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      "body": "It may be the jet lag from the fourteen hour flight I just endured (thank the good lord for Zzzquil and eye masks)  it may be the time change or it may just be the part of me that likes the feeling of safety screaming \"what are you doing?!\" \n\nWhy would I leave the comfort of my white fluffy bed and trust me chaotic mother with my sweet sweet Bambi, who probably thinks I abandoned her, why would I leave a steady paying a job to be what unemployed people call \"self employed\"and why in the world did I decide to eat at a Cheesecake Factory in the middle of Hong Kong?\n\nBecause I am terrified. \nAbsolutely terrified. I went from being crazy to being terrified in 2.8 seconds. \n\nI have so many voices in my head (and yes I know thats borderline evidence to be put in a mental hospital) telling me so many different things. \nSo many unanswered questions.\n\nLike was I really supposed to get travelers insurance? \nor\nWhat about the people who warned me that I will be back in LA bartending again in less than two months, are they right? \n\nAs I sit in the Hong Kong International Airport waiting for my flight to Malaysia, my head is buzzing from the caffeine in this poor excuse for a cup of coffee and from all of the questions I can not help but debate back and forth in my head.\n\n\"Julia, just breath..go with the flow\" \n\"what do you mean go with the flow...I could die\"\n\"You aren't going to die\"\n\"but I could\"\n\nWhy are we as humans bred to chase conformity? Why is it that my internal compass is guiding me back to the comfort of bed? \nI told my little inner voices to get lost and ignored the ticking time bomb inside my chest and decided to somehow navigate my way through the signs I could barely read, landed myself a prime time seat on a double decker bus and headed to Harbour city to explore Hong Kong. I gave myself a pat on the back for not ubering (partially for saving money, partially for not being boujee) \nI managed to not get run over (by busses or people) in the busy streets, found a secluded park in the midst of the busy city that had a maze (what a perfect illustration for what was going on inside my head)\n\nAlthough the humidity made me feel like I was melting, and the smog made things a tad bit hazzier than expected, it felt pretty damn good to be here. To appreciate the people and culture I surrounded myself in. \n\nI am hoping as time goes on I am able to not only silence the voices inside my head but also let the people who are waiting for my return that they are wasting their time. \n\nUntil then I have about an hour before my flight, and the pressure to try some authentic asian food (not from Cheesecake Factory) before I take off. \n\nNext stop, Malaysia. \n\n\n![IMG_3401.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmP3VSXY9eC4XsRL5WmVPo4CcZ6j22dV9yb9GUapzSdykz/IMG_3401.jpg)\n\n![IMG_3409.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRgMUpGVsXg3PEgGrvLLx5P732CYeVjNGw5vV7GnUPoPw/IMG_3409.jpg)\n\n![IMG_3411.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYDSSeupgfyTgwKjMJ18yTbCEgFgKb7Go8xGWPXJiRaRN/IMG_3411.jpg)\n\n![IMG_3422.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZxtvynZ2LpxreRAL9KEaHuPmCVSPue2PUkAS994J33vP/IMG_3422.jpg)\n\n![IMG_3424.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmfZ7eNfxMsMu9wyhNPxTgVQnz2H8RvM6Tpt736gVpPyJM/IMG_3424.jpg)\n\n![IMG_3423.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVBkw3GLMkVXyK3ehRSfzxuUQAtSQ6Ye1DehekAWEzr8e/IMG_3423.jpg)",
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      "body": "I have never been good at first introductions, was never a fan of the whole \"tell the class your name and one interesting thing about yourself.\" I always got nervous and then awkward and would end up saying something completely irrelevant to who I really was  \"Hi my name is Julia and uhh...I like wearing mismatched socks because I feel like it gives me good luck\" \n\nI mean yea I really do like wearing mismatched socks maybe because it does me good luck and maybe because I am too lazy to match them after doing laundry. But the real point is here we are faced to define who we are every day. 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(Both were filled with too many restrictions and made me feel broke, both financially and mentally) \n\nAnd by age 21 I decided to pack up all of my college memories in cardboard boxes and load what I could in a Uhaul and drive half way across the country to either chase my dreams or run from settling (I still haven't decided which one I am going with)\nI do find it funny how people tell us to think outside of the box, while everything we use to define ourselves can easily  fit in them. \n\nSo I made it to LA booked myself a couple of background roles (you can ask for my autograph later) managed to get a gig bartending in one of the hottest night clubs in LA right on the corner of Hollywood and vine and even landed myself a spot on a reality show (another thing I might or might not discuss) \n\nIn LA you are never really forced to define who you are, maybe because everyone there is still trying to figure it out and in no hurry to \"settle\" and I was perfectly okay with that. I spent nights eating spoon full of cookie dough sitting on the kitchen floor with casual police sirens playing in the background while Bambi snuggled in my neck and also had nights spent sneaking in the back of award shows and events getting to meet some of the craziest people, and realized \"wow they really are human just like me\" when I saw one of them spill their drink as they stuck their chewed up gum in a paper napkin at the bar. \n\nSo, the good part about LA is the absolute zero pressure to build a future for yourself and to keep living life on the \"I am still young and I am two shots deep and this Drake song speaks to my heart so let-me-live-my-life\" side but then BAM you wake up two years later, still bartending at the not so hot anymore club still on Hollywood and vine and the only main difference is the couple of pounds thanks to the tubes of cookie dough you manage to still devour...which reminds me that I am running low. \n\nAnd one morning you roll over and think to yourself \"this can't be it, this can't be what living feels like\"\n\nSo I decided to sell my beloved jeep whose miles meant memories (Penelope Cruzin you will be missed) trusted my mother to watch Bambi, sold what I could and store what I couldn't and I booked a one way ticket out of the USA.\n\n\nDisclaimer: I have only traveled outside of the US once and that was when I went to Cancun Mexico and stayed on a resort with 95% American people, ate American food, and felt like a sipping a Pina Colada listening to Spanish music was all the culture I needed. 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