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      "author": "lidar56",
      "body": "I think it can be a big problem when you and your partner don't have the same views on sex life and you can have a lot of conflicts because of it! For me, this has always been a problem with my ex-boyfriend and now I find a hookup https://www.nastyhookups.com/hookup.html I don't want to look for a serious relationship again after this situation!",
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{
  "block": 68673517,
  "op": [
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    {
      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1664678963861.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23u5zYsxfsWrEfw3GPkNrxqM58SbCUoDWsVQ595JHQ1ugWrVWxMbGbhXVExBTZ5YbaEju.jpg)\n\n\nI want to address an issue in marriage that I think it's quite very important.\n\nThere are married who live apart because of job or in search of better opportunities in distant land or foreign countries.\n\nI remember the case of a guy who relocated abroad while his wife remained in Nigeria. It was a mutual agreement for him to go over to work and make enough money to relocate her and their only son.\n\nHe was away for a few years before his first visit, after which he started visiting annually for two weeks during the Christmas festive period.\n\nWhile he was away, he recycled casual sex partners who are aware of his marital status. The wife too, when she grew horny to her elastic strain, she became courteous to a guy flirting with her.\n\nThey started having sex secretly. But after every sexual experience, she felt guilty about it and wanted it to stop, but she couldn't. So one day, he called her husband and told him to either return to Nigeria or relocate them immediately.\n\nHe was upset and yelled at her. Being an African woman, she couldn't tell him how sexually aroused she felt most times in his absence.\n\nSo one day, she told her family she doesn't want the marriage anymore. Everyone appealed to her conscience but she refused.\n\nThe marriage collapsed and she moved on to date her secret lover. But the guy didn't want something serious with her. They broke up and she became upset with life.\n\nIf you are in a situation where you live away from your wife, don't be apart beyond the elasticity of your self-control.\n\n1 Corinthians 7:5 states clearly that if husband and wife would stay away from sex because of fasting and prayer, they should come together quickly so that Satan does not tempt their lack of self-control.\n\nThe idea of that scripture is, don't stay away from each other beyond the strength of your discipline. You and your spouse need to be aware of each other's strength.\n\nWhen a husband and wife who are distance away from each other desire to have each other in their arms but cannot, it is a proof that they are already stretched beyond the elasticity of their self-control.\n\nIn other words, Satan is already using their crave for each other to tempt them. \n\nOne of the responsibilities of marriage is sex, emotional support, etc. Meaning, husband and wife must be physically available for each other.\n\nIf you are a Christian man or woman living away from your spouse, work on living together so that Satan does not use the personal crave and longing for each other to tempt you into sin.\n\nEveryone does not have the same level of discipline to abstain from sex for a long time. I am specifically talking to those who live abroad. \n\nIf your marriage is bridged by what I'm sharing here, it is not just because the devil is already taking advantage of your situation, you too are to blame for lack of wisdom.",
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      "amount": "0.001 STEEM",
      "from": "alexmove.witness",
      "memo": "Please support me @alexmove.witness as witness on site https://steemitwallet.com/~witnesses. I send daily Witness vote STEEM reward and voted for some posts of those who voted. Your vote is very important to me, unyime! Good luck! 20221014",
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{
  "block": 68529885,
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1665284421708.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/Eokg5kVojLWxKQeXXdiFYMLa622y2ur7H8dGwcDmWVXDBR2fJqXzLLCpY4sSxyvLSwX.jpg)\n\n\nTo have a good marriage, you need Word seminars. In other words, you need to study the Word for yourself.\n\nIt is not marriage seminar or Valentine's day love event or talkshow where sex, romance and love are discussed that makes people better spouses. No.\n\nThe origin of marriage and love is God's Word. So to understand marriage, what you need is not marriage seminar. You need the whole counsel of God's Word.\n\nAm I discouraging people from singles and married meetings? No. But such meetings are insufficient to make anyone a good spouse.\n\nPersonally, I cannot remember all I was taught during my marriage class when I wanted to get married to Victoria, but I'm aware of God's Word that I study to become a better Christian.\n\nIf your personality is not changed by God's word, it doesn't matter the number of marriage seminars that you attend, they will never change who you are.\n\nIt takes two good Christians to run a successful union. Meaning, if the both of you apply the principles of God's Word correctly, the union will always stand the test of time.\n\nOne of the challenges in most Christian marriages is that the parties in it do not know how to apply God's word in their union. I will give a brief example.\n\nFor instance, I've heard ladies say something like, \"It's very easy to submit to a man when he knows how to love...\" This sounds logical, isn't it? But it's not God's Word. \n\nIn God's Word, both love and submission are mutually exclusive instructions to husband and wife. In other words, you don't submit because he first loved you. No. Also, as a man, you don't have to love your wife because she's submissive to you.\n\nGod specifically instructs us to love or submit in exclusion to the other person's part. Do your part without a recourse to whether the other person did his or hers. \n\nSocial media ideas and inventions have insidiously crept into so many Christian homes and wrecked havoc on the union. Women are saying that the reason they are obstinately resistant to their husband is because he's not romantic, caring and loving.\n\nHusbands are saying that because their wife is rude and stubborn, they won't love her. These issues are so because most Christians are not very conversant with their Bible. They are running their union on secular ideologies.\n\nUnfortunately, these worldly ideas are what people go to learn from so-called Christian singles and married meetings. Oftentimes, when people go for such meetings, the emphasis and topics of discussion are usually sex, styles, romance and everything that has to do with bed.\n\nThey are never taught to define the focus of their union and then run it on structures. If you ask so many Christians what the primary focus of their union is, they won't have what to say to you. Why?\n\nThe average Christian today think of marriage like the people of the world, which is – sex, styles, etc.\n\nAm I preaching against sex in marriage? No. The emphasis of my discourse is, to have a good marriage you need to be conversant with God's word and apply it in your marriage. \n\nSingles and married conference will never get the job done for you.",
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      "author": "ezrashepherd",
      "body": "Believe me in my experience, sometimes it's better to end a relationship that seems hopeless and start a new one. In this time of active social networking, it's easy to find a mate now. Marriages with foreigners are especially popular these days. If you want, you can browse <a href=\"https://ladadate.com/russian-brides\">russian women for marriage</a> on this site. These girls are very beautiful and you will be able to choose the one you like.",
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      "author": "brian.boone87",
      "body": "Beautiful words. I really miss love right now, even though I'm in a relationship. Things are so complicated between me and my girlfriend.",
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      "author": "mimijee",
      "body": "@unyime Okay, this makes sense though. I guess the part that is clear in the Bible is the fact that it is the man's duty to provide for the home and the woman will have to carry and bear children. The Bible also says the woman is a home maker, which does not necessarily mean cooking and cleaning. But since men happen to head the society they decided to specify duties from way back. But the truth is where love is involved all these specific duties do not matter, both of them are not ashamed to do anything. But where you said a man can stay home while the woman goes to work doesn't work so much. It could happen when situation forces him to. A man likes to provide so he can have his respect and as for women they would not like men who stay at home. I personally will not like such a man. All the same it's a nice post. Cheers!",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1659984809391.jpg](https://img.blurt.world/blurtimage/unyime/c5a10dc6ad592b386dba7fc1c31cc4e2411b8849.jpg)\n\n\n\nBreast sag naturally due to increase in size of glandular and lobular tissues, as well as tissues containing fat and water.\n\n It is a natural phenomenon.Imagine carrying a bag of water in your hand, there's a tendency for that bag of water to drag your hands down.\n\nHow much more when we consider the constituents of breast which sometimes can even include milk and we think it will not make it fall.\n\nIt's the same way the pair of testes inside the  scrotum contains seminal fluid, seminiferous tubules and as a result of what it contains, it sags downwards in the region it is situated behind the penis. \n\nIt sags because there is something inside.\n\nNo matter how the scrotum is cuddled, dragged and used, it will not sag more than it's supposed to sag neither will it stand more than it should because of what is inside it. \n\nIn the same vain, the standing or falling of  breasts has everything to do with it's content and the weight and fullness thereof and has nothing to do with if the woman has been promiscuous or if she has allowed different men to play with her breasts or squeeze and suckle.\n\nThat is why as a man, if you ever find yourself commenting, squeezing face, judging or opening your mouth to misyarn about a woman's breast which is fallen or falling or fell as the case may be, hold your scrotum and shout \"God I'm very sorry for badmouthing what you created. I will have sense next time Dear Lord\"\n\nAs for you that woman, just know that all breasts that stand today will fall tomorrow, as such use that breast and breast feed your babies today. Don't mind anybody iyeh.",
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      "body": "![FB_IMG_1659290934803.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/EonjcW8uEZptj8iJmF5ueb6mno7n3UMM6i7CS4K7T7vzbGxBGHSLJKfTGUg2ybr1ZYH.jpg)\n\n\nIf the object of education is to get rid of ignorance and the object of medicine is to get rid of disease, then the object of Christianity is to get rid of sin. \n\nThe Gospel lays its finger on moral evil and spiritual decay as the real mischief and misery of the world, while socialists canvass support to get rid of poverty. \n\nBut compared with the supreme curse of human selfishness, nothing else seriously matters as the proposition of the Gospel to cure the inward malady of the soul. \n\nHerein, it stands apart from other religions and objectives. \n\nThe prayer of the Buddhist is, “Deliver us from existence!” But that of the Christian is, “Deliver us from evil!”\n\nSin is the root problem of man. The Gospel is the cure. Receive Jesus now!",
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      "body": "![FB_IMG_1658966423037.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23wMqRuCttn83bp6D5DdZm7bL5weL7vNKSbCBujUPp6NeXqzYx3xcNeEBArpPKhDrjMR2.jpg)\n\n\nThe scripture calls a wife 'help-meet.' The word is a coinage from two words: help and meet.\n\nIt means suitable or complementary. So God was saying, \"I will make for man a helper that is complementary or suitable for him.\n\nIn the Hebrew, the word 'help'  is \"Ezer,\" while the word 'suitable' is \"kenegdo.\" \n\nSo in essence, when God said that he was making for man a helpmeet, the idea wasn't to give man his opposite or an opposite sex. No.\n\nHelpmeet means a complement or someone who suits man. \n\nSo a wife is not a man's assistant, his auxiliary, or subordinate. She was not created to assist man. She was created to complement him. I will explain.\n\nMost men think that a wife means the one who stays at home to do chores.\n\nThis thinking is caused by certain cultural influences that restrict women to kitchen, bedroom and living room.\n\nSo a woman goes to school, gets a good degree, but she ends up in kiosks and shops selling petty items, while the men go for real jobs.\n\nThis primordial thinking is also sermonize and taught as God's word in many Christian assemblies. Wrong.\n\nThe word \"help\" - Ezer, in relations to its use for man, communicates something entirely different from what people generally understood it to mean.\n\nWhen God says, \"I will make for man a help that will be suitable for him,\" he was actually saying that he will give man a complement of himself - someone who will perfect him in areas where he lacks strength.\n\nIn every passage in Scripture where the word \"Ezer\" was used, it is in reference to divine strength. In Exodus 18:4, Moses named his son 'Eliezer' to demonstrate God's deliverance from Pharaoh's siege. \n\nIn Hebrew, Eliezer means \"My God is my helper\": Eli - My God, Ezer - My helper.\n\nBecause Moses lacked the strength to deliver himself from Pharaoh, God came through for him as the Ezer who Kenedgo him when he needed strength to surmount Pharaoh. \n\nSo when God says that a woman will be a man's help in marriage, the idea is, she will be the complement of the man in the area where he needs strength.\n\nMen are different in capacities. For some men, where they need the complement of a woman is in finances - they need a woman to help them make money because they don't know how to.\n\nFor some other, they need help in foresight because they don't have vision.\n\nThis also helps to define what role we play in our marriage. God didn't assign specific roles to us in marriage. He didn't say that it's the man's job to wash the car and the woman's job to cook. No.\n\nRoles were set by society as people evolve. If you go to Nairobi Kenya, the roles of men in marriages there might be the opposite in Melbourne. \n\nGender roles in marriage were not specifically instructed by the Lord. Meaning, people should run their homes according to interest, leisure, time, expertise, and capacity.\n\nMeaning, if the man is a better cook and the woman is not, to complement each other, the man should do the cooking. The woman may be good at making more money for the family; hence, the man should not be ashamed to fix the home while she's away.\n\nThe role of women in marriage is complement, not auxiliary, assistant, or domestication.\n\nIf this is understood this way, no man will marry someone who reflects his weakness. How can you be financially incapacitated and still be looking for a slay queen who does nothing than paint face and nails and wait for a man to take her out? Error. \n\nIn concluding, in the Greek, helper is called parakletos - strengthener, guide, comforter, helper. It is used of the Holy Spirit. He comes as our help to supply us strength to carry through in life. This is the striking similitude of what women are supposed to be to men in marriage. \n\nHence, finally, the best decision a man or woman can make in marriage is to marry someone who complement him or her. A complement of yourself in a man or women is the right definition of your compatibility.\n\nGod bless you immensely.",
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      "author": "irawandedy",
      "body": "To become a verified member, it's a good idea to make a verification post on the Newcomers Community",
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{
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      "body": "![FB_IMG_1657477936587.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23wqkio6FmL4ZiNUqDnujpCXiSkjkfyWfM5ifBtSRZShKH3YFBD5s1gXHCseHA7nxjvCY.jpg)\n\n\nI want to address a pattern of prayer that is not only unscriptural but also selfish and not right!\n\nWhen we pray, the rational motive shouldn't be to use the disadvantages in other people's life as the basis for our prayer or thanksgiving to God.\n\nGod does not appreciate that!\n\nWhen you pray, don't say words like, \"Many slept last night but didn't wake up; we thank you because we are alive to see this day.\"\n\nTo pray that way is not only inconsistent with scriptures, it is selfish!\n\nIn Luke 18:10-13, two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.\n\nThe Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this way, \"God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.\"\n\nAt the end of his prayers, he was not heard because he was self-righteous. \n\nIn the context of the teachings of the New Testament, the prayers of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector are unscriptural.\n\nA Christian shouldn't pray to God the way the both of them did. Comparison was the Pharisee's rational motive for prayer.\n\nThe Tax Collector called himself a sinner desirous of mercy! A Christian is not a sinner; hence, should not call himself one while talking with God.\n\nSo both models, by the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, are unscriptural ways to pray to God.\n\nIn Paul's epistles to the church, we read of the Pauline prayer for the church.\n\nEach time I pray the Pauline prayers, the anointing get stirred in me because of the spiritual connection.\n\nRead and pray: Ephesians 1:16-23, Ephesians 3:14-21, Colossians 1:9-13.",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1656372153115.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23xedbJhGCCHmgTereLSFNthGzxeWpQdbfvNtv3mCVxQrSgrbfvc2X6icb3VabgyggbEq.jpg)\n\n\n\"Janet, how's is it going with you and Bro. Tom?\"\n\n\"Chioma, wow. Tom is a good person and a true Christian.\"\n\n\"What do you mean by 'He's a true Christian'\"?\n\n\"Well, since we starting dating, he has never touched me and he made it clear that sex is not part of the deal until after marriage.\"\n\n\"Hmmm. And you are cool with that?\"\n\n\"Ah, ah! Chioma, are we not Christian? Is that not the right way Christians should court?\"\n\n\"Janet, what if he's sterile, of a different sexual orientation, or cannot satisfy you when you're married, what would you do?\"\n\n\"So what do you want me to do now, Chioma?\"\n\n\"I'm sceptical of guys who say no to sex until after marriage. Some are gay or turn out to be sexually uncomplimentary to the sexual energy of their spouse.\"\n\nJanet sighed and her mind wandered in thoughts. \n\n\"Chioma, I think you have a point. I will do something about it because marriage is not something one walks out of so easily since it's expected to be a lifetime commitment.\n\nJanet met her fiancé, Bro. Tom and began quizzing him about his insistence to no sex until after marriage.\n\nIt resulted in a heated argument and she told him that she suspects that he is either gay or would not be able to satisfy her in marriage that's why he's avoiding it and using Christianity as his cloak.\n\nThe relationship crashed and they went their separate ways. Soon, fake news of Bro. Tom being gay saturated everyone.\n\nHe felt helpless and could not defend himself amidst the lies against him.\n\nHence, no sister want to marry him because they think he's gay.\n\nAnyway, this is one reason so many brothers, apart from the fact that many of them are also sexually reckless, dey fire 🔥 down plenty sisters, using the window of \"we want to marry.\"\n\nIn our churches, we have children of God, children of the flesh, and children of Satan. These three are different people. All three of them are in this story.",
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{
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      "body": "![FB_IMG_1656142930451.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23wqrZB1jxLNSqzE2CieSCcJ2YkPpS5PijVbeUtuRscRKAYxCrs6e22WWB1tzqihNQDaJ.jpg)\n\n\nIn mid-2003, I faced an audience at a National complex in Abuja comprising of the wife of the President, Senators, Ministers and other dignitaries. I had one minute to convince the judges that the Nigerian Police are not the friends of the populace - a tough job for a sixteen year old, especially considering the teeming number of armed policemen in the complex, glaring at me. \n\nIt was the Finals of the Presidential Debate, organized by the Presidency for all the Unity schools in Nigeria. I was representing my Alma mater, Federal Government College, Nise, as the Chief Speaker for the Finals. After the proposing and opposing sides have had their say, the Chief Speaker of the Proposing side, an eloquent brilliant girl from Federal Government Girls College, Onitsha, had offered a conclusion that roused a lot of applause from the audience. I had one minute to tear her arguments apart. \n\nThe road to the finals was arduous. There were four stages and as we smashed our oppositions, our fears increased. FGGC Onitsha were our regional rivals. They were also ascending and we were still smarting from the regional defeat we suffered in thier hands at the regional finals some months earlier. The girls were good, eloquent, articulate and have this 'sing-song' way of presenting their arguments. \n\nA night before, after we won the semi-finals, our greatest nightmare became real. The topic of the final was 'The Nigerian Police are the friends of the populace'. We had flipped a coin and I had prayed we got the proposing side. Nah. We got to oppose the topic and we were not prepared. I rallied our team together and we went to work. Day broke, finals came, dignitaries arrived. It was show time. The debate had flowed well. But I know we needed a punchline, something epic to floor our opponents. As they were speaking, I was making points and countering them in my head, bidding my time. \n\nAs they called me to give my concluding one-minute rebuttal, I proceeded to pick apart most of the points raised by our opponents, to the chagrin and discomfort of policemen in the hall. \n\"I heard my opponents say that the Nigerian Police protect the public, especially our leaders but I would like to ask, where was the Nigerian Police when the Attorney General of the Federation, Chief Bola Ige, was murdered right inside his bedroom?\" \nA collective gasp escaped from the audience. \n\nWhen I returned to my seat, I was numb, hoping in my heart that we win. We had come a very long way, braving sleepless nights, preparing, researching, memorising. We had done all we needed to do. \n\nThe judges announced the results, listing the points awarded to the speakers. In the end, they announced the FGC Nise Team as the winner of the 2003 Presidential Debate. I was overjoyed. \n\nNineteen years later, as I was in the shower this evening, this memory hit me with immense nostalgia. Special thanks to every member of that team starting from our amazing coaches Prof. Ngozi Ezenwa-Ohaeto and Mrs. Okenwa, members of the 2003 FGC Nise Debate team - Fumnanya Ebigwei Idagbon, Ezinne Nnabuife-Iloh Stephanie, Chinyere Ugwu, Udokogu Onyeka, Emeka Uwandu, Emmanuel Akunne-Nduka, George, Nworah Helen and the late Chisom Okereke. 🕊️💔\n\nI pray that in the new Nigeria 🇳🇬 we are fighting for, the Police will emerge to become friends of the populace. That the horror stories will end. Amen. 🙏❤️",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1655879860793.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23wWu6PzG4FLVv8kWJNM8SBPuP5L9GC5BojuBxzHnG7r5pzRP9G9v6rNo51xXj43ygNp3.jpg)\n\n\nNobody commits their daughter to the hands of poverty. \n\nA guy joined his girlfriend to see her parents and they asked him the question, \"Young man, what do you do for a living?\"\n\nHe told what he does for a living.\n\nThey continued the conversation and laughed so hard over what the father said about his daughter's childhood days.\n\nAgain, he asked the guy, \"What did you say you do for a living again?\"\n\nHe told him again. \n\nThe father told them to offer the guy a drink. He seems to be a bit comfortable with what he does for a a living.\n\nThey continued talking and the whole family was enjoying every bit of it. It felt like the guy has been part of the family.\n\nAgain, the father asked the guy, \"Hope the economy is not affecting business?\"\n\n\"Sir, well, since the beginning of this administration we have been trying... Hmmm. God is helping us... It's not been easy. It is well,\" The guy replied.\n\nThe father sighed. The cheerfulness in the house dropped. \n\nIt was time for the guy to leave. While seeing him off to the door, the father advised him, \"Why don't you diversified? Or have you tried something else so that you can be making extra money?\"\n\n\"Sir, I'm working on something like that...\" He replied.\n\nAfter he left, he told his daughter, \"The young man is okay, but he needs time to work on his source of livelihood. He's not yet financially stable.\"\n\n\"So, what are you saying, Daddy,\" She asked.\n\nHe hesitated and sighed, \"I'm not saying that you should push him away, but if there's someone else that you love, you can also bring him so I access him...\"\n\n\"Okay, Daddy.\"\n\nShe is now not too sure about the guy. Hence, she took a yahoo boy to the father and he approved him for marriage after he mobilized bricklayers to fix the broken fence of his compound.\n\nHe told his daughter, \"Eh, eh, this is how you know a good in-law-to-be.\"\n\nEnd of discussion!",
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      "author": "hustleaccepted",
      "body": "Your post was upvoted and resteemed by **@hustleaccepted**\nThank you for using our tag **#hustleaccepted** \nYou can also join our community and post at\n**[Hustle Accepted](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-182782)**\n\n![hustle accepted.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbTByKVYvx4eN5vRREMMTsn1co7y9iJo5bS1vaqoybGvS/hustle%20accepted.png)",
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      "body": "![FB_IMG_1655159701456.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23xAJnhuNHMNZ7sqXANmkGTG3SzjcrzYp17MXWLkT7dTpXS9MJSbQqEcPVpAv1ST3HYT5.jpg)\n\n\nEvery month Martín’s parents took a trip to see Grandma and came home on the same train the next day. One day the child said to his parents:\n\n“I'm already grown up. Can I go to my grandma's alone?\"\n\nAfter a brief discussion, his parents accepted. They said goodbye to their son and gave him some tips through the window.\n\nAs the train was about to leave, his father murmured in his ear:\n“Son if you feel bad or insecure, this is for you!\"\nAnd he put something in his pocket.\n\nNow Martin was alone, sitting on the train as he had wanted, without his parents for the first time.\n\nHe was admiring the landscape out the window. Around him some unknowns pushed themselves in. They made a lot of noise. They got in and out of the train car. The conductor made some comments about him being alone. One person looked at him with eyes of sadness.\n\nMartin was feeling more uneasy with every minute that passed. And now he was scared. He felt cornered and alone. He put his head down, and with tears in his eyes, he remembered his dad had put something in his pocket. Trembling, he searched for what his father had given him. Upon finding the piece of paper he read it:\n\n“Son, I'm in the last train car!\"\n\nMoral: 🤗 Though we must let our kids go, we always like to be in the last car, watching, in case they are afraid or find obstacles and don’t know what to do. We want to be close to them as long as we are still alive.",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1655159371926.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/Eopr4ebQ5rpGuxagKjnkMcAm9xVoS5jtmdMPxA6UPBjbehXo4K7cH1k84v5xGXEKEk7.jpg)\n\n\nI am convinced someone impregnated my mother, that's why I am here. Where is he? Where is my father? \n\nI thought my father impregnated my mother but mum is alone fending for me by herself. He's nowhere to be found. Where is my father? \n\nThe Holy Spirit did not fall on my mother like the virgin Mary, maybe I'm the next Jesus. Where is my father? \n\nNobody told me how I came about. Mummy is still trying to mutter words to explain her side of the story.\n Where is daddy? \n\n Where is my father?\n\nMom carried me for 9 months until delivery, Dad was nowhere to be found so I was told. Where is my father? \n\nWas he dead I asked curiously like a child who craves fatherly love and mentorship? \n\nNo, he's alive and well. Really, so where is my father? \n\nI grew up skipping all the developmental stages my father would have been part of but he was nowhere to be found. Where is my father?\n\nI grew up seeing mum take every decision and responsibility my father should have taken. Some she got right, some she got wrong. You won't blame her, she is just a woman. Where is my father? \n\nIn school, I saw my friends' fathers dropping them off at school but mine was nowhere to be found. The day Mom can't make it, I am on my own. Where is my father? \n\nOur troublesome neighbor's children will ridicule and mock me for being a bastard while their father was always there to protect and guide them. Where is my father? \n\nI am always the last person to pay my fees at school. My mother's petty business is not mature enough to carry our financial burden. Mum will cry all night for help to train me. Where is my father? \n\nI am growing into a man without someone to look up to as a father for direction and advice. Where is my father?\n\nIs this what fatherhood means, I asked mum anxiously, she could barely answer me because she is heartbroken by the very man she looked up to as a husband. \n\nWhere is my father?\n\nSometimes I wonder if he even cares if I exist since all through these years, my mother has played the dual role of being a father and mother. Where is my father? \n\n She's getting tired of me asking her who my father is and where he is. Where is my father? \n\nI am becoming a man and my father is nowhere to be found. \n\nAs you celebrate Father's day today, I have still not found my father. \n\nPlease, dear men, don't be like my father. I am not putting him in a bad light but he has some explanations to give to me. \n\nWhere is my father? \n\nThe boy is the father of a man, I hope and working tirelessly so that I don't repeat my father's absence. Where is my father? \n\nA cry of a frustrated son. \n\nHappy Father's Day to my mother standing in as a father. \n\nThis post represents every young man and woman asking this same question every day of their lives. \n\nDon't trivialize this, it isn't easy.",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/48JdWM2BqiU7zDGY5tNUBsR9qnfT386Ey6dY4kYog19FCwfCjTtWXjcbsvdc7csdHs.png)\n[Image credit](https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/portland-protest-has-been-ongoing-since-1794791068)\n\n\nIt was my extra year at the University of Uyo then. I had lost interest in school by that time.\n\n\nThat fateful day, I was at CBN Hall while students were on a peaceful protest against the hike in transportation fare for carriage to the Permanent Site at Nwaniba Road \nEverything was going according to plan until the protest went south and the police did their thing. My junior at HOFACO, Kingsley Johnson Udoette was the lone casualty. \n\n\nHe was shot below the stomach on the abdomen  and could've survived if he was attended to fast enough. He laid there in a pool of his own blood while students were running helter-skelter in different directions. I still maintain the rapid loss of blood killed Kingsley but that doesn't matter now. May his soul rest in peace. \n\n\nNews of the uprising soon spread to other parts of the school and in no time, it soon turned to a full scale riot where properties were destroyed while some were looted and stolen. \n\nI joined the fray and took to my heels heading towards first gate which was the most logical exit because the gate at Akpan Ekpo market was crowded with over 500 people trying to fit through at once. \n\n\nI got to First Gate and before I knew wassup, the blind man who stood to beg for alms ran past me and even faster than I did. He carefully maneuvered his way, crossed the road amidst the pandemonium and made his way safely across en route Ikot Ekpene Road. I was confused. What just happened? Abi my eye dey pain me? I realized that day that not everybody begging for alms are sincere about their condition \n\n\nI was at Epic Plaza when I remembered Mfoniso Edinyang (May her soul RIP) was still at Prefab  2B. I started another rat race towards the female hostel area and  by that time, the building housing the Vice Chancellor's office was razed down by angry students who felt the VC's poor decision to increase the fare was to blame for what happened. \n\n\nI got to the hostel area and met other guys trying to get their GFs or sisters or friends out. I dashed inside the hostel and managed to find Fonny hiding inside her room with her friends. We grabbed whatever we could and made our way out through the small gate beside hall 6 and escaped into Itu Road through Ikpa Road .\n\n\nTear gas had rent the air all around Ikpa Road and the school environs and even commuters who had no business with the school were affected. \n\n\nThe gory sight of Kingsley's body lying dead at the main gate entrance stayed with me for years until I was able to get over it. My family and his family were friends for years and his Mum has not been able to get over the loss of Kingsley. \n\nThe school was shut down and we proceeded on a strike that lasted six months and when we resumed, students were made to pay 7500 for non engineering students and 10000 for engineering students because the school authority believed they instigated the riot.\n\n \nI don't know about others o, but Akpan Mma Aggy refused to pay a dime despite getting the money from Mma Aggy🚶🏿🚶🏿🚶🏿\nJune 12, 2013.\n\nA day written firmly in the annals of history in the University of Uyo",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/48JdWM2BqiU7zDGY5tNUBsR9qnfT386Ey6dY4kYog19FCwfCjTtWXjcbsvdc7csdHs.png)\n[Image credit](https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/portland-protest-has-been-ongoing-since-1794791068)\n\n\nIt was my extra year at the University of Uyo then. I had lost interest in school by that time.\n\n\nThat fateful day, I was at CBN Hall while students were on a peaceful protest against the hike in transportation fare for carriage to the Permanent Site at Nwaniba Road \nEverything was going according to plan until the protest went south and the police did their thing. My junior at HOFACO, Kingsley Johnson Udoette was the lone casualty. \n\n\nHe was shot below the stomach on the abdomen  and could've survived if he was attended to fast enough. He laid there in a pool of his own blood while students were running helter-skelter in different directions. I still maintain the rapid loss of blood killed Kingsley but that doesn't matter now. May his soul rest in peace. \n\n\nNews of the uprising soon spread to other parts of the school and in no time, it soon turned to a full scale riot where properties were destroyed while some were looted and stolen. \n\nI joined the fray and took to my heels heading towards first gate which was the most logical exit because the gate at Akpan Ekpo market was crowded with over 500 people trying to fit through at once. \n\n\nI got to First Gate and before I knew wassup, the blind man who stood to beg for alms ran past me and even faster than I did. He carefully maneuvered his way, crossed the road amidst the pandemonium and made his way safely across en route Ikot Ekpene Road. I was confused. What just happened? Abi my eye dey pain me? I realized that day that not everybody begging for alms are sincere about their condition \n\n\nI was at Epic Plaza when I remembered Mfoniso Edinyang (May her soul RIP) was still at Prefab  2B. I started another rat race towards the female hostel area and  by that time, the building housing the Vice Chancellor's office was razed down by angry students who felt the VC's poor decision to increase the fare was to blame for what happened. \n\n\nI got to the hostel area and met other guys trying to get their GFs or sisters or friends out. I dashed inside the hostel and managed to find Fonny hiding inside her room with her friends. We grabbed whatever we could and made our way out through the small gate beside hall 6 and escaped into Itu Road through Ikpa Road .\n\n\nTear gas had rent the air all around Ikpa Road and the school environs and even commuters who had no business with the school were affected. \n\n\nThe gory sight of Kingsley's body lying dead at the main gate entrance stayed with me for years until I was able to get over it. My family and his family were friends for years and his Mum has not been able to get over the loss of Kingsley. \n\nThe school was shut down and we proceeded on a strike that lasted six months and when we resumed, students were made to pay 7500 for non engineering students and 10000 for engineering students because the school authority believed they instigated the riot.\n\n \nI don't know about others o, but Akpan Mma Aggy refused to pay a dime despite getting the money from Mma Aggy🚶🏿🚶🏿🚶🏿\nJune 12, 2013.\n\nA day written firmly in the annals of history in the University of Uyo",
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      "author": "ijelady",
      "body": "Yes my dear @uyime, the topic is interesting and I have Learn a lot as a mother, connection, connecting to our children is the most important thing to reach there heart.\nMy their, when I saw your topic i expected a picture of a stubborn child as parents do call which you have corrected now but I a picture of a beautiful lady, there is a post made by @focusnow that will help you do well on steemit, will you like to read it?\nIf yes let me know by saying yes @ijelady",
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      "body": "![FB_IMG_1654489835214.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23y8vEsHhcjfb6FeXTu2jpenymKTZMMN4VKr3h6yozhZUrPmjVmgPSpUcDa3g5yqCE4PQ.jpg)\n\n\nWhy are you always competing with another person? Why are you always seeking to impress man when the one that has called you is not even impressed? \n\nSister and brother of God why naaa...comparing yourself  with others up and down, even  when the Bible has said expressly that its foolishness.\nWhy do you seek to always be better than everyone and at the top everytime, na only you suppose shine abi... hmmm self glorification...\n\nSo even in church you have decided that Sis Amaka cannot sing more than you do, therefore you kill yourself with rehearsals...not because you want to bless lives ohh..your motive is wrong madam!\n\nAnd Bro Jeff has decided that he must dish out more rhemas than Bro John...so Bible study for 8 hours..lol\n\nEven Pastors are not left out, if their subordinate or another pastor is doing better than them, they will either hide the person or asassinate his character.. \n\nYour drive for evangelism is to make sure your church grows more than the other Pastor... Your drive for praying for long hours is so you can boast that you have stamina to pray for 10 hours...Ahhhh..na who do us this kind thing abeg....\n\nYes you can be challenged and motivated by another's success, to improve your self, but there is a problem when you always want to be the one to shine, 7when you want the spotlight  on you every time?\n\nThe reason for all these drama in the body of Christ is because MR I HAS NOT DIED...you are a Christian that is very much alive, the nature of sin is actively dancing legwork in you, beloved, you are not broken yet...\n\nWe Christians must allow God to  take  us to that point of death and brokenness, that we can say no longer \"I\" but Christ lives me!!!! MR I must die and it must happen ASAP.\n\nSomeone said, immediately self is glorified, Satan is satisfied and God is out of the equation.\n\nAre you sure God is still in the equation of your life? SELAH",
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      "body": "Thanks for your explanations @unyime. No child is stubborn it depends on us parents to guide them the write way to follow. But what if parents did their part and, the child refused to follow their instructions, what is it called??\n\nWhile I was reading your post, I found out that something is missing. No alignment and center headings. Please do well to apply them on your next post.\n\n**Checking the rules**\n\nCriteria|Rating\n|---|-----\nClub|5050\nPlagiarism-free|✔️\nSteemExclusive|✔️\nBot-free|✔️\n\n**Checking Post Quality**\n\nCriteria|Rating\n|---|-----\nCompliance with Topic|1/2.5\nUse of Markdown|1/2.5\nSpelling and Grammar|2/2.5\nContent Depth|1/2.5\nTotal |5/10",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1654488253623.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23wCJERoZPYmzbQXhTfqs8QHadETN164P4V5eqySL6a3uUnYSf8obr2PT7qz5GqKhE1z2.jpg)\n\n\nThe best kind of help is rendered to people who may never be able to repay that kindness sooner or later. \n\nI was in my final year in 2015 and it was time to carry out the compulsory undergraduate project course in partial fulfillment of the B. Pharm degree. \n\nI was on the verge of spending an extra year because I could not get the complete money to buy the chemicals to begin my bench work which cost about #67k as then.  Of course, you could hardly tell your supervisor you don't have money without being greeted with abuses and ridiculed with the tag that education is expensive. \n\nIt was another trying time for me, I suffer for my undergraduate life sha still putting up an appearance but I can only thank God for everything I went through. I thought of suicide countless times, the first was in 2013, that's a talk for another. \n\nI rallied around to get at least #30k from my big sister, God bless her immensely. #37k shy from what I needed to kick start my project work.\n\n Then God sent an angel,  I visited her and narrated my ordeal to her that am about to drop out in my final year because I could not start my project. I was teary when she immediately pulled out her passbook. That cheque is the first cheque I received in my life. In fact, I only heard of cheques until that day. \n\nI called her an angel because she has displayed all attributes of an angel. This angel is Mrs. Uwem Eyo. She was a life and destiny saver by that act. She's been a counselor, trainer, teacher, Big Sister, and supporter through it all. \n\nThank you Big sister for everything.\n\nThank you for the blessing of access and time. I don't take them for granted. \n\nThank you for always opening your door to me despite your busy schedule.\n\nThank you for the timely encouragement and pieces of advice before my wedding day, kai thus wisdom is bae, Thank you.\n\nThank you for 2015, that gesture will remain indelible in my heart.  \n\nThank you for the motivation. \n\nThank you for being amazing, your kind is rare. \n\nI appreciate you for everything, God bless you and keep you, Big sister. \n\nWe love you Mrs. Joyful Uwem Eyo. \n\nMay God continue to bless you and keep you.",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1654448948804.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23ywq2pnSEez9MRcjaJgWezNCbTqB75DN8k8ZHzw1cP96p1VJVUsjtM2yQdgbRGhCRpxY.jpg)\n\n\n\nI am convinced so many parents seeing this will jump at arguing over this assertion and even try to be defensive, possibly because they have been in the position of accusing their children of being too stubborn and recalcitrant. \n\nSome parents say this ignorantly while others think they have done enough to ensure that their children remain obedient to them. \n\nDear parents, it does not work that way. Your strategy has been failing so you conclude that your child or children are too stubborn. That's not true. \n\nEveryone has their mumu button.\n\nIt's not true Sir/Ma that your child or children are stubborn, your strategies or approaches are faulty or mundane. \n\nNo child is stubborn and you do not understand how to manage the developmental stages of their growth. \n\nDifferent approaches and skills are needed to train and raise children, especially this indomie generation. \n\nHave you noticed that our last born is always different because of the strategies our parents used on them that are different from us considering the prevailing times and seasons?  \n\nThat they didn't respond to those approaches of training does not mean they are stubborn.\n\nAt work yesterday, I had two young ladies with a baby. The child is about 11months throwing tantrums. The baby belonged to one of the ladies, and the baby was carried by the other ladies who was not the mother of the child. \n\nWhile the child was throwing tantrums, the lady with the baby beckoned to the mother of the child, madam comes and get your baby, he's too stubborn. \n\nHearing that, I was furious at her. I told her Ma, no child is stubborn please and this baby is not stubborn. \n\nGladly, she quickly corrected herself.\n\n I was happy she was willing to learn because most mothers will argue with you and give all kinds of excuses why they should continue to label them as being stubborn. \n\nYou hear mothers say, I have tried everything for this child or children but to no avail. \n\nNo Ma, you might necessarily not use the right approach and strategies to get the right results. \n\nEvery stage of your child or children is characterized by certain attributes or features peculiar to that age and time of their lives.\n\n There are characteristics you will expect from a 2-year-old child different from a 10 or 15-year-old child. \n\nThe ignorance of parents around these facts frustrates their training thus they term their children to be stubborn. \n\nYour child is not stubborn, you don't just know how to navigate your way around training that child based on that child's uniqueness and personality. \n\nThe next time you term your child to be stubborn, ask yourself relevant questions that will help you connect with your child well. Your ability to connect with them effectively will help your ability to get them to do your bidding. \n\nIt is coach Wendy Ologe that said, \"you can't correct a child you have not connected with.\"\n\nYour child or children are not stubborn, no child is. This is why your personal development as a parent is important in training and raising your children.\n\nThank you for reading. \n\nI hope you find this helpful",
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      "body": "While there is nothing you can do about your ancestor, there is something you can do about your descendants. \n\n\n![FB_IMG_1650211533995.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/23z7YkwgnXwaeUZchDi6VjQBkcxXiRKnBXt1R4EXdp4q1Q3XRcrBKaVL2pf2ocVtXYeq5.jpg)\n\n\nTo be in your children's memory tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. \nHaving children doesn't make you a father \nor mother, raising them does.\n\nIf you invest in your child, you don't have to invest for your child.\nChildren require presence not presents. \nAny written will can be torn in a few years after the demise of the writer of the will. \n\nThe only sure inheritance that you can leave \nbehind is the investment you make in your child, not for your child.\n\nWhat investment have you made in your child and children? \nDon't prepare the road for the children, prepare the children for the road.\n\n Please of all the investments to make in your child, ensure you lead them to the lord, this is the greatest investment ever.\nDon't forget the fear of the Lord(not the fear of parents) is the beginning of wisdom.",
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      "author": "unyime",
      "body": "![FB_IMG_1649246095673.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/unyime1/EobzmEJU5tHZLth1GmkKcbwQqiGQswafWCUXhkRgwiGuEwMZoDbnB3neHCHQ12ZZTo6.jpg)\n\n\n\n\nIn one of the parishes I worked,  a woman always came to me with bloodied nose and swollen face, fatal decoration from the man she called her husband.  It was always a dilemma counselling her because I could see her helplessness. The next thing she feared more than loosing her life to her beastly husband was actually losing her marriage to him. To worsen her case, she didn't have anything doing economically. \n\nLong story short, I finally convinced her to run for her life, after  receiving more bouts of life threatening beatings.  I paid for her transportation to her Uncle's house.  After two weeks,  she came telling me that the man called and begged her to come back,  she was obviously looking for my approval for her chicken hearted and Lilly livered disposition. In my magnanimity,  I chased her back to her uncle's house.  \n\nAfter some months,  the man went to beg. When I was consulted,  I told the uncle to give the man two major conditions: 1. Empower the woman economocally. 2. Deposit an undertaken never to beat her with the police and the uncle.  \n\nDeath in marriage by the hand of an abusive spouse is avoidable,  don't honor it. We all woke up to the sad news of the death of Osinachi,  a gospel singer, famously known for the song EKWUEME. suddenly,  the cause of her death started filtering.  I'm now reading that she died from injuries from violence by her husband.\n\nThe news going round now is that she's been enduring this violence for years. So,  her death,  for me,  was avoidable. Whatever made her to stay in that marriage despite constant life threatening violence CAN NEVER be godly.  \n\nThere's nothing pious and righteous about enduring life threatening violence till death. The Bible never says \" Blessed are those who are killed by their husbands or wives,  for theirs is the kingdom\" nope, it rather says \"Blessed are you when men persecute you and speak all kinds of calumny against you on my account,  rejoice and be glad for your reward will be great in heaven\" Mtt 5:11-12.\n\nIf spousal violence is the cause of Osinachi's death,  she won't be the first, I don't know if she will be the last,  but I hope her's will help in the liberation of many women in such situation.\n\nThe Catholic Church has no place for divorce in marriage, it's not a lexicon in catholic sacramental theology. Yet,  there's separation and dissolution. Separation is allowed when the life of any spouse is realistically threatened.  It's called SEPARATION FROM BOARD AND BED.\n\nSo hear me once more,  run away from the spouse that want to kill you by any means,  run for your life. Some women find it difficult to run because the man is their only source of sustenance,  this is why Osinachi's case befuddles me. She's a celebrity,  so I don't think she can't cater for herself or kids in the event of separation, if the story is true. \n\nI repeat, there's nothing godly, pious or Christian about staying with a man who beats you mercilessly and puts your life in danger. God can save you miraculously  from accident, armed robbers, bandits etc  but you see a violent  husband or wife, you have to save yourself: RUN.\n\nLadies,  get a job or career or trade,  just have something doing for a living,  marriage is not eminent or social welfare for jobless women. You will need it. If your husband is financially buoyant and negotiates with you to stay off work for the sake of raising your children,  that's fine by me,  but insist on him paying you a reasonable amount you fix in an account for as long as you stay home for the kids, E get why.   \n\nMay the soul of Osinachi and the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.",
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