make anyone guilty or stand as a judge. We have turned Christmas and even Easter to Sexual seasons instead of The season of Grace n Mercy. As we begin Y2018, the Grace of the Lord is calling, let us respond before its too late again. Greetings toyou.",
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      "body": "<html>\n<p>Congratulations <a href=\"/@promiselord\" target=\"_blank\">@promiselord</a>, you have decided to take the next big step with your first post! The Steem Network Team wishes you a great time among this awesome community.</p>\n<hr>\n<div class=\"pull-left\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/DQmaAdLUJ3yaSkmcmWECWyPGPWcjfbCoZ8Tu4RM6H4DbjCi/steem-network-thumbs-up.gif\" alt=\"Thumbs up for Steem Network´s strategy\" title=\"I suggest Steem Network´s strategy\" width=\"320\" height=\"222\"></div>\n<h1>The proven road to boost your personal success in this amazing Steem Network</h1>\n<p>Do you already know that awesome content will get great profits by following these <a href=\"/steem-network/@steem-network/spread-your-posts-through-this-proven-strategy-and-get-great-profits-in-return--for-posts-created-at-2018-01-11\" target=\"_blank\" alt=\"Steem Network\" title=\"Follow Steem Network´s suggestions to boost your success\">simple steps</a>, that have been worked out by experts?</p>\n</html>",
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      "author": "authors.leage",
      "body": "### Greetings my friend!\r\n**I am glad that our community has increased with one more member!\r\nI hope that you will find here a way to realize yourself, and to benefit others\r\nBe yourself, be sincere, be honest and worthy of the place you are in.**\r\n\r\nI Upvoted  your post and Resteem of your greeting in my feed, where you you can search friends and other minnows...\r\n\r\n\r\nI think you can use this  collected information:\r\n\r\n---\r\nFirst off all! Most answers to your questions you can find here https://www.steemithelp.net/\r\n---\r\n\r\nBlockchain Explorer [https://steemd.com/@_Your_Steemit_Nickname](https://steemd.com)\r\nBlockchain Explorer and statistics [https://steemdb.com/@_Your_Steemit_Nickname_](https://steemdb.com)\r\nYour account achievements [https://steemitboard.com](https://steemitboard.com/board.html?user=clixmoney)\r\n\r\nNavigate the prices and exchanges where you can buy Steem or sell SBD\r\n[Steem](https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/steem/#markets)\r\n[SBD](https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/steem-dollars/#markets)\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\n_For the your first post use please #introduceyourself tag! Thank you:)_\r\n_You can become a participant in the competitions, by selecting the desired in the tag #contest or invent and organize your own._\r\n_More_ [_useful tips_](https://steemit.com/inspiration/@clixmoney/the-best-steemit-tips-for-my-dear-followers-and-all-steemit-users) _and_ [_steemit app_](https://steemit.com/steemit/@clixmoney/the-best-steemit-tools-for-my-dear-followers-and-all-steemit-users) _you can find in #steemit & #steem tag_\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\nThere is a Steemit chat with various rooms, in which you can ask questions, advice, or place your post to advertise it to the community https://steemit.chat\r\n\r\nUpvote chat in the telegram massager: \r\nhttps://t.me/steem\r\nhttps://t.me/intercambiosteemit\r\nhttps://t.me/Steemplus\r\n\r\n\r\nSimilarly, by reading the posts of other Steemians you can find invitations to the  Discord channels! They often contain upvote chats, and you can easily find friends of interest in them\r\nHere are some of them:\r\n<sub>_World Of Photography https://discord.gg/4Ezx2eM_\r\n_MinnowBOOSTER https://discord.gg/k7fWQD7_\r\n_SteemSports https://discord.gg/ApvKKUF_\r\n_WhaleShares https://discord.gg/DX7zErC_\r\n_Steem Gigs https://discord.gg/NuFVxKA_\r\n_SteemTrail https://discord.gg/gHt2aGN_\r\n_Minnow-Power channel https://discord.gg/WvFQzXu_ <sub>notify</sub>\r\n_Steemit Lover https://discord.gg/EVKhssF_\r\n_GuideSteemit https://discord.gg/nkwh36Y_\r\n_BuildAWhale https://discord.gg/yebax27_\r\n_Steemit ramble https://discord.gg/9pUSjv8_\r\n_VotoVZLA https://discord.gg/VhgeFJQ_\r\n_Steem Life https://discord.gg/SD3ReMm_\r\n_SteemLab https://discord.gg/phWQveU_\r\n_MinnowsUnite https://discord.gg/CJEEfgb_\r\n_Steemians https://discord.gg/uR95R7t_\r\n_Society for Narwhal https://discord.gg/repxc9v_</sub>\r\n\r\nTerritorial communities\r\n<sub>Steemit Philippines https://discord.gg/VyG83AN | https://discord.gg/Q8956PF\r\nSteem NIGERIA https://discord.gg/Y3u2z6T\r\nEast Coast Steem https://discord.gg/QXduBuk\r\nUkraine SteemOn https://discord.gg/cxq8JQd\r\nRu-Steem Trail https://discord.gg/8KyDBUx</sub>\r\n_Let us know if you know more or create new!_\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\n**Alternative interfaces:**\r\nhttps://zappl.com\r\nhttps://busy.org\r\nhttps://steepshot.io (-mobile app have to)\r\nForums https://chainbb.com\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\n**Mobile app** - eSteem :\r\nfor Android https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.netsolutions.esteem&hl=ru\r\nfor iOS https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/esteem-mobile/id1141397898?mt=8\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\n**Forget about youtube! There is https://d.tube!**\r\n**Have fun and joke yourself with https://dmania.lol/**\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\nA public SQL database with all blockchain data http://steemsql.com https://sql.steemhelpers.com\r\nFrom Developers https://steemconnect.com\r\n**Rewarding Open Source Contributors**\r\n**https://utopian.io | https://discord.gg/kPYBCYK**\r\n\r\n---\r\n**Autocuration**1 https://steemvoter.com\r\n**Autocuration**2 https://streemian.com/profile/curationtrail/trailing/943\r\n**Bot Tracker** https://s3.amazonaws.com/yabapmatt/bottracker/bottracker.html#paid\r\n\r\n---\r\nUse @minnowbooster for boost your rewards!\r\nMore https://www.minnowbooster.net\r\nhttps://www.minnowbooster.net/minnowbannericon.jpg\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\n## You also need to select witnesses and vote for them. These are people who ensure decentralization of the work of the blockchain. Make your choice consciously, by choosing responsible and useful delegates\r\nhttps://steemit.com/~witnesses\r\n\r\n---\r\n\r\n**[Golos](https://steemit.com/sbdgiveaway/@dimarss/dejstvitelno-li-golos-russkoyazychnaya-platforma-12-08) wait for you too!** Find more [here](https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/golos/) about Golos.io blockchain  platform - analogue Steemit! This is Steemit,s younger brother! **Join us: https://golos.io/create_account**\r\n---\r\n\r\n_Regarding the correction, insertion or deletion of your information, please contact @Dimarss_",
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